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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Embarrassed in Wilkinson's ...aibu?

160 replies

cursethenroomstick · 08/10/2022 10:54

My house I rent through housing association.
I work full time and pay my rent myself,don't claim benefits (not that anything is wrong with that,I just know people can be a bit judgemental)
Anyway my housing association did some works on my house and made such a mess.
Anyway I was given decorating vouchers to use in wilkos.
On my letter from HA it states paint,paper,soft furnishings ,rugs etc
So I got my paints etc and spotted a lovely little rug on sale for £15.
Got to the till she scanned my items and I said I was paying with my decorating card.
She snapped "you can't buy rugs it's for paint only"
I said I have my letter..she grabbed letter and scanned it
Then shouted over (whilst massive queue behind me)
You can't buy rugs can you with this free DSS voucher (not sure what DSS means ,maybe housing tenant?)
The woman on the other till said you could
She then shouts back "bloody hell thought it was just for paint ...rugs and rolled her eyes"

Aibu to think there's just no need ?
I felt so embarrassed
I pay for everything myself and the only reason I got these vouchers was because the HA made such a mess.
Im embarrassed to go back in there again now

OP posts:
TastesLikeFlavourlessFizz · 08/10/2022 12:27

Ah please don’t let this make you feel bad, OP. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.

But yes, she’s a twat and you should absolutely complain about her behaviour.

Emotionalsupportviper · 08/10/2022 12:28

I got to the till and went to pay, about half way through scanning my vouchers (the tills are set up to know what products they can be used in and what they can’t) the cashier said “no, that’s enough now” and insisted I pay with cash for the rest of my items.

That's pretty disgusting @SummerBummers . She doesn't have the authority to police your shopping quantities. I wonder if it's a store policy that they don't accept over a certain value's worth? But if so it is wrong - apart from anything else many people must do monthly "big shops" just to save on transport costs.

Did you ask to speak to a manager? I'm not a complainer by nature, but I think I would have kicked off over this.

UWhatNow · 08/10/2022 12:28

“FWIW, people who do this kind of thing are usually struggling themselves. They are the kind of people who think benefit claimants/those living in social housing are getting too generous a deal and and somehow getting more than they are when working. It’s a widespread feeling amongst minimum wage earners.”

I thought this. She’s working in Wilkos on minimum wage and sees someone coming in paying for decorating stuff with what she perceives as benefits. The resentment is real. Her attitude is unprofessional and humiliating but I totally get why minimum wage earners who are probably on the bones of their arse themselves and get no help, get angry.

That said - not your fault and yes, you should complain. The way the market works and the benefits system is not your fault - maybe you should suggest to the manager that she write to her MP rather than inflicting her passive aggression onto paying customers.

BangingOn · 08/10/2022 12:36

Absolutely complain. Although Wilkos are on their way out of business, so the woman will likely be looking for a job soon.

Original poster
cursethenroomstick · 08/10/2022 12:39

I was just so embarrassed
I'm pretty shy/nervous to start with and get my words jumbled under pressure.
I was really excited to start decorating and getting my house nice again.
She was older yes -i would say late 50s maybe early 60s

OP posts:
StopStartStop · 08/10/2022 12:41

Complain, definitely. Absolutely unacceptable.
Makes you want to shout to the second member of staff, 'Is there anyone who could replace this ignorant thicko on the till?'

Motnight · 08/10/2022 12:42

Complain. That is horrible!

Octomore · 08/10/2022 12:44

I would complain. The DSS comment shows she was doing it to make a nasty point. She shouldn't be allowed to get away with that.

Octomore · 08/10/2022 12:47

Needmorelego · 08/10/2022 11:53

What a cow.
To be honest I would let it go. If you go to Wilko's again give her a smile and say "me again - but don't worry no vouchers this time" (to embarrass her).
As a former sales assistant sometimes vouchers do need to be doubled checked but she shouldn't have done it that way.
Remember this though....99.9% of the other customers there wouldn't have even noticed this was happening so don't worry about what they think - or if they did notice I doubt they would care that you are using these vouchers.

She wasn't just checking though, was she? Shouting about DSS across the shop was a deliberate act, intended to humiliate. She was making a really unpleasant point about it.

MumUndone · 08/10/2022 12:49

She was a dick but probably didn't think. I doubt any of the customers knew (or cared) what she was saying though, I would have just been getting pissed off about the delay rather than judging you for using a voucher! So what I'm saying is, please don't be embarrassed, nobody else will be giving it a second thought.

HariboReckoning · 08/10/2022 12:50

Yeah, definitely complain. There are ways of checking which vouchers can be used for what without deliberate nastiness - that’s an unacceptable way to treat any customer.

girlmom21 · 08/10/2022 12:52

girlfriend44 · 08/10/2022 11:16

You should have asked to see the manager at the time. Why do ppl walk away and ask strangers.

This is massively hypocritical considering some of the threads you start.

OP definitely complain. I'm glad you got your lovely rug!

Clovacloud · 08/10/2022 12:54

Please complain, she was just being horrible. I used to work in social housing and we’d give those vouchers so people could set themselves up, decorate and buy the bits and bobs you need to start a home. That’s why they are Wilco’s vouchers!

Sorry you had such a bad experience.

VeridicalVagabond · 08/10/2022 12:54

I've worked in retail and know first hand how quickly it kills your humanity and turns you into a judgemental bitch. I also know that you have to keep that side of yourself to yourself, because it's not the average customer's fault that retail is soul destroying and awful.

She was horrible to you and very much deserves to be reprimanded for her behaviour. Please do complain, there's usually an email facility to do so on the website, or just go in and ask if it's possible to speak to a manager in person. So long as you don't shout and swear at the manager they'll hear you, if any of my staff had spoken to someone like this they'd be getting a right earful from me. Totally unacceptable.

LookItsMeAgain · 08/10/2022 12:55

I would complain.
Not in an irate way but to explain to the manager (store and area manager, complain to both) that their staff are clearly not properly trained. They don't know what the vouchers are for and what they cover, even when it is written on them. Shouting across to a colleague about a voucher (whether it would be the type you had or even a voucher from a magazine/newspaper or even a gift card type voucher) is not professional. She could easily have rung her till bell and got the attention of a supervisor if she wasn't sure whether the voucher covered all of your items or not, but she didn't.

They need to improve their processes and the only way they can do that is by feedback from their customers.

As someone else said - don't worry about being embarrassed. If there were others in the till, at least they were educated on what the vouchers cover and not 😉

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 08/10/2022 12:55

Are you sure it wasn't Liz Truss putting in a Saturday shift?

Needmorelego · 08/10/2022 12:56

@Octomore that's true - it sounds like she was being a general cow rather than checking.

KeepOutingMyselfAnotherNameChange · 08/10/2022 12:56

DSS was basically her saying your on benefits so get everything for nothing hence the free voucher. Defo complain.

simonthedog · 08/10/2022 12:57

I think you should make a complaint, that is terrible.

CuriousMama · 08/10/2022 12:57

What a bastard. Yes she's a jobsworth. Complain.

Octomore · 08/10/2022 12:59

You also don't have to be particularly old to know what DSS means, so plenty of the other customers will have known exactly what she meant, despite the term being outdated.

When I used to rent in the early 2000's, it wasn't uncommon to see rental properties advertised as "No DSS".

shooketh · 08/10/2022 13:00

KeepOutingMyselfAnotherNameChange · 08/10/2022 12:56

DSS was basically her saying your on benefits so get everything for nothing hence the free voucher. Defo complain.

No it wasn't.

MissingNashville · 08/10/2022 13:01

I don’t know why you’re embarrassed, unless you feel that people who had got these vouchers due to being on benefits are somehow lesser. If this happened to me I’d think she was rude and probably judgemental, but not embarrassed, because even if I did have vouchers due to bring on benefits or ‘DSS’, that’s nothing to be embarrassed of.

The woman embarrassed herself by snapping, grabbing and rolling her eyes. If she was meaning something negative by saying ‘DSS’ and I’m not doubting that she was, then again, she made herself look like a prick by judging others.

For you to feel embarrassed makes it sound like you think that would have been a problem and something to feel embarrassed by if it was true for you.

Report her for snapping and grabbing and if you think she was judging. But I think you need to look at your own attitude to those who may get these vouchers if they’re on low incomes on benefits.

Octomore · 08/10/2022 13:01

Which means her eye roll about the rug was intended to mean something along the lines of "Bloody dole scum, they don't deserve free rugs!"

I know you work OP, but that will have been her meaning and it was really horrible.

Octomore · 08/10/2022 13:03

shooketh · 08/10/2022 13:00

No it wasn't.

Show quote history

So why do you think she said it?

Bear in mind that the voucher was not a DSS voucher. So she wasn't prompted to call it that by anything on the voucher.

DSS used to be used as an insult, and clearly still is. It's a bit like terms for disabilities that are used as insults - people don't do it innocently by accident.