To be angry about this weekend.

[PublicLaundry]

So Bro in law got married this weekend to a lovely woman.
DH and I were asked last minute and without any proper briefing to pick up one daughter from his exes and then ended up parenting her all weekend. My kids ended up policing the 13 & 16 year olds drinking. The older one had a complete meltdown. The previous lovely new stepmum ignored them all weekend as did their dad. There's clearly been a huge famy fracture that we know nothing about.
We spent Sunday tidying up the village hall.
we now have their dogs to look after for a fortnight with no proper instructions or equipment (dog bed, tags for our house, no if hours left unattended, etc)

We're getting updates about the amazing honeymoon, the lovely photos, etc but we have had nothing from the grown ups thanking us for our contribution to their exhausting weekend. Even the left over booze & cake was whisked away!

The 13year old has dropped me a lovely message, I'm really angry on her behalf her dad and stepmum spent more time and money on their stupid dogs than that poor kid. We rustled up a last minute outfit because the poor kid had nothing special to wear just her older sisters unwashed, ill fitting clothes.

Two days later I'm still furious about the way the little girl & DH & myself have been ignored or not communicated with. The dogs are just a constant reminder and i've had to take time off work to get a grip of them.

Aibu to be angry?

Exactly why did you agree to clean up the hall?
I’d taken that to be a low cost everyone glad it pitch in affair, but now you say one of the wedding venues cost £5K for 3 nights?
I just can’t work out why you ever said you’d do it.

Actually, Testina seems to be the voice of reason on this thread.

She's 100% right in this latest post. That is offensive.

The voice of reason? Are you Jeremy Kyle?

You do not have ptsd. Drop the dogs at mils saying you have to go out and Dh is at work, lie to mil if you want and say bil said it would be fine. it’s not any cheekier than they have been.

Hardly obsessed 🤣 you post once, it comes up on your “I’m on” list 🤷🏻‍♀️

And that’s hardly the giddy heights of vitriol. I am unimpressed with the OP’s posts though.

Do you think it’s OK to describe both herself and her husband as having PTSD over this?

The op is asking for help on why she feels the way she feels. Instead of picking her post apart either support or scroll on by. Its not hard to not kick somebody when they are upset .

To the other person asking all wide eyed about no fence. I guess you haven't heard of hedges then.

Agree. It's in the same vein as those who say "I'm a bit OCD", or "I'm sure he's on the spectrum", it's offensive.

No offence to @kite22 but I’ve never noticed them. Hardly surprising though that if I happen to have a similar view to them on one thing, I might on others. Anyway, I reported your post for accusing me of sock puppetry which I presume isn’t allowed on MN. I also presume they can see that via IP check. If they can be arsed - it’s not that important 🤷🏻‍♀️

Perhaps you could just accept that we have different opinions? I don’t feel the need to accuse you of being @PublicLaundry afterall.

A 13 year old having to be stopped from drinking is very, very sad. That needs unpicking. That's just very wrong. No one has given her an emotional language to use.

God, when I was 13 I’d totally have nicked table wine at a wedding if I thought I’d get away with it, as would most of my friends. I didn’t need “an emotional language to use”, I was a perfectly normal and even quite nerdy teenager.

Some of the things you say aren’t unreasonable but then again you do come across as a bit of an unreliable narrator when you say dramatic things like this. I also don’t understand why you’ve passively agreed to things like cleaning or dogsitting if you’re not happy to do it? It’s a bit late now, but next time just say you can’t help.

If your not a dog lover I can understand the agg over the dogs.

The teenagers based on what you have said, it sounds like they weren't happy with the wedding going ahead. Had the 13 year old been offered a role in wedding and she declined and said she would wear her own clothes ? Then got screwed by her own mother for not providing at least clean clothes. Not Brillant.

Then due to bust up thats clearly wedding related, she got drunk because none of the adults were watching her and left it to your Dc to police her.

None of the adults are being great in this story. I would be narky but I do think your leaving parts of the story out and there's gonna be a drip feed soon.

Aibu to describe a 13 year old as a little girl for drama ✨

What strange posts @madaboutsaffron

So now you are suggesting if a person agrees with another poster on a thread, they must be the same person ?

I agree.

Re the kids clothes, the mother needed to get herself together and make sure the kids had nice clothes for the wedding if she either knew or suspected that the father wouldn’t have sorted out decent clothes.

Even if I wasn’t mad keen on an ex getting remarried (it wouldn’t bother me personally) I would still make sure my kids had clean/occasion appropriate clothes to wear.

None of this makes any sense. They're super rich. There was an expensive manor house ... but also a village hall - that you had to clean ... whilst you watched two teens and dogs ... and tried to stop alcohol poisoning ... as you made massive assumptions about the family relationships and blamed the parents - sorry just the DF - for the thirteen-year-old's clothing choices.
You're obviously missing a lot of background and information here OP.

If you didn't feel you could manage the DCs without a detailed briefing then you shouldn't have looked after them. There's no prizes for being a martyr.

Presumably in this multi-venue wedding there were other family members. If you didn't want to watch the DCs, you should have said no. Ditto for the dogs. And for cleaning the hall. And if your DH was the main contact with his family (and not you) then I'd assume he agreed to all of this and some of the information just hasn't made it's way to you.

I wouldn't expect profusive thanks from someone on honeymoon.

Maybe this is a good lesson in practising saying no.

And no kid, no matter how middle class or organic or body confident should be putting on clothes that reek of BO. The older sister smelt bad, really noticeable.
Did the girls both come from Mom's? I'm not disagreeing that he's a shit Dad and it shouldn't be Mom's job to dress them for the wedding but if 16 yo left the house stinking of BO and the only clothes the 13 yo could find was a dirty stinky dress of her sisters, it sounds like things are dysfunctional in both homes.

It definitely wasn't up to the bio mum to provide an outfit for the girls and why weren't they bridesmaids anyway?

Are you for real??????? OP has been dumped with two teens and 2 dogs without notice and had to take time off work and you think she's BU????? 🤣

@PublicLaundry Yeah I'd be calling them and demanding they come home immediately to collect the dogs etc or they'd be going into Doggy-Care and they'd be given the bill

@MightyOaks the kids have a mom and her husband agreed to have the dogs.

It wasn't, but honestly if your 13 yo can only find a dirty dress of her sisters to wear, I'm gonna judge the parent they've been living with that week. Where the rest of her clothes? Why aren't you saying no way of my daughter leaving the house like that?

This….

while I understand people suggesting taking the dogs to a kennel. They won’t be accepted without proof of their vaccinations.Seeing as how they didn’t arrive with enough food or bedding I doubt OP will have their vet records

You can’t ‘get caught up when you have kids, and dogs, they have behaved irresponsibly.

Our neighbours have put up new fencing on three sides of their garden . On one side they took down the old fence and put up new panels. But on our side, the fence is technically ours , and we didn't want it replaced. Especially not with the design of fencing they had chosen. They have therefore put their new fence up in front of our old fence . Unfortunately, their fence is higher than ours , and I can now see 6 inches of fencing I don't like. Do I mention it ? Or just try to cover up the view of their taller fence ? Probably not much they can do now the fence is up, but rather annoying for me.