AIBU to think MN enables obsessive hygiene

[Cheeselog]

And wonder what we can do to stop it?

When I was a teenager and suffering from an eating disorder I sought out ‘pro-ana’ material on Tumblr, which has rightfully been banned on many sites as it essentially encourages people to give in to their disorder instead of challenging it.

I can’t help but feel the regular threads where people declare if you don’t wash your hands/ shower/ change your sheets/ change your clothes/ deep clean your toilet every 15 minutes or whatever then you are GRIM are the equivalent for people with hygiene-focused OCD (and other threads do the same for health anxiety) - these threads validate and normalise obsessive behaviours.

IMO this content is just as bad for individuals as my pro-ED content was. How can we stop this and make MN a safer environment for people who are suffering from or susceptible to these illnesses?

I recovered eventually but I could not have done so whilst still accessing that content. I did not find it elsewhere, fortunately.

@RedToothBrush but MN is anonymous forum already?

Do people really not understand the concept of hyperbole? The OP was using a ridiculous extreme to make a point.

Just because OCD does not lead directly to death, does not mean we don't need to be mindful of it. I don't think we need to ban these threads but I was hoping to have a discussion about how we can improve the culture of MN.

YABU.
I've never seen a thread about cleaning which doesn't have a mix of views, often quite robustly expressed. You could equally well say that MN 'enables' lax hygiene standards.

But you could say the same about most topics really - there are always people who take things to an extreme level!

I personally enjoy reading some of the housekeeping etc threads as they encourage me to get off mumsnet and sort out my house…

Do you think this post is emblematic of a psychologically healthy forum climate?

I agree op, time and again there is competitive hygiene threads in here. I am a lifelong ocd sufferer and now after years of therapy i can see whats normal hygiene practice and what's over the top obsessive and abnormal cleaning. Yet on here threads can stand with posters encouraging each other to be more obsessive and irrational than the next person. And yes some of it is incredibly over the top.

Anonymous yes. But its also self selecting too.

The thing about it, is it's not enough of an issue for people to stick head over parapet and go against the grain or for regulars to bother with a name change in the way they would for things they feel passionate about.

Its more of a roll your eyes and scroll on to another thread subject.

Ultimately we are seeing a change here too, as economics make the latter two a luxury behaviour, so it's more acceptable to admit to sheets less often or showers less than daily.

Its one of those subjects which tends to punch down as a status symbol of economic well-being. Its not worth the time or energy for most to challenge.

Just because OCD does not lead directly to death, does not mean we don't need to be mindful of it. I don't think we need to ban these threads but I was hoping to have a discussion about how we can improve the culture of MN

But several people are arguing that there is nothing wrong with the culture of MN in this respect, so you're presupposing something that isn't actually a given.

You could say similar about many discussion topics. Is the sex board inappropriate because sex addiction exists? Is the conception board inappropriate because fertility issues exist?

If someone has OCD with compulsions to wash/clean, they should avoid such threads.

You can't stop it unfortunately.
I also feel sad for the Mothers who are pounced on if they allow their child to watch TV....MN can be a real nasty place at times.

The culture is that you have to PROVE you aren't a dirty slattern if you wash less regularly.

Truth is, different people need to wash different amounts as their body chemistry differs.

What works for some doesn't work for others. Science suggests over washing can cause various problems and doesn't necessarily make us healthier / less smelly.

I'm inclined to believe that these threads don't really reflect reality and don't really reflect research either. But it's not the type of thread to have a more high brow debate on the merits of less/more either.

Its very evangelical and I do think in that sense the OP has a point though I wouldn't go as far as to say it encourages OCD. I think people are too indifferent to that and as I say are more likely to eye roll and move on.

If you find it triggering just don't comment on those threads or unwatch them.

YABU.

Scruffs on here put their toilet brushes in their dishwasher.

Rotters

I posted about hygiene specifically because I find it is a weirdly emotive topic on here and threads come up in AIBU and chat regularly so it's not confined to a specialist board. I don't think the other topics are quite as bad, with the exception of the Covid threads/board particularly during the early pandemic for people with (health) anxiety. The problem is that if you are suffering from these issues, you don't avoid the threads. As PPs have said, people seek this content out - which is why this is such a tricky problem.

This is a TAAT: www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4649376-mil-wont-wash-her-hands?page=2&reply=120559361

Oh come on. Hyperbole. Showering daily and changing sheets weekly is v normal. People across the world living in slums with no water do it.

You are free to not click on those threads and shower as often as you want to.

To what end though? People are entitled to their opinions and entitled to clean however they like. It's no one else's responsibility to manage other people's mental health issues. Outside of censorship I don't know what you'd hope to accomplish really because people are always, always going to disagree with you, and continue to post about their cleaning habits, and they're entitled to do so.

I'm read them and im amazed at how many people who seem obsessed with germs. The recent thread about not lying on top of a bed with clothes on etc. I remember a child who came to play in our house and garden and she was so scared of getting dirty so couldn't relax. This is what happens to the children of these people.

In certain cultures from hot countries it is very normal to bathe daily, sometimes twice daily. Am going to argue that it is racist to police these discussions and triggering for me as a person from one of those cultures.

YABU. Hygienic standards are combination of culture standards, habits from family, personal preference and personal ability.

The daily shower, washing your hands, and changing sheets in some frequency is part of European (not only UK) cultural norm, so just following them isn't MH/OCD, it is just living lives.
Yes, some people have different preferences or needs (for example I see the daily shower/bath habit receding around small babies as it is known that it is better for their skin) and as long as it leads to expected outcomes (not being smelly around others and not spreading illnesses), people should be ok to do as they see fit.
BTW, refusing to wash your hands seems bit strange to me (do you really give that much headspace to continuous observation that you don't touch anything?).

I see MN as a place where we see many different approaches again and again and as a result people who just took over their family patterns have a chance to decide for themselves now.

It's not abnormal to shower every other day. Or even have a bath once a week though either.

And the use of the word normal does suggest other behaviours are abnormal.

There is a range of behaviour that falls within a consensus on MN.

Yes, true. I don't disagree with any of that. It would be good if we could try to take away some of the emotion and competitiveness from cleaning threads though which I think is what makes it unhealthy. I've turned to MN before to find out how to get a specific type of stain out - those threads are fine for example because they are so disinterested.

Sorry, are you calling me racist because I'm concerned about how these threads impact people's mental health?

As a sufferer I say sufferer but actually I’m quite happy of ocd the cleaning threads don’t make me any more or any less ocd. I want to clean my house the way I do , I want to wash the way I do, everything I do is because I choose to do it. Not because I’m influenced by online comments.