To want to look my age?!

[wingingit33]

I'm 34 and yet I look 14. Honestly. I'm sick of the stares and comments when I tell people I'm a mum of three and the eldest is 12.

I dress to my age. I think so anyway! My hair is always shoved up in a ponytail or mum bun otherwise the baby yanks it.

It's becoming a bore now though. Yes "I'll appreciate it when I'm older" blah blah but what can I do to look like the professional woman / mid thirties mum that I am!!?

Post a picture

I don't have this problem but if you really want to look older (and that's up to you) I would say drop the ponytail, maybe go to the hairdresser and ask for advice and also maybe look at your wardrobe choices as this can help. Most people look younger in a ponytail and jeans than they do with smart work clothes and styled hair

OP, I sympathise, and can’t bear the whole ‘stealth boast’/no way can anyone look decades younger than their real age’ posts from people on MN who always disbelieve the OP on threads like this.

I’m 45, and get this a lot too (not to the extent that people think I’m a teen, but at least 10 years younger is what people think I am). Professionally, it really gets me down - in client meetings I always dress a bit older and more polished, as I get the impression that no one ever thinks I’m the Director.

I had this when I was younger (although I didn't look 14 when I was 34!). When I was in my 20s though I had a round face and big tits and blonde hair and I looked young and just like a bit of a bimbo, whatever I did and I struggled to be taken seriously. I noticed though that people treated me better when I wore my glasses and I dressed for work in a more grown-up way - jacket and blouse, for instance, rather than something less formal. There is nothing you can do about your round face, but hair, make-up and clothing can make a big difference - as can glasses.

I left a similar thread a few weeks back. Am 37 but people think I am between 17-20.
People will say 'You're lying/ boasting' but my whole life has been like this.

1. Being mistaken for starting secondary school (So being age 10 or 11) when I was about to start college.
2. Being told to get on the school bus at age 33.
3. Being told I looked 12 by a senior manager at work. I was 23.
4. Never being able to buy alcohol without ID even now
5. People at work assumed I was around 15 years younger

Countless more episodes. It doesn't get easier as I get older, it gets worse. People just dont get it or understand how it impacts on my life.

People tend to get a first impression that I'm much younger than I am. Close up and a proper look, then yes I look closer to my actual age, but impressions of small build, good hair/ skin, a fairly young style, good posture/ fit movements and that first impression can be way off, and it can be a problem. It was undermining when I had colleagues walk into the classroom and failing to realise I was present in a room of y7/8s... in my mid-30s. I did laugh it off when the gin was confiscated at the till when I was 37 and the one day I didn't have proof that I was at least 12 years older than my actual age. I get away with a secondary age child because he's got the small, young looking thing going on too 😂

Sometimes it's flattering, sometimes it can be wearing or frustrating.
I miss the child bus fare... not had one of them since I was 29 and just about to show pregnancy bump

Getting older and less in touch with fashion and it's getting harder to pinpoint ages of 15-30 year olds, particularly with the styles of make up and hair that are popular at present. maybe I need to learn contouring...

Probably because no-one in their mid thirties actually looks 14. Most people look a few years on either side of their actual age, while a small number will look up to ten years older or younger.

It can be very demoralising and undermining when people ignore you and the postition you are representing because they don't recognise your experience. You have to work harder to get recognition. It really can be difficult to be taken seriously/ professionally.

@wingingit33 I’ll swap with you! I’m in my sixties and look older

@BogRollBOGOF totally agree.
in client meetings, I try to drop into conversations that I have over 20 years experience in my field, so they know that I’m not junior.

Oh gawd.... Haven't had one of these for at LEAST a week.

'oooh I look sooo YOUNG.... it's so devastating. It's so career limiting, people pat me on the head and call me little girl, people who I answer the door to ask where my mummy is, oooh it's so hard for me....' 😂

Nothing to see here. As you were.

Oh also @wingingit33 nope. you do NOT look 14. You just don't. Not at 34. Get a grip FFS.

Same, and I'm also 37. I was on the other thread too whining how much it impacts my relationships with acquaintances, especially other school mums as young mums always come to chat to me and mums my age don't. Then all the young mums are really surprised when I'm actually a boring old fart. It's a bit awkward.

I am fairly convinced I have EDS though, as I have super smooth skin and zero wrinkles (it's really elastic though so surely I'll get really saggy when I'm older), and I'm short and slim so it's probably very easy to mistake me for a young un. I'm so pleased my husband is a very young looking 35-year-old so at least we're in it together. 😅

It’s been at least 2 weeks since Ive seen one of these.

Wait for the 75 year olds that look 30 and have no wrinkles, people in their 50s being asked for ID to buy a bottle of wine and of course anyone that calls bullshit is just jealous and doesn’t know the struggle. 🤭

I think you should re-post this in on the style and beauty board if you are serious about not dressing like a teenager.

I assume you don't have a profession? (Sorry I haven't read the thread?)

When I'm not working I dress in hoodies etc and I was IDed the other day - I can't remember where.
I'm fully mid-forties and peri menopausal.
It's not a compliment, it just means people are too busy to look properly or are a bit dim.

However when I'm dressed for work my posture and presence gives away the fact I am a women in her power/prime and even though I think I look younger/better when I'm dressed up, people actually take me in more and look at me properly so don't make the mistake of thinking I am much younger than I am - does that make sense?

But if your running around in teenager clothes running errands all day, then you might get IDed more.

I'm late 30s and get mistaken for at least 10 years older too. My mum is in her late 70s and people tend to think she's about 60. For both of us I think it's mainly our skin, it's that type that doesn't really get any fine lines or wrinkles. My face really hasn't changed much in the past 10 years but I'm very grateful to have some grey hairs now so that at least helps a little. I'm 5ft3 and being short definitely makes people talk to you like you are young.

😂 Don't forget the 42-48 year olds who answer the door and the person asks if their mummy is in.

You don’t literally look 14 though do you if your honest and others were being flippant.

Wow I didn't know similar threads have been already otherwise I'd have jumped on.

My hair is horrible. Giant thick and frizzy as... so ponytail it is. I have a 7month old so no time at all to do anymore than that.

Is it really time for Hobbs?!

Riiiight. So the nurse thought YOU were your 12 year old daughter, even though your daughter was presumably next to you? Bullshit. Troll off.

The trainers/skinny jeans/ponytail combo probably isn't doing you any favours if you have a youthful face and don't want to be mistaken for a teenager.

Agree with the PP who suggested posting this in the style and beauty thread if you want practical advice (and not people accusing you of humble bragging).

As a starter for ten though I would suggest swapping the skinny jeans for straight leg or mom jeans, depending on what suits your body shape.

Something I tend to do if I'm having a wardrobe wobble is google 'street style' images of celebrities whose style I admire for inspiration. Sienna Miller is one. Is there anyone age appropriate and with a similar body type who you could use as inspiration?

Who did they think the 12yo was? Mum or toddler?

Post the evidence then everyone otherwise our time here is wasted. You just click the paper clip and upload a photo.

😂 😂 Exactly

YANBU. It makes a difference at work because people assume you're not competent at your job.

I also have to wonder about the mentality of all the men who harassed me in the street from the age of 14 upwards when I looked even younger. I've had men admitting outright that they thought I was younger, and yet they were still sexualising me. Disgusting.

@Grandeur are you having a bad day?