To wonder why some people don't work full-time?

[donniedarko89]

I was part-time myself while DD was very young as I wanted to spend time with her. I know many mums however who have stayed part time even after the kids go to school. They only work 2 or 3 days a week. The thing is, they're not loaded, on the contrary they keep complaining that finances are tight and they can't afford stuff - then why not increase your work days (they could all easily do it)? Some of them even have a cleaner. No hobbies on the side either. It genuinely puzzles me!

@ambermorning

That completely contradicts your earlier post where you said he wasn't suited to childcare

Your looking for obvious answers here. Their income is topped up elsewhere so why overwork yourself with a job aswell as home admin/ childcare..

@Husbandintheroom

Yes I regularly go to the gym. It’s great to have the time to cook properly and look after your body with the gym visits. I was always too exhausted to go after work.

Ah, the mistake.OP has made is to think "Too expensive" means I don't have the money, and I would spend it on that if I had it.

"Too expensive" usually means " I don't value it enough to pay that."

When you are in a job you like and want to stay in its not as easy as just asking and getting full time work. I've been part time for 9 years and asked to go full especially now with the cost of living! The business have said they cannot accommodate and have no budget and work increase has to be justified to the business needs. You don't always get what you want unfortunately 😕 and to find another job and relearn will not pay so well. Its a catch 22!

I might go part time I value spending more time sitting on the sofa watching Netflix rather than working myself to death to buy more things..

Are you being serious? If not then you sound like you might be turning a shade if green 🤣

I work part time because I can afford to and I enjoy not being at work more than being at work. I'm also much better at my job because I'm not burned out like I was working full time. But I'm 'lucky' in that I can pick up overtime if I need to for a big expense like a holiday etc.

I try not to tell people that I work part time though, because they get all judgy like the OP. There's more to life than working.

Oh dear. I work FT and love cooking from scratch and baking. I bake with DD every weekend. I also take her swimming and go to the gym myself at lunchtime during working days and just before her swimming lesson at the weekend. It's not really one or the other @Dalaidramailama. I appreciate some jobs in high-pressure sectors might be exhausting FT (law, finance etc), but for average jobs, it's entirely possible to look after your health and work 5 days a week.

Happy to admit I'm very jealous, working ft with 3 young kids, went back full time after 9 months mat leave, still breastfeeding and up every night. I'm a lazy person trapped inside a really busy person's body 😆. I'd love to potter and lunch, in fact I think it's my calling in life!

Good point! I often say “oh I can’t afford that” when the fact is (as DH is always telling me) we CAN afford it easily but I don’t feel it’s worth it…..

I worked part time when dds were young. I asked them when they were old enough to understand whether I should increase my hours, giving us more money for holidays etc or or have me around when they got home from school. They choose the latter & often their friends came with them. DD, a parent herself now has wonderful memories of our times together

@CosyDarkNights

I have previously worked full time with 3 young kids. Tiring. Hope your calling comes true one day.

@Eurydice84

Nar, not for me. Working full time with 3 kids didn’t leave much time to really invest in my health. Lunches were crap outside of the home too. I have much more time now to plan my meals, cook from scratch and visit the gym for 1-2 hours a day (gym, swim, sometimes strength training). I also have a lot more head space which has increased my health. Fair play if others manage this whilst working full time but it’s not something I could accomplish.

Completely agree Pan. In my profession generally, and in particular in a recent role I was in, it would be extremely difficult to have a good work life balance FT. I was tearing my hair out 3 days a week, working 39+ hours and being paid 0.6. How lovely to be paid a ft wage for normal family friendly hours. Not a luxury I’ve ever had.

Maybe they have a job that is really demanding and stressful and can afford not to be doing that 5 days a week as well as running around after kids and doing all the life admin and home stuff. This applies to me. My life would be really miserable if I worked 5 days a week. I would be exhausted and kids would either be in after school care every day or they'd be at home doing nothing instead of their hobbies. I work 2 days and have time to myself and for my hobbies as well as doing all the other stuff. I also have to do a lot of work at home on my non working days (literally do bits and pieces almost every other day of the week) which I don't get paid for. It's the way my job works.

If you can go to the gym during your lunch break, how long do you get for lunch? What sort of hours do you actually work? Sounds like your job is very flexible and allows you to fit in your job around your life, rather than vice versa.

Lovely. I worked full time and my kids have fabulous memories too. It's not a competition you know!

I totally agree with you @Topgub and @Eurydice84 . The majoirty of women I know are what I would class as "lazy" or "money-grabbing" - think the world (or man in their life) owes them a living. They wouldn't dream of increasing their hours to improve their lot in life - God forbid!

Many people simply don't want to. It is undoubtedly hard to be full time and deal with house and kids etc. I guess they prefer to have less money and be part time. If they can make it work then I can see why it is more attractive. I work full time because I can't afford to be part time. Many people also say they are struggling even when they aren't. I know many well off people who complain about cost of living while paying for cleaners and going off for weekends away etc.

I work 24 hours/ 3 days a week. I have 2 teens.
I don't want to work any more hours. I still need to ferry my DC round, cook loads and look after a large house and garden and walk the dog.
I don't need the money, I just do it for social reasons and to ensure my own state and private pension.
Working 3 days a week also means I can do my hobbies.

@Hobnobsandbroomstick

I have to say it amazes me when people pop to the gym at lunch time. I barely had time to pop a sandwich in my mouth. Also when I leave the gym now I am drenched in sweat so I shower as soon as I get home. Couldn’t return to work in that state.

@Rosie492

The majority of women I know are neither lazy or money grabbing

Personally, I find it more irritating when people are constantly taking time off or asking for flexibility because of some shite that their 19YO really doesn't need help with. There's a woman at my work who still drives her son to sixth form and picks him up every day even though it's a 10 minute bus ride. No SEN or anything and the whole team have to make compromises to work around her special hours 🤷‍♀️

I went part time after maternity leave because DS was only 9 months old and I didn't want to go FT. Three days a week brought in just about the same as SMP by the time I paid for CM and this just about kept us afloat. I have increased my hours in the meantime, but still 3 days (long days). DP has been promoted and DS is now three so we get 30 hours free childcare. We are definitely not rolling in it, but we can pay the bills and have the occasional treat so we're okay.

I had always planned to go FT when DS starts school next year, but maybe compressed over 4 days a week (I work 9 or 10 hour shifts). However, an elderly relative has started needing more assistance so I will probably not increase my hours significantly if we are still financially afloat.

This is a very weird post.
After-school care is expensive. Especially if it’s for more than one child.
Some people value their work/life balance more than others.
Also… it’s none of your business and your ‘genuinely puzzled’ comment is extremely
condescending.

I wish it was more acceptable and viable for one member of the family to be part time. I wish that taking on the load at home was seeing as bringing real benefit to a family's well-being, as it is in plenty of other countries and cultures around the world. I've learned this a bit late now, at nearly 50, and I think a lot of us did during the pandemic. Yes, my children are older teenagers and need us less, but God, DH and I feel haggard and grey and DH and I are fed up of coming home to a messy dusty house, and nothing in for tea and an evening of ironing to look forward to.

The fact is, as a woman, I would LOVE to come home after a long and knackering day's work to a tidy, clean and orderly house, with something home made to look forward to for dinner, and a home made cake for dessert. I would love to have more free time at the weekend to do the nice things in life like read a book or potter in the garden or visit family, rather than cleaning the bathroom or going shopping or doing all the crappy life admin stuff.

There is something utterly pleasant and comforting about living a slower, more organised, way of life and having time to knock on a neighbour's door for a cup of tea, rather than rushing here, there and everywhere and snatching food when you can. I have no idea why we've all ended up being wage slaves rather than valuing the type of work which adds to a whole family's wellbeing, but here we are. We've managed to end up with a society where you must be economically productive or you're worth nothing and where has that got us? Even the basics are unaffordable and no-one has time to do the nice things in life which cost nothing and the amoutn of people with low level depression and anxiety has rocketed. Sad.

But go us. We all WORK. FULL-TIME. It's grrrreeeeaaattt!!! 🙄

I’d love to be able to work part time just would never be feasible financially. I can completely understand why you’d work part time if you didn’t need to