This is going to offend some people, but...

[chandaliere]

To think that people who have left their country of birth and possibly family behind, to make a better life for themselves in a different place and have made a success of it, deserve a lot of respect ?

I think it takes a lot to make something of yourself elsewhere and can't help but have masses of respect for people who've managed to do that.

@PurpleIsTheNewPink I'm sorry if that's an experience you've had. That's horrific.

God this reads like one of those stupid Facebook posts that starts with "most people will be too scared to repost this, but I support our troops/poppies/Santa/insert non offensive statement designed to start racist conversation about PC gone mad etc"

There’s a huge difference between people who flee their home country because of war and those that choose to move abroad and can go home when they please.

That's a massive blanket statement. You could have two guys both from country X, both arrived in the UK by X and now both working as X. One could be doing it for the most admirable reasons and the other just for selfish reasons. 🤷🏻‍♀️

People who emigrate are just people getting on with their lives, like everyone else. They certainly don't want to be a vehicle for your admiration and messaging about how good you think you are.

@chandaliere I completely agree, I know someone who left his family behind and hasn’t seen his mum in years, father passed away too. All for a better life. The sacrifices are huge. I don’t think many people understand what someone like that goes through unless you’re in their shoes.

I'm interested that you joined Mumsnet (or changed your username) to post this @chandaliere. I'm wondering what kind of response you were after? Presumably the one from @fUNNYfACE36 is what you were hoping for?

Why would this offend anyone?

Thank you girlmom. I appreciate that. It happened a long time ago. ( When I was a child visiting my uncle who had moved to the UK with his family). I'd never experienced that level of aggression before or since so it's left quite an impression. I'll never forget how ashamed I felt of myself and my family.

🙄

OP there’s quite literally nothing offensive in what you posted. Why do you think there is?

Because it's Mumsnet 😜😂

Oh absolutely. Especially when the home office are so inept that they cause you to lose your property and employment!

my friends came from Portugal, they applied in April 22, she was given pre settled status quite quick as her mum was here, he is still waiting 7 months on.
they were in employment within a week of being here and had just found a house to rent, but the share code didn’t work. They’ve had hours and hours of calls with the home office, but seem to go round in circles, no one knows how to resolve it, consequently they’ve now lost the house and it’s unclear wether he can still work atm too.

so yes, courageous if your coming to the uk, as you may be left with no accommodation and jobless through no fault of your own.

For me, I currently work with a few women who've come here (and men but it's the women I work more closely with) from other countries.

In most cases, the reasons for them working here, they've said, is because it's easier to find work here than in their home countries.

I've also worked with people in the past who've come here to work from other countries who complain about the UK all the time, either in respect of work or about other things.

My direct family on my DM's side also migrated (Europe) to UK or back from UK to e.g. Germany to get work, and they had their own sets of difficulties/benefits to that too.

It’s time for sweeping generalisations! There are all kinds of migrants: the very old, the very young, the super rich and the extremely poor and everything in between. There are also countless different reasons for emigrating - some purely selfless and others selfish.

The only thing I will say is that I’ve found that migrants often share a kind of bond/outlook that people who have never left their birth country do not share as frequently. The experience of being “an outsider” and of also being able to sometimes perceive your own country and culture from a great distance is quite a special one. Of course, it’s not better or worse than someone who stays on the land of their birth - just very interesting.

What? You typed out that bit. Unless I'm hallucinating.

My parents came here to fill a skill shortage. They were overjoyed to leave their birth country, shitty for women, amongst others, behind.

Also reminds me of the 'AIBU to give my child super healthy food, and make sure they get lots of exercise' type threads. I mean WTAF?

Dumbest comment I have heard. I take it you have done this yourself?

Fair point

For those who think people on dinghies should be trying to fix their own country, I think this analogy may help. It's old but explains things in a great way IMHO.

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2016/02/08/syria-civil-war-brilliant_n_9186322.html

If you don't want to click a random link, Google Emily Pearce pub analogy

Selfish in my opinion. I would never leave my family and friends behind.

Even if it meant you could build somewhere better or safer for them to move to in a few months or years?

I am always in awe of them. I couldn't do it! I'm not brave enough and would over think every tiny thing that could possibly go wrong. Even if I had a job lined up already, a place to live already, and everything set in stone before I go I don't think I could take the plunge and actually do it. Some people do it without much more planning than, go to X city, stay at Y, and job hunt. But they do it! They job hunt and often find a job relatively quickly even if they don't like it and it's just temporary.

Also, even if you're fluent in a language, it's probably still quite overwhelming at first to move there and have to suddenly use it for everything and then learn little colloquialisms etc.
Then there are the smaller things like Christmas/Eid/Diwali/Anything they celebrate either not acknowledged in their new country or is acknowledged but they might be spending it alone.
Or when you're sick and nobody to help, or heaven forbid something very serious and you're in hospital with nobody who can visit or drop things down and just the thing of being in a hospital so far from home and no support.

So many things.

I actually think people who move away from their home and make a new life have a superior quality to people who don't. I think you can tell they have a different outlook on life. That's obviously a massive generalisation and I think it's an offensive opinion I hold.

I just think they're better than the ones that live and die where they were born and never properly venture out.

I think that's offensive. I should have said it from the beginning, but I pressed send before I wrote the rest of my post.

Its not ‘admirable’ because it’s a ‘selfish’ thing to do - they’re not doing it for the good of anyone else or some wider cause (unless they’re going off to work for a charity in a third world country or something). Admirable is a word that generally applies when people do something benevolent or selfless.

The people I know that live abroad didn’t do it for any huge reason other than because they wanted a nicer lifestyle, better climate etc.

As for staying local it has huge perks - family and friends you’ve known all your life, which is a great network if you have children. Plus local knowledge, a sense of belonging etc.

My dad grew up in a couple of countries owing to his dad’s career and has always had a bee in his bonnet about not really having a ‘home’ and feeling out of place everywhere. My niece is also being brought up in various countries as her dad follows his job, it’s impacted her negatively - she has no permanent friends and finds it hard to make them as she’s very shy.

I suppose William the Conquerer and his followers wanted a better life too!