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AIBU?

To be so fed up of working full time and having so little disposable income?

177 replies

Coattailsfails · 10/10/2022 08:14

I know I’m not the only one in this position.

Single full time working mum to two primary aged children. I never stop. I’m exhausted all the time. Annual salary before deductions is just under £27k.
Ive now got £20 left for the next 8 days. We had a couple of unexpected expenses and it’s impossible for me to build up much of a buffer.
We have enough food, although may need milk and bread.
Ive probably got enough petrol if we are careful and walk as much as possible but I have to drive for my job. I can claim some back but it’s only monthly so I have the initial outlay and then have to wait for it to come back (as is the norm, I know but I could really do with it a bit earlier this month, it’ll be about £80).
We aren’t extravagant. But there’s just no let up to it, is there? I can’t think it’ll be better next month because it probably won’t! And dc1 needs school shoes 😩

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

479 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
6%
You are NOT being unreasonable
94%
brookln · 13/10/2022 04:24

I really think people should start having one child max. I can afford 3 now but I don't know what the future holds so I'm stopping at one.
This won't help the OP but this is a bigger picture...
I view two kids as a huge luxury whereas a lot of people see it as the 'norm'. It shouldn't be. It's freaking expensive to raise two children.

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oiltrader · 13/10/2022 04:42

no one is entitled to an easy life. sorry to hear your issues

do not go into debt. too many debt junkies over the last decade will soon have their comeuppance

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garlictwist · 13/10/2022 04:47

I am on a low wage but luckily my mortgage is currently pretty cheap (£300 a month). But once I've paid that and for bills I hardly have anything left. My washing machine broke yesterday and I have no way of buying a new one.

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lannistunut · 13/10/2022 05:33

brookln · 13/10/2022 04:24

I really think people should start having one child max. I can afford 3 now but I don't know what the future holds so I'm stopping at one.
This won't help the OP but this is a bigger picture...
I view two kids as a huge luxury whereas a lot of people see it as the 'norm'. It shouldn't be. It's freaking expensive to raise two children.

It is only too expensive because political choices make it so - housing, childcare and transport are all very expensive in the UK - Tory party choices.
If a society has got to the state where regular pro-social behaviour (education, work etc) does not allow for a family, something has to change as the model is broken.

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TabithaTittlemouse · 13/10/2022 06:42

oiltrader · 13/10/2022 04:42

no one is entitled to an easy life. sorry to hear your issues

do not go into debt. too many debt junkies over the last decade will soon have their comeuppance

Your post is bizarre. I don’t think people want to get into debt.

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Beezknees · 13/10/2022 06:46

oiltrader · 13/10/2022 04:42

no one is entitled to an easy life. sorry to hear your issues

do not go into debt. too many debt junkies over the last decade will soon have their comeuppance

Do you think people enjoy having debt?

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Beezknees · 13/10/2022 06:49

brookln · 13/10/2022 04:24

I really think people should start having one child max. I can afford 3 now but I don't know what the future holds so I'm stopping at one.
This won't help the OP but this is a bigger picture...
I view two kids as a huge luxury whereas a lot of people see it as the 'norm'. It shouldn't be. It's freaking expensive to raise two children.

The state of the economy has changed massively over the past 3 years. Absolutely nobody could have predicted Covid and then the energy bills rising so much. I only have one child, but I was a teen mum and his dad left when he was a baby so that's why. I don't think a working couple having 2 children should be a "luxury".

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itsnotdeep · 13/10/2022 07:29

£27K isn't a good salary - we are not paid enough in this country by a long way.

to the PP that made the comment about debt - people are getting into debt to pay for essentials. To pay their bills. This isn't a choice they are making.

@Coattailsfails I would suggest phoning Gingerbread or similar and asking them to do a check on what benefits you're entitled to. I would also suggest putting a claim into the CMS and claiming what you're entitled to from your DCs children. Sadly your situation is very common. You may be entitled to some help from your local authority - they will have a hardship fund, and they might be able to help you too. Your children's school shoes aren't a luxury.

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Hont1986 · 13/10/2022 07:42

Universal Credit for a single parent of two children on £27k would be around £665/m (at least in my area - it changes a bit based on your local market rent). You should definitely put in a claim.

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emmathedilemma · 13/10/2022 08:16

TammyOne · 10/10/2022 13:36

For those saying “ move North” I’m North and the average rent for a 2 bed house big enough for a family if 3 is £900-£1000 where I am ( Yano where there’s jobs) so not exactly cheap!

Oh yes, I love the “it’s cheap up north” comments. A 2 bed flat down the road from me is currently to rent for £1375 a month!

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PeachyIsThinking · 13/10/2022 08:31

Firstly, hugs. Struggling financially is an absolute grind.

Talk to your boss about petrol; they may not be able to help but might have some ideas. I was in a similar situation years ago with train tickets to London a few times a month (that added up to a few hundred pounds), and once I spoke up (not brave, was a result of a line manager trying to get me to buy his and claim them back as well) they realised what a drain it was and sorted out central buying: your employer might be able to help with a works credit card, advances etc.

Slightly useless but potentially cheering life hack- we buy petrol in Tesco and get Clubcard points, that’s our ‘cheer me up’ treats budget.

So get a benefits check up, turn 2 us website isn’t 100% but is a guide.

You are doing great, you really are. You should be proud of yourself.

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ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 13/10/2022 08:55

I’m north too.

A 3bed semi is worth 500k. Not sure about rents.

I think all cities in the North are quite expensive. Towns less so.

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Onesnowynight · 13/10/2022 09:33

I’m in the same boat as you OP. Waiting for fuel money to come at the end of the month is a killer. And yes I’ve asked but been told this is the only way it can be paid.

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Popgoestheweaselagain · 13/10/2022 13:49

brookln · 13/10/2022 04:24

I really think people should start having one child max. I can afford 3 now but I don't know what the future holds so I'm stopping at one.
This won't help the OP but this is a bigger picture...
I view two kids as a huge luxury whereas a lot of people see it as the 'norm'. It shouldn't be. It's freaking expensive to raise two children.

I agree with other posters. There's something wrong when a working family can't afford more than one or two children. Family planning was brought in so that women weren't having a child every year. I don't think the intention was ever that people would feel like it was a massive luxury to have two! When I was growing up 3 was very common. We had good schools, good local libraries, affordable housing, generous child benefit, community schemes making music and drama lessons affordable.

If only the super-rich can reproduce themselves, then what is society for? What's the point in any of it? Who are we going to hand it on to?

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thewrongcolourcup · 14/10/2022 06:15

Same boat here. Single mum and I’ve been working my way out of debts for the last few years. Ex was a horrific gambler.
I found using Monzo banking really changed and empowered me with money, making me know exactly what I have and what’s coming up.
I also take on extra work from my pay as a teacher.
I do cleaning jobs in my spare time which helps greatly.
I agree there is always something extra each month.
big hugs and it’s so tough, you aren’t alone.

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oiltrader · 14/10/2022 06:39

TabithaTittlemouse · 13/10/2022 06:42

Your post is bizarre. I don’t think people want to get into debt.

course they do. they want things now and pay on the never never. new sofas, holidays, cars, all on credit

the piper needs paying

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oiltrader · 14/10/2022 06:40

Beezknees · 13/10/2022 06:46

Do you think people enjoy having debt?

no but they enjoy the goods they buy with the debt

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mogsrus · 14/10/2022 11:19

My dear old gran used to say. It takes one minute to get into debt & a lifetime to get out of it. How true

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applecartsonthehill · 14/10/2022 12:56

Beezknees
Do you think people enjoy having debt?


no but they enjoy the goods they buy with the debt

That's only one possible way a person might be in debt, purchasing goods to enjoy.

The OP disappeared days ago, and didn't answer as to whether she was claiming universal credit.

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itsnotdeep · 14/10/2022 13:57

applecartsonthehill · 14/10/2022 12:56

Beezknees
Do you think people enjoy having debt?


no but they enjoy the goods they buy with the debt

That's only one possible way a person might be in debt, purchasing goods to enjoy.

The OP disappeared days ago, and didn't answer as to whether she was claiming universal credit.

no, you're wrong. People are getting into debt now just to pay their bills

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itsnotdeep · 14/10/2022 13:57

sorry , didn't read properly - I think that's what you're saying too!

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Blondeshavemorefun · 14/10/2022 14:11

Did you look into uc @Coattailsfails

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applecartsonthehill · 14/10/2022 17:00

itsnotdeep · 14/10/2022 13:57

sorry , didn't read properly - I think that's what you're saying too!

I was! The quotes are confusing to be fair.

Yes I agree that people are just getting into debt to make ends meet and because they no longer can.

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Happymumz · 28/05/2023 08:51

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Zippedydoo123 · 28/05/2023 09:14

Can you start using those food fair type places? Not sure of their name exactly but you do see it on the news. Going forward this may help somewhat. You pay a fiver I think it is and you get tea bags and other staple items in bulk.

I am sure you are aware of food bank s as an option but so far as I know you can only use them a certain number of times a year.

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