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Original poster

What do you NOT miss about your EXH??

122 replies

FloraFloraa · 04/10/2022 12:20

I need to some light-hearted chat.
My divorce is almost finalised... yes, I've had moments of sadness and "I hope I am doing the right thing" but I know I am 100%.
My STBXH isn't a bad guy, we just fell out of love and grew apart.
However, I've started thinking of all the things I am looking forward too... such as CHRISTMAS!! I am excited knowing that I can have a leisurely morning and not drive to 3 different houses in our neighbouring city to visit STBXH family.
I am also looking forward to not listening to his shit loud music in the house too...

I probably sound mean but tell me what DON'T you miss about your EXH??

xx

OP posts:
MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 04/10/2022 17:55

his inability to clean up after himself in the bathroom
his lack of personal hygiene
his total disrespect of what I did re house and family ("she did not generate any income despite the DC being in school full time")
his views on foreplay (non-existent)

thankfully I now live alone, and NewBloke is very much into foreplay 😂

comfortablyfrumpy · 04/10/2022 17:59

Where do I start?
I don't miss a single thing. Not one :D

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/10/2022 18:10

@Sova

I think you and I were married to the same bloke

Justleaveitblankthen · 04/10/2022 18:16

FloraFloraa · 04/10/2022 13:38

Mine would also do this thing to clear his nose / throat (I dont know, I never really understood it) and he would leave yellow clumps in the sink... disgusting!!

Sweet Jesus I have found my people.
Mine did this. Just the fu**ing once 🤬. His snot was tinged with blood.
I was a SAHP and left it there all day long until he got home from work. He also blew his nose on paper serviettes at the end of every meal, regard them with interest.. and attempted to leave them there (was used to his mother clearing them up without comment)

BearFacedCheekGrylls · 04/10/2022 18:25

Things I don’t miss…

Having to go to bed when he decided.
Being woken up for disturbing his sleep, but not being allowed to sleep in the spare room.
Rolling his eyes and hissing/growling if ever I raised something I was unhappy about.
His work/exercise/needs always coming first.
Having to ask before spending money above the norm.
Him being mean to the cat/dog.

BearFacedCheekGrylls · 04/10/2022 18:26

Justleaveitblankthen · 04/10/2022 18:16

Sweet Jesus I have found my people.
Mine did this. Just the fu**ing once 🤬. His snot was tinged with blood.
I was a SAHP and left it there all day long until he got home from work. He also blew his nose on paper serviettes at the end of every meal, regard them with interest.. and attempted to leave them there (was used to his mother clearing them up without comment)

Show quote history

Mine used to that in the shower…leave it in the wall and deny it.

strange is doesn’t happen any more.

I also don’t miss the 30 minute shits

hiredandsqueak · 04/10/2022 18:50

His flipping helplessness and the need for my input in everything or nothing would ever get done.
The television is now only on when we want to watch something where he had it on all the time.
Pissing on the floor and then denying it was him or blame the toilet leaking. It's never happened since he left.
So many things tbh, so pleased he's an exh

crochetmonkey74 · 04/10/2022 18:52

His flipping helplessness and the need for my input in everything or nothing would ever get done
I don't think anyone can get how utterly offputting this is unless they live with day in day out. It is such an unattractive quality in anyone , let alone the person you are meant to want to have sex with!

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 04/10/2022 18:54

crochetmonkey74 · 04/10/2022 18:52

His flipping helplessness and the need for my input in everything or nothing would ever get done
I don't think anyone can get how utterly offputting this is unless they live with day in day out. It is such an unattractive quality in anyone , let alone the person you are meant to want to have sex with!

exH wanted me to go back to sit with him while he worked out how to transfer the bills into his name rather than mine, apparently "it would just be easier" than if he tried logging in with his email address that I'd changed them all to and clicked on "forgot my password". Twat. Don't miss any of that "helplessness" rubbish

Chicheguevara · 04/10/2022 19:01

What don’t I miss. I don’t have a PowerPoint presentation but can do my best anyway.

The snoring, the having to pay out for Xmas and birthday pressies for his 3 older sisters, at a minimum of £50 a pressie - in 14 years, they never once sent me a gift but lavished stuff on him as he wasn’t working as long term sick. I don’t miss the internet games bills, the porn on my laptop, the never ending mess to clear up after I came home from my working day then having to walk the dogs because he hadn’t even taken them around the block. I don’t miss funding his car or paying his debts.

The only thing I do miss is my left kidney, that I donated and that he failed to look after properly. He ‘forgot’ to take meds and wouldn’t even try to lose weight to help the kidney function until his body rejected it a couple of years down the line. I certainly don’t miss the never ending taxi service to and from clinic.

bedtimealready · 04/10/2022 19:03

His mother

Twiglets1 · 04/10/2022 19:06

Bestcatmum · 04/10/2022 13:28

Where do I start!! His stupid cow chewing the cud expression when eating and refusing to speak to anyone for the entirety of the meal - especially embarrassing when we had friends and relatives over. You are surely allowed to talk during the meal?
Selfishness.
Constant sex pestering.
Refusing to help out in the house or garden.
Always losing his job because of his immature behaviour.
The way he replied to "it will be alright" to every single question about finances etc. It won't be alright, you have to work hard to make sure it will be alright not assume everything will be alright on its own.
Refusal to make a will.
Refusal to take out a pension.
Never buying me a birthday or xmas gift.
Moaning about everything when he had a life of ease thanks to me and my hard work.
His absurd belief in conspiracy theories.
His drinking.
Watching porn, he knew I hate porn.
His erectile dysfunction nearly every time despite pestering me for sex.
The way he could never put a tent up straight.
Good bloody riddance.

Had to smile at the 2 ways he couldn’t get it up

Riapia · 04/10/2022 19:10

The stories.
The wonderful stories he concocted in an attempt to cover up the affairs.
Even as I walked out the door for the last time he still couldn’t stop.
Twat.

Huntswomanonthemove · 04/10/2022 19:16

Being constantly pestered for sex.
Him sulking when he didn’t get sex.
Being woken up in the middle of the night by his dick pushing into me.
Him wanking in bed whilst I was nodding off to sleep.
Him making derogatory comments about me, to other people whilst I sat there.
Him shouting at me and the children.
Him smoking and lying about smoking.
Having to put up with his family.

7catsisnotenough · 04/10/2022 19:22

Slurping his coffee and tea...🤢

Breathing...🤣

7catsisnotenough · 04/10/2022 19:27

His breathing...I enjoy breathing myself 🤣

Abundanceofcare · 04/10/2022 19:36

Secret and unnecessary spending on himself (expensive coffee while on the road when we were broke)

Running up debts/overdraft for no good reason

Sex pestering and also endless pushing for experimenting with sex stuff I didn't want to do

Cheating and lying

Crocodile tears

Drinking

Unable to eat normal food, had to have premium brands/expensive stuff all the time despite no money

No qualms spending other people's money, including mine

Lust and short term reward driven, no long term perspective

Gaslighting

Put downs

Discussing how fuckable the bar maid/any woman in sight was in front of me and friends ALL THE TIME

Taking away my self confidence

Telling all and sundry personal issues about me

Posting on Facebook ALL THE TIME

Porn addiction

Turning conversation with friends to a hobby of his that I had no knowledge of but they did, so I never had anything to say. He said I was unsupportive for not engaging.

Putting music on he knew I hated in the car

Leaving me to look after HIS children all the time when they came at weekends and taking credit for being an involved dad

Exploiting me financially, sexually, emotionally and practically

BASTARD

comfortablyfrumpy · 04/10/2022 19:47

Keeva2017 · 04/10/2022 13:55

The snoring
Being useless at DIY, managing money and prioritising his children.
Being good at housework but choosing to rarely do it.

Telling the kids to watch their iPads so he didn’t have to interact with them.

like a pp, that dread of hearing the first of 4/5 cans open every night.

Complaining that I didn’t want to have sex with him but taking no responsibility for the decline in my desire to have sex with him.

I think we were married to the same man 😱😱😱

Abundanceofcare · 04/10/2022 19:51

Forgot

Chewing fingers until raw and spitting out dead skin & nails, specially in the car

His parents, utter psychopaths

Comparing me to previous shags and saying he wished I was more like them

Wanting to fuck my sister and mother

Having full to the top baths daily while WFH long before Covid, while I was out working in the office earning way more than him because I actually had some work output! He was sacked for laziness in the end.

Inability to actually BE sorry and not just say the word "sorry" to shut me up

JengaNonConfirming · 04/10/2022 19:52

I don't miss his love of cheap grey joggers or over fondness of Jack Daniels. Also his lack of interest in the world.

BlackeyedSusan · 04/10/2022 20:06

You know, staying single sounds muchmore appealing all of a sudden Grin

Keeva2017 · 04/10/2022 20:07

Is anyone else scared to have another relationship after reading this thread? I mean, these men are OUT THERE! Probably pretending to be be good guys and waiting to lure us in, only to then drop the facade of decency and unleash their grim entitled and somewhat disgusting behaviours!!!

@comfortablyfrumpy shall we start a support group? Sadly my ex had some good points but his refusal to address the awful ones was the nail in the coffin.

hiredandsqueak · 04/10/2022 20:14

@Keeva2017 I'm definitely never ever living with another man again exh has put me off for life, I think. Been single for more than five years now and don't intend to change that. I'm the happiest I've been my whole adult life.

Isaidnoalready · 04/10/2022 20:21

My ex woke me up because he locked himself out of his email and was using the forgotten password link which pinged through to my phone so middle of the night my phone is going INSANE I pressed the its not me button and locked the email address so he tried calling but he is no longer on my priority list so he just got the sorry the person you are calling blah blah message even the text got a bounce back response I went back to sleep

cadburyegg · 04/10/2022 20:22

I have found my people GrinGrinGrin

The constant being on edge at the end of the day, not knowing the mood he'd be in when he got home.

His attitude of "you're my wife so you owe me" pestering for sex but no genuine affection. Even trying to feel me up in front of our DC.

Spending our money on expensive branded snacks, one of the final nails in the coffin was him moaning that I used some cheese that "he" bought for our then 2 year old's packed lunch. He was unemployed for a few months during covid and he'd buy himself expensive gadgets, meanwhile we were so broke I asked my mum to buy the DC some wellies. When he left I realised that he only ever supported himself financially, it was up to me to support our DC even though I earned less than him and did the majority of child caring and mental load.

The "I need rest because my job is more important" excuse which he used to get out of pulling his weight. Still uses it now when asked to do anything above the bare fucking minimum for the DC.

And the worst thing - his absolute gross habit of keeping his fingernail clippings. We separated nearly 2 years ago and today I found some in the bottom of a cupboard whilst clearing it out. GROSS!!!!!