To wonder why some people don't work full-time?

[donniedarko89]

I was part-time myself while DD was very young as I wanted to spend time with her. I know many mums however who have stayed part time even after the kids go to school. They only work 2 or 3 days a week. The thing is, they're not loaded, on the contrary they keep complaining that finances are tight and they can't afford stuff - then why not increase your work days (they could all easily do it)? Some of them even have a cleaner. No hobbies on the side either. It genuinely puzzles me!

How does that come across as envious?

By being so judgmental about these women's choices. By stating (without even knowing) that they have 'no hobbies', implying that they're just sitting at home being lazy....

Whereas in my experience people who are really struggling are the last people who would mention it, as they'd be too acutely worried and embarrassed about it to talk to virtual strangers about it at the school gates.

Because my day off is the one day i have no work and no kids and as a single parent it saves my mental health.

@Lilacsunflowers

How do you get envious from that?

Rather than just judgemental?

I judgement loads of things (everyone does) I'm not envious of them

@MaybeIWillFuckOffThen so you weren't happy with the set up when you worked FT and were jealous of the hypothetical PT 'you.' So you changed your situation. Great.
It's a hell of a projection to start claiming other people are jealous!

@Eurydice84 also, some people naturally hide their light under a bushel. So, they won't broadcast how much they're working, studying, helping others, enjoying their hobbies, etc. x

NOT FACT!
If I hadn't worked FT when my DD was young and my then husband was dicking around choosing to leave jobs because he was bored I would literally be destitute.

This "no one looks back on their life and wished they had worked harder" post is such a load of bollocks. It assumes that people just work for shits and giggles. For some of us work is the only thing that's allowed us to raise our children.

Up there with the ridiculous notion that anyone who doesn't work part time is jealous of people who do.

Except men of course

None of them are jealous or wishing they had worked less on their death beds

🙄

Whether it's jealousy or unhappiness or boredom, some posters are very intent on criticising people's responses to the op's question.

The op asked why some women choose NOT to work full time. Lots of valid reasons were given. Some posters seem to dislike such answers and reasons. Or perhaps they're just looking for a fight?

Anyway, I'm leaving this discussion now.

@Lilacsunflowers

Or maybe they just find the debate around gender politics interesting?

If you dont, you don't have to read or comment.

Its a bit hypocritical to criticising other posters critical responses don't you think?

Or is it ok for you to post in a critical manner?

My DP was. So he went part time too! Not wanting to flog yourself to death isn't a gendered thing.

If more men wanted to go part time then they would.

It isn't women keeping men from working less.

@MaybeIWillFuckOffThen so you're talking about you and your dh. You seem keen to extrapolate from that, that loads of other random people are jealous!

@MaybeIWillFuckOffThen

Working full time isn't flogging yourself to death

🤷‍♀️

Depends on the job! But no not invariably you're right. Unless you're being actually literal in which case blush.

No it's all the bitchy "how can you be so unfair on your poor DH" posts I'm extrapolating that from. Suggests they think PT/SAH parents have an easier life 🤷‍♀️

Huh?

It was your quote!

Were you being literal?

The options aren't work much more than full time in a really stressful job or work very part time in a low stress job.

There's loads in between and it's job and person dependent

@MaybeIWillFuckOffThen

Don't you?

Have an easier life?

Isn't that the exact point you were just making?

Why do you know so much about what they do in their spare time? I wonder what your hobby is Facebook stalking...

I know! So what's the problem with people choosing where they are happy on that scale?

Yes I do! That is the point I'm making!

But i am not all pt/SAHM parents!

@MaybeIWillFuckOffThen

Then why are you annoyed at posters saying sahm/pt workers have an easier and calling them bitchy?!

You're saying the exact same thing!

My DH loves his job and has no desire to work part time. He plans never to retire.

He also now earns 2-3x what I would realistically be able to earn.

I wasn't all that into my job so it all kind of fitted together...

@MaybeIWillFuckOffThen

So what's the problem with people choosing where they are happy on that scale

Nothing. On an individual level.

Lots when it's 1 sex 98% more than the other on a societal level