What do you NOT miss about your EXH??

[FloraFloraa]

I need to some light-hearted chat.
My divorce is almost finalised... yes, I've had moments of sadness and "I hope I am doing the right thing" but I know I am 100%.
My STBXH isn't a bad guy, we just fell out of love and grew apart.
However, I've started thinking of all the things I am looking forward too... such as CHRISTMAS!! I am excited knowing that I can have a leisurely morning and not drive to 3 different houses in our neighbouring city to visit STBXH family.
I am also looking forward to not listening to his shit loud music in the house too...

I probably sound mean but tell me what DON'T you miss about your EXH??

xx

Everything!

I hate that I still have to have contact with him about the DC. I have slight ptsd (only slightly dramatic) and he makes my skin crawl.

Horrible selfish drunk who, as I later found out, had several affairs and would be so verbally abusive that I no longer flinched at being called a <insert word> bitch. He'd list every shortcoming of mine (as he thought) in front of the DC, which was dreadful.

No more treading on eggshells or asking permission, dealing with sulking and scruffiness and anger problems. And I no longer have to let him touch me, though I stopped that long before the end.

Ive thought about online dating, but I worry that they are quite similar in a relationship and best to stick with men as friends only (though I mostly have female friends now).

It's definitely a worry!

So many disgusting men out there.
Were they always like this?

His man tits-they where bigger than mine and when we had sex,there they where-swinging above my head

the mental torture

his small (but in his head,huge and mighty) penis
i honestly couldn’t feel it

hed take his pants off-and leave them,covered in skid marks on the floor

his cheating

the sponging of my money

the bragging-‘I’m a trained bodyguard’
he couldn’t have fought his way out of a wet paper bag-one 3 hour course does not make you a bodyguard

his mother-who thought the sun shone out of his arse,he could do no wrong and everything was my fault

I’m with a man who does none of the above and I adore my in laws-they KNOW the sun doesn’t shine out of anywhere,let alone his backside

Been single 8 years. Best time of my adult life.

I could never co-habit now.

I could put up with a rich, sensitive, clean, undemanding and cultured man who wants to take me out to the ballet or dinner when it suits me, in exchange for my brilliant company only. He can come in for a "coffee" afterwards if I feel like it.

I think there is a name for that.

Cleaning the bathroom sink until it was all sparkly, for him to then shave with his electric shaver then empty all the fucking whiskers into the sink. There was a bin underneath it.

Those little fucking ‘pep’ talks he would give me for my own good and because he loves me. Fuck off it was all about him.

My hair - it’s grey, I don’t care
My clothes - I like comfy, I don’t want to look like mutton dressed as lamb.
My weight - yes I’ve been slimmer
My exercise regime - yes I know we don’t have a dog anymore, but I still do all the gardening, housework and clean the windows, etc etc.
My diet - well it would be nice if I didn’t have to cook every bloody meal for thirty years.

Always ended with ‘you’re a good looking woman, don’t you want to feel good?”

meaning I want you to look good, because I’m so shallow, and that makes me look good.

Im over 60 FFS.

The dread when he started drinking, never knowing what would happen
His constant negativity and moaning
My constant anxiety
His irritating, grating voice
The fact that literally absolutely everything was my fault, the man has been an innocent bystander his entire life
Him sat on his phone instead of engaging in conversation with my family
The fact we couldn't play scrabble/trivial pursuit or anything that involved any intelligence as he was sadly lacking
His total lack of interest in current affairs making it very difficult to maintain conversations with him
The total absence of emotional intelligence
The fact that if he couldn't understand a feeling or emotion the according to him it did not exist and didn't need to be accounted for
His awful cooking
His tools all over the house
His entitlement when i earned so much more than him
His whinging at me about cleaning and housework even though i did more than him
His constant farts
The fact he used talc and got it everywhere
His stinky shits and skidmarks which he never cleaned

The loud snoring
Smelly Feet
The sulking for days/ Months over little things
His selfishness
Talking loudly on his phone for hours to his Family and Friends at 2 or 3 in the Morning ( Family in different timezone to us)

the control. the quiet fear i had. the threats to my child.
i am also another one who's looking forwards to christmas!!! last year I couldn't even bring myself to put a tree up.
this year i am looking forwards to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i also don't miss his greed, lies, visits to prostitutes ("I just parked here to fall asleep"), more lies, conning people, threats to other people, laziness, more greed. everything times 10 really.

i also don't miss any part of him at all. and as people say "the quickest way to lose 24 stone [for e.g.] is to get rid of that big vile oaf". or something like that.

The always being late for things! Like deliberately so. My mantra is if you are early you are on time, if you are on time you are late. He would deliberately sit there (even though ready) until we were already late before we left for anything. I found it incredibly rude and embarrassing. I don't miss that.

The sucking sound when he took a sip of coffee, followed by a loud nasal exhale.
Scratching the weird dry skin on his arse when he first got out of bed in the morning.
The funny upward nose wipe he used to do three times in a row.

Agreeing with so many of these. I forgot the lies. He was (still is) a compulsive liar.

Bloody FIFA on the PS4. I do not miss that shit one bit.

Among other things. But I’m sitting here in my quiet living room and that strikes me as a gain.

Another ex-everything was perfect until he had a drink
i don’t drink-i don’t want to but others do-which is fine-if you know when to stop
he didn’t-hed use my money to buy himself a ‘beer’ (a bottle of vodka),he’d pour himself a full pint glass and put enough oj to colour it,drink at least two pints and then the violence would start
i called the police out 87 times in two years-they took him to court once-(he got fined £80 and he fully expected me to pay it) they would drop him at the train station 5 minutes from my house,he’d wait until they’d gone and come back

the last straw was when he broke my nose-and his mother blamed me for ‘winding him up’

Hurl 🤮

Hello team, glad to have found you 😀

The poor hygiene, the smell, the sulking, the crap sex, the drinking, the gambling but the worst thing was the DIY.

My God, he was shite at DIY. I, and I know I shouldn't toot my own horn, actually am very good at DIY. I come from a family of tradesmen and spent a lot of my younger years helping out on jobs. This annoyed him a lot because ladies should not be better at DIY than the mighty penis. He'd sit drinking cans of lager, muttering about it then after a certain amount of alcohol he'd have talked himself into being the King of Home Improvement and go away and commit some mangled turd of an abomination on my lovely house. I couldn't tell him it was crap because his ego would get bruised he'd sulk for weeks so my two choices were to a) live with the squinty, splattery collapsing pile of shite he'd produced or b) secretly go and fix it myself like Nick Knowles with Stockholm Syndrome further bolstering his unfounded belief he was a master craftsman and starting the whole unholy cycle again.
So glad I don't have to put up with that any more.

The tent!!😂😂

This is why l refuse to go OLD, because these guys are now all on there, you can see why so many women enjoy being single.

Having my house smashed up. Drinks poured on my head and screamed at/attacked if he was on a come down from illegal substances.....

Waiting until I was in the bath to empty his bowels right next to me, removing his own toenails and leaving them everywhere, inability to shut a cupboard or drawer or tidy up anything, his shouting because deaf, his affairs, his gaslighting. Oh and his prolific spending. I could go on and on with some awful stuff but this is meant to be lighthearted. He actually left me for somebody else so she's got all those delightful habits and more! A prince amongst men indeed 🙄

Absolutely this

My ex used to show pony to everyone, bigging himself up. Spend loads at charity auctions, buy drinks for lots of people, insist on paying for everyone's dinner if we went out. Meanwhile we could barely pay the mortgage, he would bitterly complain if he felt I had spend too much on food shopping, etc, etc.

Needless to say that in my 50s, starting again with nothing (he caused us to lose all our assets) and struggling for money, I am still happier as a single parent than I was with him.

Him lying down on the entire length if the settere so I was left with the edge.

On his phone all night even being woken up by the light and notifications constantly.

Having to eat the big greasy meat heavy meals he always wanted.

Rushing me to be ready when I've already waited an hour for him get ready.

Being stuck in the car for hours with the kids while he stopped off to 'grab something' on every single journey.

Him constantly ogling, making comments about and flirting with every woman within 10 metres.

Being constantly worried he was going to say something inappropriate or offensive, constantly being thrown out of places.

That's just a few things I wont miss!

Not moved out yet but the mood swings the weed money wasted and the cd money on a crap music career no body really cared about. Always being right.I’ll survive and Christmas will be miserable free this year. Crap music only now he’s paying bills has he realised he can’t smoke as much so it’s tab baccy chewing gum.