To wonder why some people don't work full-time?

[donniedarko89]

I was part-time myself while DD was very young as I wanted to spend time with her. I know many mums however who have stayed part time even after the kids go to school. They only work 2 or 3 days a week. The thing is, they're not loaded, on the contrary they keep complaining that finances are tight and they can't afford stuff - then why not increase your work days (they could all easily do it)? Some of them even have a cleaner. No hobbies on the side either. It genuinely puzzles me!

I haven’t worked in 18 years. We’ve been hard up most of that time. I can’t legally work on my visa.

honestly, I would hate to have to go to work now. I’ve become very used to just using my time to sew and write and watch shows.

They either earn enough not to need to work more hours or are lazy.

I think it is an interesting question, as some parents may want to work full-time, but the way the benefits system has been set up, they may end up being worse off working full-time.

I wish I had the option not to work full time as I have heaps of ideas for projects in my brain that I want to carry out, but alas, as a single mother I need to work full time just to pay the bills these days. So I have to work late into the night on my projects.

1. I don't want to
2. It would cost almost as much in childcare
3. Our hours work around each other so DH would have to get a different job
4. I like the extra time with my kids
5. I can be at most school events
6. I have enough family admin in my head without adding more work stuff in there too
7. I couldn't increase hours in my current job so I'd probably end up doing more hours for around the same pay
8. I don't want to.

I don't whinge about money though.

I’m about to go full time after 10 years part time - my youngest started high school and the juggling between school / after school clubs / holidays is over. If I had a choice though I would probably stay part time. Our pace of life as a family is so much more relaxed with me part time - my days off in the week I can clean, do the big shop, exercise , cook. Our weekends are family time and means we’re not rushing around trying to get all those jobs done. However, I need to think about my pensions now and with the cost of living going up the money will benefit our family massively. I completely get those who stay part time or don’t work at all, I also get the full timers out there too. Life is hard enough without judging each other !

i would love to work full time but there is no wrap around availability in my city. I work 5 days a week 9.15-2.45 and would happily work 9-5 if I could.

The short answer is people's circumstances differ. We don't have any grandparents living locally who can help (my parents live 250 miles away, DH's Dad is dead and mum in residential care with dementia). We use breakfast club on the days I work (3 days a week), my husband has negotiated his working pattern so he can start work at 7am on those days and do school pick up. DS has social anxiety so doesn't cope with out of school club as there are children from other schools. Also I have a chronic illness which is exacerbated by stress. That's just one example of how circumstances can influence working patterns.

Hang on - the OP is saying these mums moan about how hard up they are - yet for example they have a cleaner (which frees up their time).

There are loads of people like this OP. I am a needs must person but continue to thank my lucky stars that we don't need . As quality of life is very poor when both parents work full time

Yeah I guess if your quality of life is poor when working then yeah you're likely to feel pressure to stop/ reduce working. I'm relieved I had the choice to work and afford good quality childcare

@chopc

As quality of life is very poor when both parents work full time

Our quality of life is great, thanks

"And the outcome of that discussion would be?

Jeeze if my oh had proposed to me with the I dont view you as an equal id have kicked him in the face"

Its you who equates looking after children as 'not equal' Topgub. That's your internalised misogyny speaking. Most people don't think like that.,

@ambermorning

I didnt mention looking after children

Both of us look after our children. They're not adopted out.

Really?
Work isn't everything
I wished I stayed on a lower income...we were managing! Didn't have many luxuries but life was ok. I'm earning more money now than I ever have, we have more holidays and more luxuries but I hate it....it's draining! But I can't take that leap to going back to a lower wage now!

A job can easily fill your life. A family can easily fill your life. They told us we could have it all. We can't.

I think some people do not want to run themselves into the ground either. It's not a competition.

Topgub - You interpreted my husband telling me that if we had children he'd make sure we never had to worry about money as him saying to me "I don't view you as an equal."

I extrapolate from that the only way you can conceive of equality in a marriage is if both people work the same hours and earn the same and do the same with the kids?

Well that rarely happens, so good luck with that notion.

I work part time, my children are 10 and 13- eldest has additional needs. I'd rather never work full time again if we can manage it financially! But at the moment it wouldn't be an option anyway, there's no childcare for a 13 year old with additional needs and no childcare through the school holidays for either of them. Even if there was childcare available, it would cost more than I'd earn.

We manage okay at the moment- and I realise how lucky that makes us. All the bills are paid, we can have some treats like takeaways and days out, and we manage to save a little.

I work part time mainly because once childcare costs have been paid it’s not really worth me working full time, plus I do like the balance.

@ambermorning

Why would you extrapolate that rather than the obvious- he views women as capabable of nothing more than childcare but doesn't value it himself.

That's not equality

How to cover childcare during school holidays is possibly a reason for many.

Mostly because of tax, depending on earnings, dropping some days means you also pay less tax and in some cases come out with around the same take home pay. Or so I’ve been told by many people.

OK, now you are all being a bit caustic and unnecessarily harsh, I was just trying to start a discussion. I don't advocate working to death as a value or a mission in life, but if finances are tight (and they keep telling me that DCs can't do this or that because it's too expensive, cost of living rising, etc) then I do wonder. Didn't mean to offend anyone!

No, I don't think people are being harsh. It's a bizarre question. You yourself have worked part time. What would you say if someone was 'puzzled' at your choosing to do that? Your OP came across as judgemental to be honest. You could also ask why someone would choose to work full time, surely?

Mind your own business!

It really depends. Some people don't work at all as they are disabled in some way. Then there's mental illness, drug addiction, etc.

I've had a couple of men try to push me into the wifework caretaker mode but I just refused. They certainly would have never done it for me.

I've always worked because I enjoy it. I took a couple years off for each of my DC. I could have retired years ago but I don't want to. I love what I do.

I think you worded your OP slightly wrong. I worked part time when my son was little, then I became ill and he is a young carer. I cannot work at all. It's pretty grim. I think your heart is in the right place, but perhaps you could be more understanding of different circumstances. Not everyone Can work full time.