To wonder why some people don't work full-time?

[donniedarko89]

I was part-time myself while DD was very young as I wanted to spend time with her. I know many mums however who have stayed part time even after the kids go to school. They only work 2 or 3 days a week. The thing is, they're not loaded, on the contrary they keep complaining that finances are tight and they can't afford stuff - then why not increase your work days (they could all easily do it)? Some of them even have a cleaner. No hobbies on the side either. It genuinely puzzles me!

I made the decision to go back FT when DD started school as I can be more comfortable with expenses. Also, I always resented the perceived power dynamic of DH working FT and me not. I like being fully independent and paying for my things.

Ye gods! A group of 8 year-olds could have a more intelligent conversation than this on TikTok.

In life there are women who -

work FT because they have to
work FT because they love it
work FT because they hate being with their kids too much / feel overwhelmed / don't understand the point

work too much because they are workaholics

Then there are other women who -

Work PT / SAH because they want to and they can
Work PT / SAH because they feel full-time is too much
Work PT / SAH because they are lazy

All of the above exist in all manifestations. It's hardly "PT workers all think this..."

Well OP, you know what they say ... Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer (or a few hundred).

I have two older dc 12 and 15 and the take on my time for them has not diminished as they have got older (excluding the young baby stage with lots of feeding). Its just different use of time. Rather than spoon feeding them or changing nappies I'm doing lots of other time consuming things, dealing with 2 different lots of schools admin (feels like several emails a day!), health admin , kits, activities admin, homework, battles over bedtime, washing, ferrying, spending time with them etc etc. I do work full time as I have to but I would dearly love NOT to and even if part time I would still be incredibly busy.

Shouldn't it be that 'a parent' was part time. It doesn't have to be mum.

The thing is I hate my job and always have! I stayed because the money and maternity packages were good, but I don’t see it as a central part of my identity. I don’t really care about career progression and have no desire to make senior leadership.

In the long term I should really find something more fulfilling but for now I’m enjoying spending time with my family and not working more than I have to.

There are loads of women at my DC’s school who don’t work at all so I don’t feel like an outlier. Equally I have plenty of friends who love their careers and want to carry on working and good for them, I’m quite envious of them for having found a job they really love.

I think a more interesting question is why men don’t often work part time. I’d like to see more of that and I don’t see why a world where everyone works full time should be seen as the ideal. Although perhaps it will increasingly become a necessity with the cost of living crisis.

This is fascinating that so many people have really good healthy reasons for wanting to work part time - children relationships, me time, relaxation, lower stress.....but hardly anyone is saying they want the same for their husbands.

All the posters saying that they couldn't fit in all the domestic chores whilst working full time... how do men seem to manage it then? My concern is that if women work part time, it then means they are expected to do the bulk of the domestic chores at the cost of their finances and career progression.

Not sure why you brought it up at all in the first place then😂

@RJnomore1 because my husband earns many multiples of what I do. He works in finance and I work in the charity & public sector.
His work is also much more flexible than mine since covid- Hempstead works from home so can see our children before and after school whereas I barely see my children on the days I am at work.

Isn't work real life? It's definitely not my idea of a fantasy! 🤣🤣

What's puzzling about it? If you don't have free childcare and a highly paid job, it can end up taking a big chunk out of your pay once you've sorted childcare. Some people weigh it up and decide it's not worth it, especially when you take into account commuting, getting home late and trying to supervise homework/fit in chores.

People perceive things very differently.

I work part time, dh earns significantly more. I've never felt that I'm not paying my way. If we were both working full time then something would have to give. Dh likely wouldn't be able to do the job that he does and would have to take a lower salary. We'd have to pay out a lot of money in childcare.

There are perks and downfalls for both of us, we both contribute in different ways but it all enabled us to have the lifestyle that we do.

I couldn’t give a flying fuck what other people do. I don’t care if they work 80 hours a week and earn thousands or part time and struggle or vice versa.The older I am getting the less I care. I work part time because I’m nearly 50 and want some time to myself. The older I get the more people piss me off anyhow so the less time I spend with them the better lol. My dc are teens so I don’t have to endure the hell of the school gate so wouldn’t know what dc’s friends mum’s do. Most of my friends my age work part time too.
I am happiest at home with my dog. DH on the other hand talks non stop and loves people so he’s more than happy working full time.

If men wanted to work part-time, they would di just that, wouldn't they.

Just because men (on a very general societal level) are less inclined to feel the need to be there for their kids most or all of the day, doesn't mean women have to pretend to be the same.

Why is this even a question?

This ^^

no because it was my mum

I worked full time when having DC1&2, I am now part time in a job that I love but I couldn't afford to do this job full time because of the cost of childcare.

I could get a full time, better paid role but then the DC would be on wraparound care 5 days a week and I would have to give up some of my volunteering roles because I wouldn't have time to do them.

Hopefully after reading all these responses you will see why many people choose not to work full time.

I find it wrong that women always think they have the right not to work but any man who doesn't work is a cock lodger or lazy.
Women have always worked. I think of my grandmother and great grandmother who worked full time after children ( laundresses) but so many women on here seem to think that dabbling in work part time is a woman's right. I suppose it is a modern phenomena

@ambermorning

work FT because they hate being with their kids too much / feel overwhelmed / don't understand the point

Really?

Is that why your oh works full time?

I do work full time though. I hope to go 4 days a week at some point and probably self employed in my 50s.