To have woken DS up to walk the dog?

[artemo4kak]

DS is 17, for his birthday we got him a dog as he’d been asking for one for years, one of the conditions of getting him was that he'd walk the dog and take care of it as it's his dog. He agreed.

Last night, his gf stayed over and I reminded DS he still needed to walk the dog. This morning, I woke him up at about 10 and told him to get ready to walk the dog, as we have plans for the rest of the day. He started arguing with me and called me embarrassing for waking him up when his gf is here. DP is on his side and has said I shouldn't have

WIBU?

YABU you don't buy a child a dog, it's a family dog so you can't expect a teen to do all the walking. However, if it's his turn or responsibility that day and he's been told I don't think YABU to wake him at 10 to do the walk.

In a few months time, ownership can be transferred to the 17 yo as he will be 18. An adult. I don’t see any difference to this from having a job to go to even if it’s a morning paper round before school or college. A lot of 17 yos are already working alongside college either as part of their course or for money. Some colleges send students, who arrive and haven’t done their homework home, because they are expected to study and complete the work as part of the course. That’s age 16 plus.

Some parents buy their almost adult a horse on the understanding they will tend to it twice a day. A parent buying a horse may not even be able to ride or handle it! And why the hell should they muck it out, turn it out etc?

Then let’s talk about single parents. A lot of 17 yo teens seem to manage to be perfectly good parents. I am all for looking after our children and being more cared for than I was. But really, the level of responsibility expected from some parents is woeful.

I said before I ended up taking care of a dog. I was a couple of years older. Funnily enough I managed to walk, feed and take care of the dog, even went to the vet when required!

It's your dog op your 17 year old will be moving out one day. Kids rarely ever look after animals properly it always becomes the parent's responsibility.

I'm with everyone else - why on earth did you buy a dog for a 17yo in the first place?

In a few months time, ownership can be transferred to the 17 yo as he will be 18. An adult. I don’t see any difference to this from having a job to go to even if it’s a morning paper round before school or college.

He's not going to want sole ownership of the dog when he turns 18 though no matter how much he may actually love the dog as itwon't suit the practicalities of a student/young adult lifestyle.

It's not even remotely comparable with a paper round which can be given up with no recourse if he wants to move away to uni. The dog will either be the responsibility of his parents or be rehomed a situation which was ridiculously predicable.

YABU for buying s child a dog in the 1st place and then refusing to care for it when that child can't be bothered. What happens if he goes to Uni, he can't take it with him, or when he moves out and rents somewhere and can't take it with him. Dogs live about 15 years or more. This is your dog a d you should never have bought it in the 1st place. Start looking after the dog you bought.

But if he goes to university, he won't be able to take the dog. Dogs (except for genuine assistance dogs) can't live in university halls or accommodation, and even if they could, a university lifestyle isn't compatible with dog ownership.

I mea - who's going to care for the dog when he's out all night? Or at lectures all day? He can hardly take the dog clubbing or to the library while he studies. He's hardly going to stay home in the evenings to walk the dog, or pay for a dog walker or doggy daycare at eighteen years old.

Some parents buy their almost adult a horse on the understanding they will tend to it twice a day. A parent buying a horse may not even be able to ride or handle it! And why the hell should they muck it out, turn it out etc?

Most horses bought for dc with non horsey parents would be on some sort of assisted livery and would likely be sold on once the dc leave school to move on to the next chapter in life. People tend not to do that with dogs

Firstly, the dog is yours.

Secondly YANBU to have woken him, as whilst the dog is yours, HE wanted it! Life choices eh?!

Of course the lazy little boy should get up and walk his dog.

GF 's embarrassment is easily solved by not staying over at your house.

He's 17, not 7.
If he's old enough to have his girlfriend stay over then he's old enough to drag his backside out of bed to walk the dog he was so desperate to have.

I said in a previous post that it would be more difficult to find suitable university accommodation these days. But I managed it with a lot of help from my ex, parents then with my current dh. We all chose to do it as the dog was being neglected and I wasn’t a party animal.

But you have to realise that the vast, vast majority of young people wouldn't want to do that, and many wouldn't be able to afford it anyway.

Getting a 17yo their own dog is naive at best, stupid at worst.

Never, ever, buy a child, or teenager a dog, unless you yourself are happy to take over the walking and care when said child gets bored. At 17 they are likely to start experiencing love and lust with human beings and the dog sadly, becomes an inconvenience. Proven the world over, since the year dot.

What conversations & planning took place BEFORE buying the dog? I understand he asked for one for years, but that's kids/teens for you. It wasn't fair to ask after the puppy was bought if DS still wanted a dog.

How did you envisage DS would look after a dog in the late teens/early 20's stage of his life.

unless there are some truly outstanding reasons here, buying a dog for a 17 year old is utterly ridiculous.

what breed us it? How old is it now?

17 year old DS's GF would not be sleeping over, so that's an easy way to stop him being embarassed at being woken up by his mum, in the family home.

You made a GIANT mistake.

Everything after that, including this morning, is because of that mistake.

Ynbu, gf or not, his dog still has needs.

he wants to pretend to be an adult, but not take on any of the actual responsibility. Stop letting him play house with his girlfriend and he won’t be embarrassed at being called out at shirking his chores.

Yes I totally get that most teens wouldn’t do that and a fair proportion would act like arseholes, which is how I ended up where I was in the first instance as this was basically a silly boy, who wanted a new toy and did nothing towards the dog’s care. My observation is that the default position that we can’t expect anything better from teens isn’t the helpful.

Assuming they have a garden

I'll say it again.

The question the OP posted was not about the dog needing the toilet. It was about walks.

Yes I totally get that most teens wouldn’t do that and a fair proportion would act like arseholes, which is how I ended up where I was in the first instance as this was basically a silly boy, who wanted a new toy and did nothing towards the dog’s care. My observation is that the default position that we can’t expect anything better from teens isn’t the helpful.

It's not about expecting better though is it? It's about being realistic and acknowledging a 17 year old has absolutely no fucking clue what owning a dog really entails but the adult should be mature enough to make the sensible decision and not bring the dog into the situation in the first place.

He's not an arsehole, he's a teenager who is innately selfish like many his age and who should never have been put into the position of being the dogs 'owner'.

It probably will be the Op's dog for longer than it's her sons but whilst he's there & capable he should be walking it.

Don't dogs need three walks a day?

@diddl
No, it very heavily depends on the breed, age & personality.