Isn’t this all quite simply solved really be people talking about what is possible and what each want out of life.
All this angst about one person being dissatisfied…well bloody well say so and have a discussion about how your family life can be different.
The only thing I’d say, is make sure you have a detailed and thorough conversation and you gather information about the immediate, medium term and longer term implications of choices you make. The implications for being part time with small children don’t just stop there but can have implications for future career, pension, ability to manage independently if you have to in future. Likewise, Choices families make might have an impact on promotion prospects of the other partner, health implications, options for both to retire early or not, to support other family members in future, to move house……the list goes on. You cannot account for every possibility, but people should think carefully and into the future too.
The reality is that people have different situations and even in the same situation people make different choices. Some women want to work full time and some want to work part time. The same goes for men. Some get a huge kick out of work and moving ahead with their career and others don’t. Some love spending time with little kids and others are bored to tears by it. Some feel the need to split all tasks, including earning money equally and others are happy to share the load with one person doing more earning and the other doing other stuff.
People often used to talk about women not having choices. Some on this thread are suggesting men don’t have choices. Societal ‘norms’ about what men and women do, no doubt feed into what more women and more men do. Certainly more part timers are women and more men work full time. Many are happy with that arrangement and those who aren’t happy with whatever situation they find themselves in need to talk about it and take action to change things if they aren’t.
But anyone suggesting that a particular way is wrong, is just lacking empathy and an appreciation that people have different circumstances and make different choices. Other people might do or not do what you do. We all need to find ways to live and to generate the finances we need and to support our families at the stage they are. There can be many ways to skin a cat and pointing th finger and judging others isn’t helpful. Do what works for you. Discuss, discuss, work together to find short and medium term solutions and make plans and have goals that can be achieved together. That’s all.