To think Jo Frost (Supernanny) was wrong to post inflammatory comments

[Margot78]

Jo Frost shared this on her FB page. I’m
not sure why, I was quite baffled by it. Surely she knows that parents of children with asd/adhd/ocd will be offended at the suggestion that they are chasing a label for their child? Not sure what she was trying to achieve with this!

😂😂 I read it like she says it! 😂

MooseBreath

You can’t correct Autism, you can help with coping strategies. It is a disability and disobedience when children are struggling with difficulties they can not help and others have no idea what are like to live with is perfectly ok and to be expected.

Would you say it was not ok for somebody with a more visible disability to disobey you because of their disability?

She also recommends working parents to not do chores until their children are in bed.

If she was a parent and in a house holding down 2 jobs she’d know how ridiculous that is to suggest.

It also increases the stigma toward ASD when every person who can't parent properly wants a label to excuse their shit parenting.
The eyerolls I get when I say my child is autistic because everyone's child has the little shit whose parents have decided to diagnosis ASD themselves in their class.

I have also been told by a couple patents my child can't be autistic because she doesn't act like those children then ask if she has brain damage too because she's a 7 year old who acts no different than an 18 month old.

The ignorance and dismissive attitude around autism is growing and the diagnosis is becoming meaningless. They way official diagnosis is "labelled" needs to change. The idea that a functioning adult who is married, holds a successful career, has children and is autistic has the same named diagnosis as someone who is incapable of speech, understanding or regulating emotion, will always need care from another person and never live independently etc. Is just stupid.

Many parents try to get out of parenting by allowing bad behaviour and then throwing a name at it like ADHD so no one can say anything and it’s ‘not their fault’.

I am glad that these things are more recognised now but I think it’s ridiculous that they are used an excuse for being ‘naughty’.

The truth is that most of us, if not all of us, have something.
I bet if everyone did an online quiz they would find out they have tendencies of autism or ADHD etc.

There is no such thing as a ‘normal’ brain and some of us are just better at fitting into the box that society thinks we should and acting ‘normal’.

Clearly most pp on here didn't understand supernanny. She never said children were naughty, the entire point 9f the programmes was about helping children and parents understand how to relate to each other. Back then it was all about the parents changing so literally showing her current point. She advocated for understanding why kids behave as they do and making them feel loved and safe with boundaries. And not labelling them but understanding acceptable behaviour.

We can’t use the word naughty? misses point entirely.
I agree the world has gone label crazy.

CarefreeMe

Ignorance regards neurodiversity and autism diagnosis summed up in one post.

🙄

‘Little shits’ is an awful way of referring to children, NT or otherwise.

It’s funny because many adults self diagnose the same things in order to excuse their twatish behaviour.

whoch make life infinitely harder for adults with those conditions and parents parenting children with those conditions.

tick box personality types need to get in the sea and leave actual medical conditions to those who actually with them.

I agree with @mrsparsnip:

She's a reality star who:

"who deals out pretty standard advice about setting boundaries, occupying children and positive communication, to families who seem to be struggling. "

Most of JF recommendations are just basic common sense. Love and boundaries. You'd struggle to convince me that most of it isn't just good parenting.

And I disagree that she has to have children. You don't need to have had children to know they need to be loved, nurtured, explained that certain behaviours aren't ok etc.

Which bit are we all disagreeing with? You can't argue with most of it, because it's just basics.

I thought it meant some parents want their naughty kids to be labelled with something so their behaviour is excused. They can say child has x,y,z and no one can comment on the child's behaviour then but if the child was just naughty (which some children just are) they don't have an excuse for that behaviour. Some kids who are just naughty nowadays are labelled as something & blamed on something else instead of parents taking accountability.

This!!! The very fact that other labels are considered fine

but neurodiverse isnt is very much disabilism

Absolutely this

It feels like every other child and adult has a ND diagnosis now. When it reaches the point when more than 50% of people have a neurodiverse diagnosis surely that means having a diagnosis is neurotypical rather than diverse....
I actually think all human behaviour and development is a spectrum and in recent years we are just drawing the line closer to the middle of that spectrum in terms of what 'qualifies' for diagnosis. There have always been people who don't cope so well with large groups, people who struggle with emotional regulation etc. I personally would prefer it if we just accepted that as a different personality type, i'm not saying nobody should receive a diagnosis as clearly there are some people desperately in need of support and services but there are so so so many children being diagnosed now that it's making it much harder for the most in need to access the services because loads of kids who frankly have the mildest of needs are queuing up for EHCP's, 1:1 classroom support, and every other additional resource going.
Don't people see that if so many people are truly neurodiverse then we can't give masses of extra resources and support to all of them? Imagine a situation (and it's honestly going that way now) where 40% of the kids in a class have a ND diagnosis and have managed to wangle extra support, who's paying for it all 😫

I actually agree with her.

In some parents eyes, especially those who have naughty children, they would rather a diagnosis that gives them an out of parenting.

“He didn’t mean to hit you. He has xyz”.

Fact is, some kids behaviour is simply naughty because parents won’t discipline

And whatever some of you think? Yes there definitely ARE parents for whom it's more palatable to decide their child is "probably autistic', spend years pursuing a diagnosis (often paying privately - I don't know a single person who has paid for a private assessment and not been diagnosed with something) and during that time insisting school put in place all sorts of interventions and exceptions. Because a lot of people don't want to look inward and wonder if actually maybe they haven't done a great job with boundaries etc.
Likewise private dyslexia assessments seem to always generate a diagnosis.

this naughty behaviour? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/primary/4655434-is-this-naughty-behaviourlink

This thread above is a good example. Is this naughty?

The truth is any mother wouldn't want their little daughter being chased around by a boy with a pair of scissors.

And also a reception teacher once she tells children to finish And that they are now moving onto another task she needs them to comply or else there would be chaos.

Finally it is unusual for school to suggest ASD. Most mums of SN children have the opposite problem: parents saying there's problems and child needs support, school insisting everything is 'fine'.

On the topic of self diagnosis
a) the assessment process is gruelling and takes a very long time

b) why aren’t parents who knows their child better than anyone say hey little bobby is showing a lot of traits it’s likely he’s on the spectrum

no one bats an eyelid when someone self diagnoses their child with a cold, some hearing impairment, or physical issue

but it’s unacceptable if it’s an invisible disability?

that in itself is disabilism!!! People are not grasping that

I agree with her sentiment- she's talking about NT children, not children who actually are neurodiverse. Amongst my peers I notice many many people can't or don't want to discipline.
The kid knows if they go on and on and on and kick off enough, that they'll get what they originally wanted.
I can understand parents not wanting to be the bad guy, but I think children who are disciplined and have strong boundaries are much happier and settled.

KweenieBeanz

Do you know how hard it is to get a diagnosis or EHCP? It’s incredibly difficult. Also EHCPs don’t just dish out 121 support. We absolutely do not want 121 as part of my daughters EHCP.

Re private assessments you need to be careful where they are carried out as many won’t be recognised. Doesn’t mean they’re not accurate but you can’t just buy a diagnosis and get support. It doesn’t work like that.

Most people I know can’t afford private anyway. It’s £2000-£3000!!!

She obviously a complete idiot as she doesn't know the difference between a label and a DIAGNOSIS.

There are neurodiverse children who conform to social norms and those that don't. There are also children who are not neurodiverse who are naughty. Both groups require parenting, and she is right in saying that there are some parents that would rather self diagnose and chase a label than look at their parenting style.

Probably not the best way to express it though, as clearly has upset many.

I get what she is saying. I have a dc with ADHD, ASD and OCD. In every support group there are parents who turn up who have a child that "must be autistic/have ADHD" because they are presenting with very undesirable behaviour and want to think that it's due to a medical condition. It is often very obvious from one meeting that these parents have no boundaries in place and that's more likely to be the cause of the behaviour.