Are people on public transport just generally rude in London?

[ThatFridayFeeling11]

I live in Essex and went on the train to London last weekend. Dh and I took our two children aged 1 and 4. We go up to London quite a lot to see friends, visit places and we normally drive and just take advantage of any free weekend parking outside the congestion zone. But last weekend we thought we'd give thr trains a go. The vibe on trains really changes once you get into London and there's a general rudeness and indifference. I'm not saying that people should give you any special treatment because you've got a baby and young child but a little consideration would have been nice. On the dlr, nobody offered their seat even though i was holding a baby and very obviously wobbling all over the place.

One of the lifts was broken at a station so dh carried the pram down some steps and I took the children down the escalator. I had dd in my arms and ds holding my hand. A man pushed past to overtake us and walk down the escalator and nearly made ds topple over. Ok, I get people do that on busy working days, but on a Saturday afternoon?!

And when we did manage to get into another lift at a different station, 3 men got out and said to us to give the lift a few minutes airing time as they'd been smoking substances in there.

There were many moments similar to this during our day out. Maybe we were just unlucky but it really put me off going on public transport in London with young children. It has left me with the impression that it's just every man/woman for him/her self. We're from SE Essex so not exactly a sheltered, rural place. AIBU over this or can anyone relate?

If she was carrying a baby in her arms and holding a small child at her side, she couldn't have kept to one side on the escalator and held the handrail. So she shouldn't have used it. That's the point.

It's shit having to travel only using step free stations. But you know what, plenty of wheelchair users do that. Plenty of people on crutches do that.

If you have any kind of accessibility or mobility needs, it's harder getting around. Doesn't mean you can try to bypass that by getting the escalator in an unsafe way.

The alternative was asking someone for help with the buggy, so the OP and her OH (who was with her) had an extra pair of hands.

People will help you carry your shit if needed. They won't tolerate you breaking the stand on the right walk on the left rule.

Sorry you had a bad experience but I agree with PP- I’ve lived in London for decades and have had the opposite experience taking my children on public transport.

Standing on the wrong side on the escalator really does irritate people- best to think of standing on the right as an absolute rule, like driving on the left, rather than as a suggestion.

You really are a hardcore Londoner aren’t you? You’re all over this thread, after anyone who doesn’t love it.

Guess what, I’m a Londoner too. Only I’m not as evangelical as you it would seem. And people are rude. When I was pregnant and on the Bakerloo line to go to an antenatal appointment, a suited man pushed me down the escalator. Nice.

Geez chill out. It’s sunny outside! It’s really not that serious. It’s just a thread on the internet. I’m waiting for a meeting to start so fucking around on the interwebs a bit. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you in some way.

You haven’t. I’m just responding to your response to me. That’s how it works on here sometimes…

Then Londoners are incompassionate And think everyone knows their rules

I live in Manchester but work regularly in London. The difference is huge. Of course up here people can be thoughtless and rude but they are so obviously more considerate.

''@midgetastic
With a baby in arms and a small child at her side holding her hand how can she keep over on the escalator?

Carrying a small child and holding another's hand - yea she does need a seat for safety

Glad I am rarely in London''

Thousands of families, some with several children, use the tube everyday...

You can't possibly suggest everything needs to stop every time one of them needs to use an escalator?

And no, she does not need a seat either. Parents on tube trains usually keep their baby in the pram so there is no need to hold them and toddlers can either seat on their parents knees if there is one seat available or be kept safe by their parent holding their hand if everyone needs to stand.

It really is not that difficult.

A man pushed past to overtake us and walk down the escalator and nearly made ds topple over.

You are supposed to leave space for people to pass. Having said that, I don't think there is a way for one adult to safely manage two children on an escalator, even if you don't leave each step half-empty, which on the underground you must.

The man who pushed past was completely within his rights, and you were wrong to be in his way, but you need a better plan. I wonder if DH could have taken a pushchair with the smallest child in it down the escalator, resting on the step in front of him. Assuming it's a narrow lightweight chair, and not one of the monster ones that are trying to be the SUV of pushchairs.

The escalator one is easy. The dc is 4

My four year old has no issue standing in front

Seat if not offered she should ask for the priority one. I’ve not had an issue with this though, people offer

When I moved to London from the Midlands I remember being so shocked at how rude most people were on public transport. I had people literally grab and throw me off to make room for themselves. Buses were the worst.
I have come across rude people on public transport elsewhere, but occasional individuals rather than a daily experience.

I love this answer!

As to the @ThatFridayFeeling11 if you had a pram, I don't get why you were wobbling on the DLR holding the baby... the baby sits on the pram... Similarly, why wasn't the baby on the pram when your husband took it and you did the escalator...

I have two kids with 3 years between them and went everywhere in public transport in London... you get a big pram that does steps or a small one that you can carry + child...

And for everyone moaning about Londoners, I have had more aggro in the lake district and also from a Edinburgh bus driver when I dared to press the button at the wrong stop and said sorry, it was a mistake

(missing the point of the thread)

"Up to London"?

I've only ever heard that on Downton Abbey, from people who live north of London. Surely you're going down to London? Or over?

Regarding the escalator, it's not a surprised someone pushed past you. There's enough signs telling you where to stand so people can get past.

You get rude people everywhere, I've experienced it when travelling up north. London is obviously no exception to having rude people, and it isn't for everyone. I do love it though. You just have to realise lots of people are in a rush, not always because they're running late but because the connections between trains can be so close in time they need to get from own platform to the other, which isn't always close.

The rudest people I meet are generally car drivers

And I would always give my seat to a mother with young kids

"The man who pushed past was completely within his rights, and you were wrong to be in his way"

Wow, is this what society has come to? Men pushing women and children out of the way because they are slightly inconvenienced or delayed by 30 seconds. Fucking hell how depressing.

I was in London in the July with a 13 month old, a nine and 6 year old. I found people helpful with lifting the pram where there were no lifts. I remember the underground close to the science musuem, I got help on the way to and from the science museum. I got offered seats on the underground or the kids got offered seats. One trip we were going from Stansted to Cambridge and my baby kept going to a man who ended up holding her until he got off at his stop (I hope it was his stop 🤣
It was the same day when the fire alarm went off at Kings X station and everyone was beginning to evacuate. I got asked if I needed help as I was with three small children. Op maybe it is different as you had your DH with you, I was alone with the kids.

@ThatFridayFeeling11 few questions for you

• on the escalator did you stand completely on the right? You and the 4yo in front of you and not to the side and of you? If not, you are in the wrong not the person who walked past you,

• on the DLR were you at a priority seat? If not there is no obligation to offer a seat to babes in arms (though I agree someone more able should) however if you wanted one you should have asked for one

Note- your 4yo isn't entitled to any seat. Put her in a pushchair or teach her how to hold on to the plexiglass or the pole.

I don't think people in london are more rude. I do however know that in london you have more opportunities to meet and get in the way of others. Outside of london you are generally in your own car shielded in a way you can't be on london transport

Finally, statistically the only times less busy than Saturday afternoon in central london are peak travelling times.

I live/work in Scotland, and used to work in London one day a week. The difference then was stark - I found London every bit as bad as you describe op, with people completely ignoring others and just focused on themselves with common politeness completely absent a lot of the time. I was ill on a tube once, very faint and clearly sweating, pale etc, was fading in and out of consciousness - not one person did anything - in Glasgow that just wouldn’t happen (in my experience). I love London but it is a soulless place in many ways - for an ‘outsider’ anyway I feel.

I’ve found people generally are very helpful, eager to offer help/a seat and babies on public transport do encourage chat. But I’m a Londoner so my threshold for people appearing friendly is probably positively frosty for some people.

The key is to be set up well for public transport. We have a pram that goes easily down the escalators and leaves room to pass on the left and can be carried easily on stairs. Always bring a sling if baby will need holding. I feel sorry for people trying to manoeuvre with enormous prams.

Meridasmum, you do know people live geographically 'below' London, so London is to their north?

What has struck me is the OP and another PP seemed to expect people to notice them. Notice they have a baby, notice they are not feeling well. That doesn't happen that often. In my experience you need to ask for help and it will be forthcoming.

Traditionally people always spoke about going up to London (or up to town, generally) whichever direction they came from, and down to the country. It's a bit old-fashioned now but I like it.

London is what you make if it.