My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To be so fed up of working full time and having so little disposable income?

177 replies

Coattailsfails · 10/10/2022 08:14

I know I’m not the only one in this position.

Single full time working mum to two primary aged children. I never stop. I’m exhausted all the time. Annual salary before deductions is just under £27k.
Ive now got £20 left for the next 8 days. We had a couple of unexpected expenses and it’s impossible for me to build up much of a buffer.
We have enough food, although may need milk and bread.
Ive probably got enough petrol if we are careful and walk as much as possible but I have to drive for my job. I can claim some back but it’s only monthly so I have the initial outlay and then have to wait for it to come back (as is the norm, I know but I could really do with it a bit earlier this month, it’ll be about £80).
We aren’t extravagant. But there’s just no let up to it, is there? I can’t think it’ll be better next month because it probably won’t! And dc1 needs school shoes 😩

OP posts:
Report

Am I being unreasonable?

479 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
6%
You are NOT being unreasonable
94%
sittingonacornflake · 10/10/2022 08:54

@Coattailsfails are you claiming UC?

Report
Hulahulahulahoop · 10/10/2022 08:55

£120 is not a massive rent unfortunately; it’s what i pay on a 2 bed in a London commuter town. Also recommend going through CMS as a first option; the issue isn’t your salary or even benefits it’s the children’s dad not taking responsibility for them

Report
HRTQueen · 10/10/2022 08:56

It’s miserable isn’t it op

a coffee at nearly £3 is just something when money is so tight that feels too frivolous to spend on

i would look at what benefits you are entitled too I would have thought something towards your rent

£100 a month he should be ashamed of himself how low does the bar have to be for men

Report
CecilyP · 10/10/2022 08:57

Wow, no wonder you’re struggling with that level of rent! It doesn’t leave much for everything else. Are you able to apply for housing benefit?

Report
Hulahulahulahoop · 10/10/2022 08:59

Urgh £1200 obviously

Report
RewildingAmbridge · 10/10/2022 09:00

If you are ok with managing credit can you get a 0% credit card, put your work expenses on there and pay it off when you get the money back? I don't do this anymore but used to when I travelled a lot for work, it kept things separate and I'd rather not be the one you essentially lend my employer the money for my travel. If you think you'd put other things on there obviously don't do it.
Just thinking this month you'd have an extra £80 in your pocket now

Report
Zebedee55 · 10/10/2022 09:02

Check your benefit entitlement, as there may be something you can claim:

benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/

Report
DoingJustFine · 10/10/2022 09:03

£150 a week for EVERYTHING else, after your rent. No wonder you're struggling. How are you even paying for gas and electricity? I'm so sorry.

  1. Definitely go on the entitledto website.
  2. Then go on Money Saving Expert and draw up a budget.
  3. Then chase up the CMS for an investigation.

    My ex is self employed and claims to earn £100 a week. I told CMS I had reason to believe he earned more, and they applied for an investigation. They found out he'd paid himself £50k in dividends!
Report
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 10/10/2022 09:04

www.entitledto.co.uk/

Put your info in here. I did a quick and dirty calc based on the info in your posts and it looks like you would be entitled to some help.

Report
HeavensEmbroideredCloths · 10/10/2022 09:08

Unless someone is a high earner it’s always going to be difficult being a single parent and even then there is the mental load that’s not shared. But your ex is paying so little, I see he dropped hours , is he paying the right amount for what he earns and was it agreed between you two and not through CMS?

Report
LateAF · 10/10/2022 09:12

Sciurus83 · 10/10/2022 08:52

Oh wow £1200 is a massive rent, has it gone up a lot recently?

Yes unfortunately that’s the reality of the rental market at the moment. Where I live, 2 bed maisonette rents that were previously around £1200 per month now go on the market for at least £1800 per month. God knows what they actually go for when people are desperate enough to do bidding wars.

Report
Iamclearlyamug · 10/10/2022 09:16

Definitely have a look and see if you're entitled to any UC - I really think you would be with 2 children and rent that high

Report
Ginandthings · 10/10/2022 09:23

Definitely check if you’re entitled to any UC, also recommend a 0% credit card if you can get one - set the limit low enough to remove temptation to put other stuff on there and only use it for work.
Also check if you can get any tax relief, if you wear a uniform and wash it yourself then you can get tax relief on that and there are quite a few other bits. Does work just pay your fuel or do you get mileage, if they’re only playing fuel ask about mileage rates as that’s designed to cover wear and tear on your car as well

Report
Aprilx · 10/10/2022 09:25

Oh my goodness that rent is a killer. If my rent was taking up two thirds of my income, I would really have to look at making some drastic changes such as moving to a much cheaper part of the country. I know that won’t solve the immediate eight day problem, but it needs tackling somehow.

Report
Popgoestheweaselagain · 10/10/2022 09:31

YANBAA. Those are all things you need. It's not like you're being extravagant. I don't get the 'get a better job' advice. I mean, who sits around in a sht job thinking 'oh, I could get a better paid job tomorrow, but I just couldn't be ased because I can pay my heating bill on this one'.

Report
CrapBucket · 10/10/2022 09:37

Yanbu. You are being amazing. It is really tough, I get it. I'm also a single mum, but now mine are teens, I have taken on a Saturday job as well as a normal full time and a sneaky cash in hand one. Its exhausting - but worrying about budgeting is equally exhausting.

You are doing brilliantly despite everything. I know its tiring. It won't always be like this. [Flowers]

Report
LakieLady · 10/10/2022 09:39

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 10/10/2022 09:04

www.entitledto.co.uk/

Put your info in here. I did a quick and dirty calc based on the info in your posts and it looks like you would be entitled to some help.

I agree, just doing a back of a fag packet calculation based on the elements/allowances, I think OP could well be entitled to some help.

Report
FiveMins · 10/10/2022 09:42

It is disgusting. The cost of housing in the UK has been manipulates so that it benefits the well off. Your ex is also a bastard.
Please look at benefits you may be entitled to.

Report
LakieLady · 10/10/2022 09:45

Hulahulahulahoop · 10/10/2022 08:55

£120 is not a massive rent unfortunately; it’s what i pay on a 2 bed in a London commuter town. Also recommend going through CMS as a first option; the issue isn’t your salary or even benefits it’s the children’s dad not taking responsibility for them

Absolutely this. I'm 50 miles from London, and it's getting really hard to find a 2-bed property for less than £1200 a month.

Report
surlycurly · 10/10/2022 09:49

Another single parent here, who also gets nothing from my ex, and can I just tell you how proud I am of you. It would be the easiest thing in the world for you to give in, chuck your job and make yourself the government's problem but you're not. You're working hard and setting a great example. You're also managing on virtually nothing. I've have to get a second job to keep afloat but at least I know I've done it all myself. Good on you. Wish I could buy you a coffee or some flowers!!

Report
Popgoestheweaselagain · 10/10/2022 09:50

Who are the 6% who think she's being unreasonable for being upset she works full time and can't afford school shoes for her kids?

Report
TheSausageKingofChicago · 10/10/2022 09:53

I honestly don’t know how you’re managing OP. I’m in the same boat almost, £30k before tax, and I struggle to get through the month. My ex also pays £500 and my mortgage is lower than your rent. There just isn’t room for manoeuvre when someone has a birthday, or needs school uniform, or the car needs repairs/service or any of the other £150ish costs that seem to come month in month out.
It’s easy to look at income:outgoings and think ‘well there’s £300 left after everything’ but then a letter comes home for a school trip, or you try to chip away at Christmas shopping, and it’s all gone. It’s shit.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 10/10/2022 09:53

catfunk · 10/10/2022 08:34

That is shit op. 27k after tax isn't a bad salary either, it's madness that people are struggling on that.
I'd also suggest a benefits calculator to see if you're missing out on any help.

It's before tax. So about 1700 a month?

Report
Jmaho · 10/10/2022 09:58

Wow that must be an unbelievable struggle to be paying that much rent on that take home. Do you not qualify for any help?

Report
Kentgirl2525 · 10/10/2022 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.