Are people on public transport just generally rude in London?

[ThatFridayFeeling11]

I live in Essex and went on the train to London last weekend. Dh and I took our two children aged 1 and 4. We go up to London quite a lot to see friends, visit places and we normally drive and just take advantage of any free weekend parking outside the congestion zone. But last weekend we thought we'd give thr trains a go. The vibe on trains really changes once you get into London and there's a general rudeness and indifference. I'm not saying that people should give you any special treatment because you've got a baby and young child but a little consideration would have been nice. On the dlr, nobody offered their seat even though i was holding a baby and very obviously wobbling all over the place.

One of the lifts was broken at a station so dh carried the pram down some steps and I took the children down the escalator. I had dd in my arms and ds holding my hand. A man pushed past to overtake us and walk down the escalator and nearly made ds topple over. Ok, I get people do that on busy working days, but on a Saturday afternoon?!

And when we did manage to get into another lift at a different station, 3 men got out and said to us to give the lift a few minutes airing time as they'd been smoking substances in there.

There were many moments similar to this during our day out. Maybe we were just unlucky but it really put me off going on public transport in London with young children. It has left me with the impression that it's just every man/woman for him/her self. We're from SE Essex so not exactly a sheltered, rural place. AIBU over this or can anyone relate?

It's actually encouraging to read that most people have had the opposite experience. Like I said, we love going up to London. It's a 50 min drive or less on the train from home.
I think we were just very unlucky last Saturday. My husband commented that there were a lot of 'characters' about that day. I'm sure there always are but you when it's more obvious.

With my son on the escalator, we were over to the right as much as possible but he has adhd and I had to hold his hand too. Obviously nobody else would know that, understandably. I just thought it was a bit rude that the man pushed past.

And the men in the lift... actually yes, they were apologetic for smoking in there to be fair and warning us. However, omg the smell of whatever it was, was overwhelming. Just annoying when that was the one lift we had no choice but to use with a pram etc.

Also, admittedly, we didn't ask anyone for their seat. Looking around the dlr trains last Saturday afternoon, I wouldn't have said many people looked that approachable. I know that makes me sound like a wimp but I think I would have been a bit nervous to ask some people. Does anyone else get that?

I have genuinely never experienced this. I often come to London with DD and a fuckton of luggage and people are invariably helpful. Men rushing down the stairs to the tube will stop and offer to help etc. Staff are enduringly patient with tourists.

We always comment how kind people are compared to where we are coming from and how pleasant it is.

London is now a cesspit .

I hope it doesn't put you off getting the train into London, the less people driving the better

Effort to turn this into a bun fight = 3/10. Too obvious.

I presume I was in his way on the platform.

Surely you know, in Ireland nursing a baby often means comforting and holding, not breastfeeding

To add, my dad is mobility impaired and if he doesn't have his stick, doesn't like to "make a fuss". He doesn't like the badge either. He comes from a rural area, so, different culture. I'm on the shy side but I'll still pick on someone and say, "listen, my father is not good at standing for too long, could he have your seat?" and they usually oblige. Even the scary-looking ones OP.

We’re in London a lot with kids and with work. It’s the usual mixed bag. I do think the DLR can be a bit more dodgy though. I don’t like the stations at night and the lifts are often completely grim. A local woman was chatting to me about how she needs to use the stairs because of how the lifts get used now, she was really upset about it. She said it’s much worse since covid. Not sure why.
that said, I wouldn’t use the lift up from our (rural ish) bus station either…so men are rank everywhere! Just more obvious when it’s a city?

I think this is more about the way you felt, OP, than the behaviour of others. Regarding the escalator, I once held the hand of a small child going down the escalator while his mother carried the baby. She simply asked me to help. Might be a solution for you another time?

No, in general people are considerate. Unusually so compared to most global cities, in fact. If you’re an out-of-towner not used to hustle and bustle it may seem like people are rude, I suppose.

Yep, pretty much. London is a busy place. Lots of ppl on the move, from just about everywhere in the world.

@HavfrueDenizKisi no, not at all. Essex has a fair number of arseholes 😂

But we generally just had an unfortunate day I think. Hopefully next time will be better because I love London. And public transport aside, I've not come across loads of unfriendly people during a visit.

It's always been a cesspit. But it's our cesspit and we love it.

Rightly or wrongly people are in their own little world on public transport listening to music/podcasts, reading etc. But I have never seen anyone refuse to give up a seat if someone with a bigger need asked for it

So in that case YABU OP and how do you know the people were not approachable, you didn’t ask? You have made a judgement on people that could have been the friendliest people even if in your eyes they didn’t look quite right

It won’t be for everyone but yes plenty of us love London

You just have to hold your own and be claim you’re space really - it’s a busy place and people are always in a rush. I find i sort of zone out because the whole experience is crap but if I zone out a bit I get through it 😂😂

I have to commute with my 18month old daily and it’s a bit shit but gotten used to it - I ask for help - I tell people to move out of the area for buggies/ wheelchairs so I can have the space.

if someone stands too near her or nearly whacks her with a bag which happens a lot I say something and ask them to move away!

i find I do have to be quite assertive!!

I t=don't think it's unfriendly, it's just brisk.

I have lived in London for 30 years.

The tube is a crowded and often stressful environment (lots of delays, busy trains) so people are often just focused on themselves and getting to their destination rather than having the opportunity to leisurely always consider the needs of others.

Pregnant women, someone who uses crutches, people with guide dogs and older people are usually offered seats by other passengers very quickly. You always find people willing to help carry prams up the stairs.

But I don't see why a woman with a baby in a pram or a young child needs special attention or a seat on a tube carriage. As an older woman with a bad back I would not give up my seat for you in this situation.

''A man pushed past to overtake us and walk down the escalator and nearly made ds topple over.''

I am not quite sure what you mean by that. If you use the tube escalators you always need to stand on the right so that people who want to walk up or down faster than you don't need to overtake or push you. There is more than enough space for them to use the steps on you right.

I think you need to adjust your expectations.

This should read ''use the steps on your left''....

Once I go through the gates into the London Underground network I take on a different persona.

I couldn't agree more with all of this.

With a baby in arms and a small child at her side holding her hand how can she keep over on the escalator?

Carrying a small child and holding another's hand - yea she does need a seat for safety

Glad I am rarely in London

Yes I agree op, I get the bus every day and people are so rude; when I had my pram other people with prams would literally push in front of me even though I was there first, the only time I ever seem to encounter rude people is when I use public transport. Took my kid’s on the tube walking through the station woman shouts at them “move!” They was walking not standing still blocking anywhere, also a man I was first at the barriers before him just by a couple of seconds and he did a massive sigh and went “seriously!🙄” and stormed off to another one

Oh and I live in London btw, but public transport seems to be the times I come across the most rudest people.