Embarrassed in Wilkinson's ...aibu?

[cursethenroomstick]

My house I rent through housing association.
I work full time and pay my rent myself,don't claim benefits (not that anything is wrong with that,I just know people can be a bit judgemental)
Anyway my housing association did some works on my house and made such a mess.
Anyway I was given decorating vouchers to use in wilkos.
On my letter from HA it states paint,paper,soft furnishings ,rugs etc
So I got my paints etc and spotted a lovely little rug on sale for £15.
Got to the till she scanned my items and I said I was paying with my decorating card.
She snapped "you can't buy rugs it's for paint only"
I said I have my letter..she grabbed letter and scanned it
Then shouted over (whilst massive queue behind me)
You can't buy rugs can you with this free DSS voucher (not sure what DSS means ,maybe housing tenant?)
The woman on the other till said you could
She then shouts back "bloody hell thought it was just for paint ...rugs and rolled her eyes"

Aibu to think there's just no need ?
I felt so embarrassed
I pay for everything myself and the only reason I got these vouchers was because the HA made such a mess.
Im embarrassed to go back in there again now

She sounds like a nasty, judgemental cow and I'm sorry you had to go through that. I agree with those saying complain, she needs pulling up on her attitude. Sounds like she has a bad attitude towards those who are entitled to a bit of help, and if so then she's likely to behave this way again towards future customers.

I can believe that there are people saying that the issue here is the OP's attitude to benefits. Bonkers.

So sorry you were treated that way. Definitely complain. You deserve to have a nice house xx

DSS is Department of Social Security, which was abolished in 2001, but she thinks it's a state benefit and she's clearly treating you differently to other customers because of that. It's probably also the type of voucher that people are given if they are experiencing hardship and are unable to afford basic new furnishing when they are homed by the housing association. I would definitely complain. There's case law that it's illegal to discriminate against people on benefits when allocating housing. It's not much of a stretch to call this indirect discrimination too. Imagine how you would have felt in that situation if you were a DV survivor who had that voucher because you'd lost everything. Worth complaining for that reason alone!

Complain to your housing association too. They are a charity with a remit to support their tenants and this was compensation to you for something they got wrong. They need to know how their suppliers are treating their tenants.

I get that you're posting in support of the OP, as have I, but parts of your post sound very prejudiced with a lot of knee-jerk assumptions about this person you know. Does putting 'depression' and 'bad back' in quotes suggest only that you suspect this particular person of swinging the lead, or are you making a wider point about what you perceive to be the the authenticity of these conditions? (Incidentally, people with clinical depression are indeed often 'miserable'. Just saying.)

The DSS became the DWP several years ago now but a lot of people still use the term like they still use "council house" . I would complain to Head Office, send a copy of the till receipt so they can see who served you. Detail exactly what she said and how it made you feel.

She needs extra training clearly.

She sounds like she embarrassed you and that was unkind and unnecessary. Try to forget it now and just focus on the lovely rug and paint you have and don't let it spoil it for you.

'Handouts'?

The key point is that this behaviour could be upsetting and humiliating for anyone with those vouchers. That’s why it’s not acceptable.

No-one who has those Copp vouchers for whatever reason NEEDS to feel sensitive and upset, BUT many people who have them will be sensitive about it. Acknowledging that, even if you wouldn’t feel sensitive to such comments made by the assistant in Wilkos is important.

People feel sensitive about anything they feel marks them out as ‘poor’ or paying by different methods. Children on free school meals used to feel stigmatised by things like having to go in a different queue for lunch or having to hand over a voucher. People using vouchers for pregnant ladies with low incomes have felt humiliated in supermarkets when shop assistants haven’t been familiar with the vouchers and needed to call for help. People at food banks often feel a sense of shame or humiliation, even when people don’t do stuff like the woman at Wilkos did and even when they are kind and don’t draw attention to it. Quite simply, people can feel very sensitive and that needs to be acknowledged and steps taken to handle the situations carefully.

The people who feel sensitive and humiliated are the very least likely, in the middle of their feeling if humiliation to make a stand and call a shop assistant out on their behaviour. They will want to exit as fast as possible and escape. You’d have hoped someone in the queue behind might have called the assistant out on their behaviour or reported it to management, but few people will do this. But more should.

OP isn’t suggesting she views people who have the vouchers as a form of benefit as anyway lesser than herself. In fact she states that clearly. What she’s saying is this made her feel terrible and knows it could make someone who has the vouchers for benefits reasons feel terrible too.

Business and charities and other organisations need to think really carefully about how they practically manage and train staff to deal with those who might be entitled to use vouchers or access free services or discounted products. Managing things so the customer doesn’t have to go through a detailed explanation in public or wait for staff to get up to speed is really important. Without this stuff, stigma remains and people won’t access the services they are entitled to. And that’s a major problem.

Normally I say ‘meh’ but in this instant complain

OP, I would also definitely complain. It was unnecessary, unkind and just plain rude.

I'm an acquaintance of Lisa Wilkinson ( chairperson and co-owner of Wilko) and she would be horrified. Her email is [email protected].

Definitely complain and if it was me I would put her manager and head office in the email. That was her way of attempting to shams you, not that you have anything to be ashamed of. Terrible service and she deserves to be spoken to about it.

Thanks for saying this. That post made me feel very uncomfortable but I was struggling to put it in words

She sounds very judgmental and I would complain.
Its absolutely none of her business to shout about.

I'd complain. I had a similar incident in Aldi when my son was entitled to school vouchers. I had the cashier stand up and loudly check my shopping for "luxuries and alcohol". I put her straight right there and then. I was spending about £80, the voucher was for £15 and I was paying for things for food items for my son separately with the voucher. What an absolute fucking nerve.

Does she like you giving out her email online? I would drop contact with someone who handed out my work email on forums.

Wilko have a complaints dept, I'm sure they can handle it.

@Octomore there is always someone who comes along and tries to make an issue when there is not one. I also didn't say we were friends so no reason for you to be so dramatic.

It is not her personal email, it is in the public domain and freely available, so as I say it is a non-issue.

Please do complain.

Just try to remember the problem was her, nothing you had done. If I'd have been in the queue behind you I'd have been thinking what a nasty bitch she was, and not looking at you or your shopping.

Coincidentally I had an off experience in Wilkos this week too. The till woman made a comment about the garden bird food I was buying and made further comments about a customer that had bought two big bags of bird seed earlier - kind of implying there was something wrong with folk buying food for birds. If you shopped in a small seaside town beginning with C we might have encountered the same judgy bitter madam!

I hope you didn’t pay in cash for the rest of your purchases, which were covered by your vouchers.

I can be easily embarrassed, but that is one situation I would insist on the manager being called, partly because I would be so angry but mainly because I have been in a situation like that and wouldn’t have the cash (or card) to pay for the goods!

Wow that’s unacceptable. Everyone is treated equally and you should not be made to feel like this. Complain and shop elsewhere. Oh and hugs x

The till code should identify her.

Op send a photo of the receipt when you complain. And do complain. Many years ago I was given one of these vouchers when I left a DV relationship. It was for Homebase. The man that served me was a lovely kind gentleman who also gave me advice on decorating as I had no clue. If I had been treated like this I would have taken it quite badly as I wasn't in a good place.

I would 100% complain

OP isn’t suggesting she views people who have the vouchers as a form of benefit as anyway lesser than herself. In fact she states that clearly.

OP stated it, but the rest of the post tells a different story.

It’s a bit like those people that say ‘I’m not homophobic/racist but........followed by a subtle or covert homophobic/racist remark.

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

She's a wanker. Write to Wilko and complain.