Embarrassed in Wilkinson's ...aibu?

[cursethenroomstick]

My house I rent through housing association.
I work full time and pay my rent myself,don't claim benefits (not that anything is wrong with that,I just know people can be a bit judgemental)
Anyway my housing association did some works on my house and made such a mess.
Anyway I was given decorating vouchers to use in wilkos.
On my letter from HA it states paint,paper,soft furnishings ,rugs etc
So I got my paints etc and spotted a lovely little rug on sale for £15.
Got to the till she scanned my items and I said I was paying with my decorating card.
She snapped "you can't buy rugs it's for paint only"
I said I have my letter..she grabbed letter and scanned it
Then shouted over (whilst massive queue behind me)
You can't buy rugs can you with this free DSS voucher (not sure what DSS means ,maybe housing tenant?)
The woman on the other till said you could
She then shouts back "bloody hell thought it was just for paint ...rugs and rolled her eyes"

Aibu to think there's just no need ?
I felt so embarrassed
I pay for everything myself and the only reason I got these vouchers was because the HA made such a mess.
Im embarrassed to go back in there again now

No, that's absolutely awful.

It's immaterial whether you are 'DSS' or not. J.C., people who are 'DSS' are disabled, carers, seeking work. Don't they deserve to have rugs on their floors?

Sit down when you have time and write a letter to the manager of the store about it (and CC it higher if you want), explaining your own circumstances but also stressing that this doll's behaviour was unacceptable in any context. A phone call might be ignored or brushed away but a written complaint will carry more weight.

That’s terrible customer service and bitchy at that! I would actually complain in person to the manager for that.

Don’t let them make you feel embarrassed and lose a resource because of them!

I'd definitely complain if it's like you said, that's disgusting and there's just no need
None of her fucking business what you buy with it if you're entitled to it!
Rude and unprofessional.

Complain to the store manager. She's probably a mumsnetter who thinks SH is free and needs told 🙄

This says far more about the cashier than it does about you, OP. What kind of person thinks it is acceptable to try snd shame someone publicly, like she did.

Please don't feel embarrassed and do complain to Wilkinson. Hope your new decorating looks lovely.

DSS is the old name - like 1980s old - for The Benefits Agency. It was the Department of Social Security. She was being very rude by using that to describe your vouchers.

She was lumping the vouchers into a negative 'benefits scrounger' type stereotype. You should definitely complain.

How awful for you, what's wrong with people these days?

@cursethenroomstick that’s horrible and it doesn’t matter who you are or how you pay, it is not for anyone to judge. Even if they have a low opinion of a customer the cashier needs to keep that to herself. Let Wilkinson know and also yes, the HA. I’m so sorry you felt like that.

I hope you do complain, she was out of order.

Sadly though in my experience when I worked in retail, customers that complained were really just taken as joke. Our managers would make the right noises with the customer but behind their back they'd be taken the piss out of.

In retail there's definitely an 'us and them' attitude.

There was no need for her to do that. No need for you to be embarrassed though OP. You did nothing wrong.

Well done @saraclara this is exactly it and was thinking how to word it, you have it spot on.

Complain! I had a worker in the co-op shout across the store to ask if there were anymore pregnancy tests on the shelf as they were coming up the wrong price for me. With a queue of people behind me. Then when I went to leave she said ‘I hope it’s negative for you’ I was 20’s so perhaps she just thought that’s what I wanted (it wasn’t what I wanted) but regardless thoughtless comment and so embarrassing.

Some people just do not care less about who they make feel uncomfortable. Defo get a complaint in!

I think this is no big deal. Are you ashamed of people knowing you live in a housing association house?

Wheres your source for that statement? 🤔

I was once treated like shit on the shoe of a locum gp because she made an assumption about my socio economic status.

It’s such a shock when you’re used to a level of respect. But it’s absolutely horrible to think that people who are already having a hard time might have to deal with this kind of attitude routinely.

I don’t think you can derive anyone’s personality traits on the basis of benefits, but you can certainly tell a lot about people who prey on those they think are weaker than themselves.

100% complain.

The last post reminds me of when you go to get a prescription at the pharmacy. As you hand it over they ask you if you pay for your prescriptions. I say ‘yes’ and at that point often find the assistant becomes more friendly or treats me with more respect. If it had happened once or twice, I’d think I was imagining it, but having collected prescriptions for over 30 years, I think it’s pretty regular and standard.

The pharmacies I go to often struggle to get staff. Some of those working in them will be extremely low paid and is often the case with people who are one stage up from qualifying for the benefits or free prescriptions themselves, can be judgemental of those who do qualify. The pharmacists themselves who perhaps isn’t so close to it all, just seem to treat everyone the same.

Perhaps GPS and indeed pharmacists and those in some other particular roles see more people who are in need and sadly do build up preconceptions about ‘types’ of people and treat differently. It’s offensive to those who are treated less well and in the categories that qualify for help, but it’s also often noticeable to others too in ways that aren’t always totally tangible or easy to pin down and voice in order to point it out to those concerned. Sadly, more widespread than we’d like to think I imagine.

I didn't get that impression from the OP's post, personally.

So if you were at the checkout and the employee there shouted out across the store that they didn't think you were allowed to buy a particular item, in other words you were trying to get away with something you weren't allowed to have...

You'd be fine about that?

Because thats what this is.

The vouchers usually have restrictions on what you can buy with them, it varies between Local Authorites and stores - 20 ish years ago when I had some for decorating my council house that had been trashed (they were effectively bribing me to take it with extra vouchers, no one wanted it!), I got the same treatment from a loud judgemental bitch in B&Q.

First she yelled 'You can't buy ladders on a DSS Voucher can you Maureen?' across the store..

Then it was 'ERE SHE'S GOT MORE THAN ONE VOUCHER, IS THAT ALLOWED MAUREEN...' (I do not know if Maureen was the voucher expert or just the only other person there!)...

I had a covering letter that detailed the amount and items that were not usually allowed, which I showed her and she appeared to read, but she insisted on yelling it all at her mate three tills down anyway.

Her entire attitude was 'you're scum, you don't deserve to have these things, you're playing the system and up to no good'.

I did ask if she wanted to get the manager and I could show him my letter and she shut up and put my purchases through the till then, because she knew the manager would agree the covering letter did indeed allow me to buy what I wanted - she just wanted a shot at humiliating me.

This unfortunately isn't a one off, people using vouchers from council/housing association etc to buy decorating goods or items to replace those damaged by trades people have often been subjected to attempts at humiliation or just poor customer service as a direct consequence of using vouchers.

The decoration vouchers are to put right the damage the workmen do in your home you're perfectly entitled to them. I'm council and it used to be vouchers but now they put it right themselves, so we don't have to go to the shop now and do it ourselves.
The woman was being a snotty cow.
Definitely complain that's so rude of her, I'd have done the same as you and walked away bewildered at first.

Please share the details as if u are shy in will happily phone on ur behalf and give her a good talking to

The major trade credit insurers have withdrawn insurance on their orders this week. If their suppliers all want payment pro forma then it will be very difficult for them to survive.

I wasn't clear enough. I meant a link or source so I could read it myself.

You need to complain

Dss is benefits. Landlords and letting agents typically use the term. I'd definitely complain. Imagine if it was someone more vulnerable than yourself, attitudes like that could really harm someone.