Would you leave your 16yo alone for a week?

[ThrowAwayOne]

DS insists he doesn't want to go on holiday with us next year. He'll be 16 and a half. I don't want to leave him as I think it's too young. He's mature for 16 but doesn't cook (younger child and DH have food allergies so the adults cook) he knows how to make oven food like pizza/nuggets etc so wouldn't starve. He'd be home alone as his sister will be at uni and the last thing he wants is her coming back to 'babysit'. They get along ok but he wants a week of just being by himself with nobody else home.

I'm not worried about him having parties etc, he's not yet into that scene and has had offers of going to parties but said they're not for him. His friends are always here anyway so it won't bother me if they visit while we are away.

Grandparents from both sides of the family live within 10 minute walking distance, aunts like 5 minute drive away and would pop in to check if he needs anything.

It would be during school term so would need to get himself sorted for school but he does this anyway with no help from us. This is one of my main reasons for not knowing whether to allow it as it feels a bit neglectful but he says he's completely self sufficient when it comes to getting ready for school including doing his own lunch and washing his uniform so should be allowed to stay at home for the week and get himself to school every day.

Would you allow it?

YABU - Let him stay by himself
YANBU - He's too young yet

Some posters have watched too many teen movies - not every 16 yo left on their own succumbs to an out of control party.

I was left home alone for 2 weeks at 16. Parents were going on holiday with my 3 younger brothers who pestered the life out of me so I didn't want to go.

He sounds like a sensible boy and this is a great opportunity to give him a bit of independence and show that you trust him. And in the same respect for him to show he can be trusted. He's 16. You can't wrap him up in cotton wool forever.

He's got family nearby in case he needs them but honestly the most exciting thing that'll happen is a domino's 2 for Tuesdays with his mates one night!

I'd be more concerned if a 16yo couldn't be left home alone for a week, to be honest.

Depends how trustworthy he is I suppose.Sil came back from holiday to her house trashed after her dc had a party.

I wouldn't. But my son wouldn't want to miss a holiday to be honest.

I definitely wouldn't go before GCSEs to make sure he had support with revising and general well being during that time.

If he’s got support nearby of grandparents and aunts then probably, but make sure they check in him, don’t leave it for him to contact them.
However, personally I think a week is long for 16.5 year old on his own if it’s not built up to. We didn’t start leaving until 17 completely on own overnight - friends came, windows were left wide open (first floor) etc. we built up to 3/4 days after that and still had calls at 17/18 about random stuff!
can you do an overnight at least before then to test the water?

I was going to say no, but with a robust plan of checks and enforced visits by the nearby relatives I might. For context I wouldn't leave my 17yo dd for a week yet but I would for a weekend. She's perfectly capable and we probably will soon/could.

16? Of course I would. But then I know people who left home at that.
I would have no issues leaving my DS at that age.

We went away for a week when DS was 15 (mid-week to mid-week). He stayed with my friend during the week, but at home for the weekend. I would have trusted him in the house, and cooking (he cooked a meal for friend’s family as a thank you) but I knew he wouldn’t get up for school.

I wouldn’t for more than a weekend (I just wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself) but given the family/neighbours/bookish friends situation i don’t think YABU to consider it.

I’d be most worried about security I think. and switching appliances off, that kind of thing.

getting himself ready for school every day is a bit different to letting him lazy about on the Xbox.

My parents often went on holiday when I was 16 for a week or so. Sounds like he knows how to do more than I did at that age and has more people around.

I left my dd's for a week at 15 and17. Lots of family checking in and they were fine. But it depends on your child.

Why did you book a term time holiday if you wanted him to come? I wouldn’t leave a 16 year old alone for a week, but I applaud him wanting to do his studies. At that age he shouldn’t be missing school for a week to go on holiday

Yes, indeed. The OP frames this as "he doesn't want to come" but actually she's put him between a rock and a hard place with regards to missing school (my 16 year old wouldn't want to go on holiday in term time either) or missing the holiday. TBH if OP decides she won't leave DS on his own for a week, then I suggest she needs to move the holiday, not force him to come.

With support nearby some 16 year olds are ready, some are not.

DB was the not ready, would throw a party type. When I was 15, he was 22 we were left for a week. DM was happier to leave him because I was there and would remember to eat food, lock doors, feed the pets etc. He had already survived university but was definitely of the brain matures at 25 type. We got on very well and had a good week.

I probably could have managed by myself at 16. I'm comfortable with my own company and school would have kept me busy anyway. DM never liked being alone and had quite a stiffling attitude about it.

Agree with PPs that if they can't be left at home alone at 16 (additional needs notwithstanding) that there's something wrong.

He'll be fine. He sounds sensible enough. I have several friends who moved out at 16!

@housemaus some 16yo might be able to cope with the cooking, getting to college etc, but might not like the idea of being in a house on their own for a week. Let’s face it there are grown up women on this site who don’t like being on their own at night.

And for those saying some young people move out at 16, I assume that is usually down to family tensions etc and so not necessarily something to aspire to

I’m guessing that since he didn’t want to come on holiday that they’ve booked during term time so it is cheaper. Some people have no imagination.

I left my 16 year old for a week (he was almost 17) last November. He was fine, but he did have his 19 year old brother with him too. Although 16 year old is more sensible than 19 year old...

Mines same age and we are leaving her 2 nights for first time at half term. Lots of neighbours we know to go to in emergency. She’s not a partying type. A week seems a lot for first try and I don’t think I’m overprotective. Cooking wise airfryer has been fantastic dd cooks lots for herself in that.

Some people possibly have too much!!

The OP seems reluctant to leave her child on his own, so there is no indication that the term time holiday was booked on account of him not coming. She talks about "not allowing" him to stay at home on his own.

Hardly the same thing as being abandoned now is it 🤨

Some of the language on here ‘Forced to fend’ ‘Will he survive’ and ‘Abandoned’ Jaysus. You know your son, leave him if you feel you can and don’t if you feel you can’t.

I was living in my own place by 16, paying my bills and in working training, so no it’s not unreasonable depending on the capability of the youngster, also he is 16, he can take care of himself, he’s not a child any more.