To wonder why some people don't work full-time?

[donniedarko89]

I was part-time myself while DD was very young as I wanted to spend time with her. I know many mums however who have stayed part time even after the kids go to school. They only work 2 or 3 days a week. The thing is, they're not loaded, on the contrary they keep complaining that finances are tight and they can't afford stuff - then why not increase your work days (they could all easily do it)? Some of them even have a cleaner. No hobbies on the side either. It genuinely puzzles me!

Because I have zero childcare.

If i went full time, I would be worse off financially than working part time. I wouldn't be able to afford any more. In fact, I would have less.

Not all of us have parents on hand providing free childcare whenever and wherever.

My two kids 10 and 12 and I’m still part time. Monday to Thursday 9-3. Then the odd Sunday 4 hours. Warehouse retail, slightly about min wage. Had my kids older, I’m 50 now. I don’t really think I could go back to full time. Worked since I was 15 full time. My partner earns about 41k per year. Get child benefit, that’s it. Couldn’t afford childcare. Got a nice detached house, newish car. One caravan holiday per year. Shop Aldi. Smallish mortgage. Live central Scotland, so cheaper than other parts of uk.

Threads go like this on AIBU alot. Pile on. "Are you genuinely asking OP" 🙄. I understand what you are asking. I worked part time for years when my eldest was young and in primary. After mat leave with my youngest I had to resign and find another job. Which meant it was hard to find a new part time role. So went back to work full time. I still miss my part time days. It was alot more manageable with young children. Life was calmer for all of us. But personally I paid a huge price. Trying to do a fulltime job in part time hours. Trying to parent like I was a SAHM. I burned out entirely. So in a way, now when I work fulltime there is a better balance, for ME. My dh has to do 50/50. If there is a short fall we outsource stuff. I work in a more senior role so I have more autonomy over working hours. Hybrid working means I can still do assemblies, sports days and the odd hair cut. It is busier and no doubt harder for my dh. He had a cushty few years. But we are the greatest team now. We have to be. We are both accountable for bills, meals, life admin and child rearing. I couldn't do what I do without him. He couldt do what he does without me either.

Because I don’t want to. I work 3 days a week and I am very happy with that. If I needed to work more I would.

'My job wasn't available PT. A lot of jobs I see advertised aren't. There are lots of campaigns to increase job-sharing and PT roles, but the truth is that most companies still hire for full time roles.'

Many jobs aren't, but anyone who wants to can apply for flexible working.

DH and I are both solicitors and each work 80% FTE despite having teenagers. It means we're actually both working normal full time hours but billable hours targets are reduced to a more manageable level so helps maintain a bit of balance.

That post was not specifically directed at you.

You’ve just answered your own question btw, with the ‘it’s not as relaxing and balanced’ bit.

Can't agree. It could cost them more to work those extra hours than what they would take home. Money can be tight and you still not be able to work because you would earn nothing or even have to pay to work those hours.

@Eurydice84 I could just as easily say why not stay full time after the birth of your DC? It's a choice.
I work full time, it's my choice as I couldn't do my job part time and we rely on my salary!

Well in my case my husband did shift work so working full time round his hours was virtually impossible. His shifts were 12 hours and swapped weekly from days/nights…. So we literally couldn’t work childcare. We also only had one car so would’ve been horrendous both needing it.
not to mention having a daughter with a serious health condition making childcare harder and more stressful. So I worked a few hours around school times.
Also have you considered the sheer cost of childcare during the 13 weeks they get off for school holidays?…. Not to mention some mothers actually want to spend the holidays with their children rather than pay someone else to enjoy them.
For me I never had a child to then drop her in childcare. I’ve loved walking her into school everyday and picking her up. I know so many full time working mums who literally say they can’t do both motherhood and a career to their best ability, and it’s the former that suffers because they’re always too tired to be the best mum they can be… not to mention missing school plays, sports days, assemblies etc… needing to save annual leave for school holidays instead.
Also sickness is a nightmare, I have friends who really suffer when their kids are sick and they have to leave work to go and collect a puking child, then take the 48 hours off with said child.
Its fab if you can juggle both. Many can’t.

Work life balance. Especially since the pandemic, people have realised there is more to life than work.

I realised the other day that my ideal would be one day off a month- I'm in a job which means I can't take holiday as such and that one day would mean. I have an extra to do nice things as opposed to just house work. The unexpected bank holiday weekend for the Queen's funeral was lovely because it meant I had an extra day to fit everything in.

For me my greatest role is a mother. I wanted to bring my children up, not put them into childcare. I worked in childcare for 15 years, I saw everyday the babies put in from 7-30am until 6pm 5 days a week. We gave up alot of luxuries, but gained so much more. Yes I have said in the past how much I would love a fancy holiday, but give up being a mum to my kids for it, nope. Time will come.

If I worked F/T I would be dead from stress with having to deal with all the home stuff as well. I suppose it depends on the type of job you have. But that day off in the week keeps me sane.

As the child of two full-time parents who were not home when I returned from school, were not around during the holidays and really had no idea what I or my sister were up to, I was certain I didn't want to bring my children up in the way my sister and I were brought up. I have found working part-time has given me a chance to collect my children from school, help with homework and generally be around for them. I am lucky in that I work flexibly and a lot of my work can be done from home: I can even be working while the dinner is cooking. That said I chose not to focus on my career while my sons were young and I suspect I would have been a lot more successful, with a better-paid job and more seniority had I not chosen this path. I think each to their own. I admire women who work full-time. That said, those who I know who are in full-on responsible jobs struggle with domestic stuff, stress and looking after children if they don't pay someone to help.

Their children demand more of their time than yours do. Their SO demands more of their time. they don't want to pay childcare to work just to pay childcare to work. Their SO will not help in the home, so they use those hours cleaning. They have a side hustle they are trying to start that they have no interest in discussing with you. They are furthering their education and don't wish to discuss it with you. They or someone in their home have special health needs that are 'invisible' and they don't wish to discuss it with you. I could list a dozen more things, but I think all get the drift.

I am a teacher and work 0.6, 3 days a week which means about 40 hours a week. My husband is also a teacher, so whenever I do full time hours, we work over 120 hours between us. It puts enormous strain on our family and is not possible long term. Our daughter has ASD and she really suffers whenever I work all week. Don’t judge others until you have walked in their shoes.

I imagine it’s because:

• They want too
• They can afford too
• They are lazy
• They want an easier life
• They have no childcare/can’t afford it
• Their kids have SEN/disabilities
• They have SEN/disabilities
• No family/other parent support
• Feel it makes them a better parent

Or a combo of the above.

Crap jobs offer PT hours.... I loved my work, and could not have got a job locally that would have paid me 10% of what I did earn in the 1990s as a freelance. (Corporate finance communications v picking daffs) But circumstances change, and one adapts. I tasked my brain elsewhere when the returns diminished. By which, I mean I looked for ways to replace the income that was vanishing (age and Internet related). So now I am an SME company secretary and pension fund administrator.

In some cases it is true. I have one close friend who has always worked just 2 days and really does struggle financially to the point of having to ask her friends and family for financial help. And she gets so stressed coming up for Christmas or her kids birthdays.

Well it's nice you are reading my old posts, but the truth is: we as a family would not be financially comfortable at present if both were not FT, for different reasons. Yes, I struggled to fit in housework, for this reason I found a new job that is remote. Yes, I found the onboarding process a bit hard. So what?