AIBU to think MN enables obsessive hygiene

[Cheeselog]

And wonder what we can do to stop it?

When I was a teenager and suffering from an eating disorder I sought out ‘pro-ana’ material on Tumblr, which has rightfully been banned on many sites as it essentially encourages people to give in to their disorder instead of challenging it.

I can’t help but feel the regular threads where people declare if you don’t wash your hands/ shower/ change your sheets/ change your clothes/ deep clean your toilet every 15 minutes or whatever then you are GRIM are the equivalent for people with hygiene-focused OCD (and other threads do the same for health anxiety) - these threads validate and normalise obsessive behaviours.

IMO this content is just as bad for individuals as my pro-ED content was. How can we stop this and make MN a safer environment for people who are suffering from or susceptible to these illnesses?

I think hand washing after using the toilet and washing sheets either once a week or fortnight and a daily shower is the pretty standard MN consensus? I don’t think anyone with that level of hygiene could be described as obsessive?

regular threads where people declare if you don’t wash your hands/ shower/ change your sheets/ change your clothes/ deep clean your toilet every 15 minutes or whatever then you are GRIM

That doesn’t happen though.

I’ve been on MN a very long time and have never seen this to the level you’re discussing.

In fact, I see the opposite and often competitive “I change my bedding once a month” posts.

So you want to stop people saying they wash their sheets once a week or twice a week ?

I think that’s quite an extreme claim.

The ‘hygiene’ threads on MN are always a lively mix of the entire spectrum of human attitudes towards cleanliness.

It’s a massive stretch to compare them to ‘pro Ana’ stuff.

I don’t know what the solution is. But as you say @Whadda there is a competitive element to many of the threads - just as there is to pro-ED content. I don’t think the vibe and frequency of discussion of these topics is healthy.

Washing your hands after using the loo is far from obsessive (if that’s what’s sparked this thread?)

washing sheets and towels every weeks appears to be pretty much the norm on here.

I do agree that people often wash clothes far too often, jeans etc.

I agree OP, Mumsnet often descends into a ridiculous competition on cleaning and also eating. There is always someone who washes their bedding every day, showers three times a day and survives off sunlight and a gallon of water a day. I doubt most of it is true but am not sure what you can do to stop it on a forum like this.

@MrsSkylerWhite it was partly sparked by being called grubby and grim for not washing my hands every time I come in from anywhere despite not having touched anything, and partly thinking about a(nother) family member who has recently been diagnosed with OCD and a discussion I had about not enabling the compulsions but helping them to challenge the underlying thinking instead.

I read many a mumsnet thread and I shudder at the… for want of a better word… scariness of so many posters, seemingly revelling in living in a bit of a shithole

Scariness should read scabiness! (Although I do find it scary actually!)

YANBU op. The threads aren't so frequent now what with the cost of living but yes the competitive cleaning threads are bananas.

People who wash all their towels and clothes after one use and instead of thinking that maybe they have a problem with excessive cleaning everyone else is declared to be 'grim' and 'vile'. And before someone states the obvious yet some items like underwear should be washed every time.

It’s absolutely none of your business how I or anyone else approaches their personal and household hygiene. You’re not the hygiene police.

Realistically if somebody has that kind of issue they’ll just obsessively read Marie Kondo or watch YouTube ‘clean with me’ videos or follow Mrs Hinch or watch home makeover shows and so on and so forth. Nobody has obsessive disorders because somebody on mumsnet said it’s grim not to wash your hands after going to the toilet/gross to only change your sheets twice a year.

As I’m sure that you know if someone is already struggling they will seek out information and make it fit their narrative. If they can’t read about changing bedding or washing hands on here they will find it elsewhere. At least on here there are a mix of the ott cleaners and the not so clean.

Did pro ana being banned from tumblr cure your eating disorder or did you look elsewhere?

People wash pjs every day - I’ve seen that several times - think of all that soap powder ( of course it’s detergent made from chemicals) being poured onto the planet daily.
Environmentally it’s bad.

Totally with you OP. People on here regularly indicate and use against others a completely unhealthy level of cleanliness. I always feel sorry for them but they are so satisfied that they are ‘cleaner’ than others and it’s ‘better’.

The hygiene itself isn’t the point of this thread. I’m concerned that MN has created an environment that allows threads which are damaging to some posters’ mental well-being in that they enable or validate symptoms of their mental illness.

If you want to find obsessive content you will. MN is not the place that springs to mind. I think most posts on cleanliness are what the average person is genuinely doing, changing beds weekly and washing hands after using the loo, etc. The outliers are obvious.

I can’t help but feel the regular threads where people declare if you don’t wash your hands/ shower/ change your sheets/ change your clothes/ deep clean your toilet every 15 minutes or whatever then you are GRIM are the equivalent for people with hygiene-focused OCD

Oh please. People start threads and others reply. Changing your sheets every 7-10 days is considered the norm, as is washing your hands and washing regularly.

Nobody is getting ocd from other people having good hygiene. Why do you feel the need to resort to such hyperbole - is the truth not convincing enough for people to side with you?

I don’t think I’ve noticed anything like this. People are just sharing their views. They all are different, live in different circumstances so they approach household/ hygiene tasks differently. I actually found these exchanges very useful, it’s good to look at various perspectives.
And it also shows how some things look from the outside e.g people often don’t realize that they smell and it affects others.

Bollocks is it.

Washing hands yes. But the rest no.

Lots of posters do say that's too often from a hygiene, ecological and cost perspective.

However generally speaking they are less in number saying it vocally because to do so is to get jumped on and say 'it's dirty'.

There isn't an agreed consensus. There is a more vocal group of clean freaks.

The two are not the same thing.

If you were to do an anonymous survey of MN users especially if its adjusted for demographics, I'm willing to bet the consensus opinion won't be as often as that.

Obsessive cleanliness is not likely to kill the sufferer though so it's not really reasonable to put it on par with pro ana stuff. It wouldn't be very reasonable either to ban people from talking about cleaning just because it might upset some people with OCD cleaning disorders- those people kind of have a responsibility to not seek out that content, it's not the responsibility of the entire site to shelter them from it.

I think you should link the original thread @Cheeselog and also the picture of your ‘dry, cracked hands’ (that are none of those things) that was one of your many excuses for not washing your hands, and let people make up their minds after they’ve read it all.

The most extreme showing opinion is twice daily, a far cry from your estimate of 15 minutes. Generally those people complete they're particular with hygiene/sweat easily etc. Showering daily and changing sheets weekly is not indicative of ocd or comparable to pro ana.

Yes that's me!! MN would definitely find my level of cleanliness scabby (or maybe scary? - it's a million times better for the environment and my lungs/immune system though than all the nasty chemicals everyone douses everything in.