To think Jo Frost (Supernanny) was wrong to post inflammatory comments

[Margot78]

Jo Frost shared this on her FB page. I’m
not sure why, I was quite baffled by it. Surely she knows that parents of children with asd/adhd/ocd will be offended at the suggestion that they are chasing a label for their child? Not sure what she was trying to achieve with this!

😂

😂!!

You don’t get help or support after a diagnosis. It isn’t there to give out or be taken by undeserving parents who have managed to hoodwink a trail of experienced and qualified professionals.

You get a diagnosis and that is it. If there are learning difficulties a child will have that dealt with and a diagnosis is used to inform. If there are mental health difficulties ditto.

I am a parent of grown children and I run parenting courses.

I also have a son with what was Asperger’s but we don’t call it that anymore due to the Nazi connections.

I think she is wrong, children aren’t “naughty” their behaviour is the language for their feelings (Margot Sutherland) and sometimes that behaviour is challenging.

On parenting courses I run I see a mixture of parents who want to do a parenting course to improve their parenting skills, parents who “have” to do a course due to CP, parents who clearly have a neurodivergent child and are desperate to be assessed and have to do a course first (which they usually find helpful) and parents who want to blame a lack of parenting skills on their child’s behaviour.

As with all things some are genuine and some are not and there will always be people who will use things as an excuse because it’s easier than looking at yourself, and these people clog up the system for the others, which is why most as asked to take a course.

My dd has adhd and has never been “naughty” yet if she had could have got away with it probably for having adhd! My other dad is just plain naughty 😂(no diagnosis with second dd )

I agree with her. Worked with some parents who blatantly didn't put anything in place for their kids. No structure boundaries, love even. All of whom when kids act up start shouting they want them assessed. They have adhd etc.... its a label sometimes used to absolve responsibility. She's not talking about genuine cases. Quite often you will see children all brought up the same and one will exhibit behaviours, that then stands out. All kids behaving that way? Nooo. Not often.

Mean dd not dad

I agree @mrsparsnip, but in context of 20 years ago, the generation raising children were the ones who would have been raised by smacking. We were told, rightly, that corporal punishment didn't work, but we didn't know what to do instead because we hadn't experienced anything else. Jo's sticker charts, family plans and naughty steps gave us those tools.

Not for all of us they didn’t . I think sticker charts and naughty steps are actually lazy parenting.

I used to love her show before I had DC. Then I had them and became very dubious of her methods. As far as I know she doesn't actually have DC herself. No one should be giving parenting advice if they haven't actually parented! It's one of those things that really does require first hand experience if you want credibility.

Judging by that post it seems her views on child development are even more thoroughly outdated now.

Strange how parenting is supposed to give you the tools but the parents she went to see didn't have any! I don't see the problem with JF ithink she's great at what she does

So all Social Workers/Family Workers have to be parents before they can do this job?

Absolutely disagree with you, that’s like saying a GP has to have experience of all conditions before being allowed to practice. people can train for these roles.

Do not like Jo Frost though.

🤣

I mean we are obsessed with labels 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Now, yes they are lazy parenting as we have moved on, but for those of us raised by the stick or slipper they were a positive tool. I can probably explain better by saying that my grandparents were raised by people raised in the Victorian era. 70 years ago my gp's used what they knew to raise my mum. My mum's relationship with her parents was damaged as a result, but because she had never been shown positive parenting, when I came along in the 1970s it wasn't as bad, but still parenting by shouting, slapping and very little affection. Sticker charts and naughty chairs look crap and lazy now, but it was something at least to people who hadn't known anything different to parenting by control and fear.

She labelled behaviour as "naughty", not the child. And I think she's right. A lot of neurotypical children's behaviour is naughty because they haven't been given appropriate boundaries. While some may feel the naughty step isn't the answer, it does work with some children, my own included. And frankly, having a diagnosis of ADD/ADHD/Autism (low-level, of course) shouldn't mean naughty behaviour is tolerated. These diagnoses allow us to help children with appropriate strategies and medication when necessary, but things like physical violence, verbal abuse, and deliberate disobedience is not acceptable.

Far too many parents get a (correct) diagnosis for their child and then use it as an excuse. Not all parents, obviously, as most are good parents, but it is a trend now for poor behaviour to be explained away with no attempt to teach and correct.

I'm really shocked at her ignorance based in her experience.

In the olden days when adhd wasn't recognised there was a bold boy in my class in the 80's he died on the street from addiction.

He had a supportive family. I believe many homeless and addicted people are the undiagnosed of yesteryear.

I am no longer a fan of JF she can do one.

She's not wrong though is she? The amount of parents who self diagnose their child with ASD/ADHD because it may have been suggested as a possibility is ridiculous.
"We are seeking a diagnosis for ASD." Really winds me up. That's not how it works. You can't just decide what diagnosis you want and seek it.

My cousin said her 11 year old son was diagnosed with ASD last year... by the school nurse🤯. No further investigation needed apparently.

It's being used as an excuse for poor behaviour and a way to pass the buck for poor and lazy parenting.

My mum's mantra was that a good slap never did me any harm. Except it did. She beat the crap out of me and I'm forever damaged by it.

So all Social Workers/Family Workers have to be parents before they can do this job?

they obviously don't have to but I wouldn't assign them much credibility until they do. I have friends who are social workers, paediatric OTs and teachers and some have been so incredibly harsh, judgmental and unrealistic in their expectations of the parents they see. Then some of them became parents and I watched how that shifted (in most cases anyway!) It's that old adage of how we're all the best parents in the world when those children are hypothetical!

However, in spite of all the above Jo Frost specifically designs herself as a parenting expert - not a social worker etc. You might have some short term practical advice that works in some cases but IMO you cannot be an expert at parenting unless you've actually done the job. It's an impossibility. You have no idea of what it's like until you've physically done it 24/7 around the clock with all the mental pressures that accompany it. So some may disagree but personally I simply couldn't take parenting advice from someone who doesn't have children.

You can say they are outdated but kids behaviour is getting worse because parents are not disciplining their children You only have to watch her shows to see her methods work and they arnt cruel or harsh at all they just give parents the tools to assert and be in charge which is what parents should do. Jo not having children is irrelevant she knows what to do and if you do what she says your life will be a lot easier Plenty of nannies don't have their own children but can look after other peoples and guide them the right way perfectly well

She’s absolutely correct though. People are scared of the truth these days. Am aware I will be flamed but oh well

What's bizarre about this is that it is significantly easier to change your parenting than:

• get an assessment
• manage medications
• lobby for appropriate support and accommodations in school/childcare/extra-curricular/the wider world

I'm not bothered about statements like hers, because it's simply nonsense

😁

Some of the best social workers and family workers I have worked with do not have children.