Firstly @Coattailsfails I’m so sorry that you’re in this situation.
You don’t put what part of the country you live in, but I assume that rents go down, the further from London?
When we left the UK, about 9-10 years ago, maybe a bit less, we lived in a fantastic 4 bed, 3 storey Georgian townhouse and our mortgage was £550 per month!
I’m reading this thread in shock at the prices you all pay and how little help you get if you’re in a situation where you’re bringing up children alone!
I’ve lived in a few different places and I’ve come back to this country after a 30 year gap! Being poor over here, from what I see, is easier than being poor in the UK! Being a hot country, you can walk down most streets and pick fruit off trees that overhang the fences. Scrumping basically!
The govt., over here also insists that if you’re in a situation where you’ve split up from your partner, 50/50 is the norm. This way, you are both responsible for schooling, clothes, toys, activities or whatever, because was soon as you sign the child up for anything, you have to give the other parents details and half the bill is sent to them, and their responsibility! Reduced your work hours because you don’t want to pay for the children? No entitlement to benefits, unless your employer made those changes and the unions would go after the employer with a vengeance!
Everything is pretty well regulated over here, in terms of not being able to do the things that I see happening in the UK and benefits are more than liveable if you don’t have a job. When we first arrived back, we didn’t have jobs and it was sweltering, so we would go and sit in the shopping mall or library and do our job search - didn’t have to pay for our own air-con! And bizarrely, the shopping malls must know people do this as chairs and tables are set out to sit down on!
Even living in the suburbs of a city, you get to know people pretty well and there’s always a farmer to buy eggs or meat from, a lot cheaper than the supermarket. We both work and our colleagues always bring in extraneous goods, such as bags of lemons, apples, mandarins, basil, etc., etc., for people to take.
We didn’t have a pandemic as such as our little place was pretty much closed off, but toilet roll etc., still flew off the shelves! People would bring their extra toilet roll, dry goods etc., to work to share out.
I just said to DH (we work shifts as we are essential workers) that I can’t believe that you’re in this situation. He’s only ever lived in the UK and he did some quick mental maths and told me that you earn quite a good wage!
But the rent is so high and the ex is a real nasty piece of work.
You should do week about with him, where you have the children this week, he has them the next week! Let him buy shoes and glasses! If he’s not a bad father, I think that even not having the children every other week, would be a win for you as you would save on the things you usually buy for them. Let him see if he can provide for the children on £100 per month when he only has them for 2 weeks out of 4!
With regards to the tyre, did you just have the puncture fixed? Because £80 seems like a lot, but then maybe with inflation, it’s gone up since we left.
I wish there was more I could do, but I live so far as to make any offer redundant. Please look in to the benefits etc., that the PP are telling you about and linking in for you. It might help a little!