DH wants to move to London as soon as DC go to uni

[GoutFine]

DH is from London and we moved to the Home Counties when DC were small for schools/ quality of life. I have always loved it and he has loved it but always missed London. We met in London but I was from another area of the UK originally so don't have the same emotional ties.

Now the DC are older and youngest l due to start uni next year DH has said very strongly he is desperate to move back to central London. He wants to sell our lovely family home and buy a "lovely" flat in zone 1, with spare rooms for the children.

We have lived where we are for 18 years and built up a great network of friends and I'm so emotionally attached to this area as this is all our children have ever known. If it were up to me I'd stay here and the DC would still have their family home to return to. In all likelihood they'd be living with us for a while after uni and we are within easy commuting distance to London (25 minutes into Marylebone and we are a short walk from the station).

He says I'm being unfair as he has lived here for so long and he belongs in London and wants to live back there. I feel my life is here end don't see why he must live in London when we are so close anyway. I mainly feel sad for the children I don't want them to lose their family home and the friendships and connections they have here.

WIBU to refuse to move? He is desperate to.

Oh god. No. Perhaps you can rent for a while and see how it goes?

I think he would soon change his mind

People keep going on about the constant traffic and the claustrophobia of central London. I have my back door open on my small garden here because it's a bit warm tonight. It is silent as the grave because no one needs to drive here.

it can be quite noisy around Knightsbridge because of the super cars, one of my neighbours was the Iraqi guy with the golden Ferrari (everyone has seen it, the license plate is IRAKK) and they would just zoom around in circles all day.

I think it’s quieter if you live on one of the garden squares but I lived on the main road.

Sorry. I was wrong. It might be an accurate picture of your life @FreshCop but it's not of mine or the many others who don't hanker over a glamorous life but live a perfectly boring one in central London a mile from Knightsbridge in a fairly nice place too. PS Some of my neighbours are Russian and all sorts but I'm not aware if any of them are escorts or spies. It doesn't thrill me. As long as they keep the noise down I tend to live and let live.

@limitedperiodonly I’ll admit I was part of that circle, I was partying and in my early 20’s 😂

it can be quite noisy around Knightsbridge because of the super cars,

@FreshCop there you go again about the perils of living in Knightsbridge. It's really lucky you didn't buy there. Can I recommend my close-by central London neighbourhood? It's not glamorous but it is quiet and rather nice.

You seem a bit obsessed with Knightsbridge. Given the OP's top budget is £1m, I don't think Knightsbridge is going to be top of the list. There are plenty of other areas in central London. If you want to talk about your former life as a hanger-on, maybe create your own thread?

Cromwell Road isn’t in Knightsbridge anyway, it goes from Earl’s Court to South Ken where it turns into Brompton Road.

I know. I used to drive down it all the time I really liked that Homebase in Earl's Court with the fake Egyptian friezes on the wall. Gone the way of the Pharoahs now but I still have all the terracotta pots in my relaxing central London garden.

Last time I went to Regents Park, there were loads of horrifically noisy supercars going round the local roads like a race track.

I live in a shitty area and there's loads of modified exhausts but that's a nationwide problem.

@limitedperiodonly or live and let die! 😂

@Benjispruce4 Live and Let Die was the first Bond film I ever saw. I lived in Essex then.

Thanks for the updates and opinions I'll try to answer the main questions:

We live in Gerrards Cross so the fast train is 17 mins to Marylebone, so faster access to central than many areas of actual London. Its also an incredibly expensive area - our mortgage isn't paid off (hence our "only" £1million budget after fees, our hike is worth more) so having two homes wouldn't be affordable. Gerrards Cross is I think one of the top three most expensive places to live in the country so keeping a home here and buying a flat in a £££ postcode just wouldn't happen.

I have always enjoyed our easy access to and from London but also breathe a sigh of relief when I return to open countryside and the community feel of the area.

GX has plenty of great restaurants and cafes, obviously not comparable in numbers to London, but because we are so close to London that's where you go to if you want to see a show etc.

DH isn't black and we live in a multicultural area.

I really like the idea of a members club as a base and I'm hoping DH will too. I think he thinks that once the kids have left there's no point staying in a large home but he's discounting our network and life. Going to talk to him over the next few days.

In terms of areas Queen’s Park etc not central enough, he would be talking about Mayfair/ Bloomsbury/ Fitzrovia / Mayfair.

I love London and it would be great to have enough money to live centrally - even a flat, if it's in a reasonably nice area, will cost a small fortune. I live in London, but not centrally.

Maybe this is a strange idea but would it be possible to rent somewhere for a few months to find out if he still feels it is the best thing to do. Sometimes the reality does not live up to our dreams.

We used to live in West Sussex and I liked that very much but I'm not sure if I could settle there now. I can understand your husband feeling life is a bit dull and wanting to branch out now. There is so much going on in London and the transport links and other facilities are amazingly good.

Ok I think your DH is bonkers . He has a nice family home so close to London without the grime or the crime. Yanbu!

I really feel for you @GoutFine Its an awful situation. People often find the place they loved many years ago and dreamt of returning to, doesn’t actually make them happy when they do. Not only will the feel of living in London have changed (heavier traffic, more noise, more crime), but also in 18 years, he will have changed too! You could end up moving and not only you regret it, but he might too. I know you could move back, but it wouldn’t be to your lovely family home, so there would still be disappointment. Would it be manageable financially to rent a small flat in his preferred area for a few months. You could spend most of the week there with him and have another discussion after that. I hope you can find a solution you are both happy with. Otherwise, one of you may always feel resentment.

The problem with living in one place and travelling to visit frequently is that you never feel part of the community.

GC is the 6th most expensive place to live outside London.

There are not that many of the very fast trains to GC>Marylebone - the average journey is 25-40 mins.

Also one has the same sense of relief coming back from the bustle of central London to the leafy villagey suburbs of SW London as a place outside London.

There is no area of GC that’s properly multicultural the way London is. It has a smallish immigrant population, mainly Sikhs and Hindus, but it’s still majority white British and majority Christian too.

But equally DH needs to be realistic about having stepped off the inner London house price ladder, £1 million goes a lot further in GC than Mayfair.

Have to agree with this.

He's looking at Mayfair and surrounds? He needs to get on the lists of a few estate agents and get with the real world. Does he by any chance have a high opinion of himself?

You can get a 3 bed round there for £700k and it is a fab place to live

1st flat was Westminster/millbank
it is a very affordable part of zone 1
20 mins walk to Covent Garden

We very nearly moved from central London to West Sussex (both grew up in central London, but now have 2 young children). Circumstances changed and we had to stay put - so glad we did. A lot of London bashing on this thread - it's an amazing place to live. To the pp who had a horrible taste in her mouth after a day on the tube (or words to that effect) - get over yourself.

That listing is wrong
it’s a millbank estate flat and they don’t have lifts
you can get a big 2 bed for £600k and a 3 bed for £800k and so that flat is very overpriced . They haven’t sold for a million for a while
low council tax as it is Westminster, low service charge as ex LA.