Why do you think the highest suicide rate of all is of men approaching 50?

[RR64]

Why do you think the highest suicide rate of all is of nen approaching 50?

Surely this needs to be addressed?

Preventing male suicide isn't a worthwhile cause because you believe men that commit suicide are doing it because they're abusers accused of abuse?

FFS.

This.

Men realising their lives haven't turned out how they expected, turn to drink, get depressed and spiral downwards. Add in divorce, redundancy etc.

A lot of women are so busy raising children, and can't bear the idea of leaving their families. Women drink less too. And there is less pressure on women to be a financial success, have the big car etc.

PTSD. Guilt gets deeper the older and more mellow you get.

I doubt there's any single reason but it is interesting reading some of the responses here. I don't think men in general are any less independent or capable. The male friends we have, both married and single, all seem capable and responsible. Why people get to the stage where they think it's not worth going on is probably different for us all. We have in the past discussed it as a group, we're all older, and some have said it's getting to the stage where we're just waiting for the end. Families raised, careers done what's the point. If it's not enjoyable any more, just going through the motions, then why not just end it painlessly.

Good point!

I’ve read that big number of men who commit suicide are about to face jail for being rapist / pedofiles.

I once read an article about suicide in older males and the writer was adamant the reason older men were dying was because they had commited violent crimes in their youth, got away with it, and couldn't live with the guilt anymore. They had stats and interviews with people who knew the deceased but
I just looked for it online and can't find it, I know it was in an American magazine, but it seems to have disappeared

healthandjusticejournal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40352-021-00146-6

It's not as high effect on overal male suicide numbers as people might think it seems

That's interesting. I'm not sure what that says about both sexes, but it's interesting.

Most common suicide is by hanging. For both sexes

I'd like to see some actual data on that, because otherwise it sounds like a too convenient way of washing our hands of the problem.

A number of women I have worked with have told me that it was. I agree that people can often believe their loved ones may be better off without them, but I have encountered many women who continued with their lives solely because of their responsibility to others, their children or people for whom they were a carer. Its not a judgement on those who do take their own lives, more an observation about people who want to, yet don't. Women are more likely to be those giving hands on, day to day care so possibly more likely to believe they are needed.

Low testosterone. HRT should be as available for men as it is woman.

The patriarchy, same as most problems to be honest

If you bring boys up with the inherent belief that they are better, stronger, cleverer and more deserving of recognition and success then surely they are more likely to crash spectacularly if these things go wrong

Exactly. It's a false sense of entitlement leading to being disappointed in life. Coupled with being brought up in an era where boys didn't cry, didn't talk about their emotions, and had to bottle everything up for fear of acting like a girl.
God forbid a man gets therapy, much easier to do the macho thing and jump off a bridge. This isn't a jab at men who find themselves contemplating suicide, it's a jab at the society that got them to that place.

I just asked DH. He said ‘the futility of it all and the realisation you’ll never get to retire’

😳

think I need a chat with him later…

If course you have.

I have this theory that as women get older they get more independent, more comfortable in their own skin and don’t “need” men as much, as they
have their children. Men need to be “needed” and when they realise that their EX/DW/DP are flourishing and don’t “need” them anymore they can’t hack it. They’ve taken their position for granted and when it’s no longer required they don’t know what to do with themselves. Just my two cents worth!

An old friend died by his own hand this year at 50. It is so sad. I think about him often.

Following on from my post above I am separated from my ex. I have gone on to get myself a career, have been promoted 3 times in 5 years. I’ve had therapy over my marriage breakdown and things I’ve carried from my childhood. I read lots on self awareness, I have a great relationship with my kids and am thinking about going back to college. My ex? He’s learned nothing from his marriage breakdown, has had no therapy, has never tried to sort through his issues, has no self awareness and is in the same dead end job on the same salary. To me, life is about learning and he has learned nothing over the 20+ years I’ve known him. He just doesn’t want to.

It's been mentioned previously that more women attempt suicide than men, just that they're less successful at it.

Presumably your answer to this entire issue is that:

a) Men kill themselves because of the patriarchy.

b) More women try to kill themselves because of the patriarchy.

No. This is MN so absolutely everything will be put down to ‘the patriarchy’ and ‘societal conditioning’ but there are clear differences between men and women regardless of all of that. It is perfectly logical that hormones and biological factors influence personality, propensities etc.

Just look at how PMT/menopause/pregnancy hormones affect women. Higher testosterone makes you angry and aggressive. If somebody tends towards aggression as a response to pain or upset, that makes suicide more likely as tenet turn the aggression inwards.

Men now also don’t get enough fresh air and exercise, they’re like caged animals going demented.

Yes the 'crash spectacularly' part of my sentence was due to the fact that men are more likely to use successful methods

Suicide rates are dropping

Society has changed, the effects of the patriarchy are lower

Hormones, biological factors etc etc have not changed

Men now also don’t get enough fresh air and exercise, they’re like caged animals going demented.

Sounds like me now I WFH!

That’s correlation not causation. And biological factors have definitely changed - lower sperm counts, more polycystic ovaries and hormone imbalances due to our unhealthy lifestyles.