What do you NOT miss about your EXH??

[FloraFloraa]

I need to some light-hearted chat.
My divorce is almost finalised... yes, I've had moments of sadness and "I hope I am doing the right thing" but I know I am 100%.
My STBXH isn't a bad guy, we just fell out of love and grew apart.
However, I've started thinking of all the things I am looking forward too... such as CHRISTMAS!! I am excited knowing that I can have a leisurely morning and not drive to 3 different houses in our neighbouring city to visit STBXH family.
I am also looking forward to not listening to his shit loud music in the house too...

I probably sound mean but tell me what DON'T you miss about your EXH??

xx

Mine would always ask if I'd like a cup of tea, for me to say yes, then he would forget, that would really piss me off... why ask!!

Yep, snoring here as well and the crossing the road alone ahead while I’m there with two little children, not thinking to take one of them. What is that?

Yep and he would gone on to tell me that he slept with a lot of women and none of them needed this romantic stuff. Apparently women are ready to throw themselves at him and just look at him and want to bang him. He honestly thought that it’s ok to grab my crotch and I should be turned on. And I told him many times not to bite my nipples as it hurts and he did that on 3 occasions as ‘forgot’. Not missing this!!

Wrecking my credit rating, yes, sex pesting but zero genuine affection, inarticulate bullshitting, never lifting a finger, accusing me of 'whinging'.
Never apologising for anything.

I'd hate that my STBXH would take forever finalising family events, he would always leave it last minute, usually when he was driving, and tell me to speak to them on the phone... used to get me so angry!!

I'd hate how he could never organise dinner, even for himself!! If I had dinner plans with friends or I wasnt hungry after a work thing, he would either eat nothing, or make some sorta kids thing to eat... would infuriate me.

The snoring
Being useless at DIY, managing money and prioritising his children.
Being good at housework but choosing to rarely do it.

Telling the kids to watch their iPads so he didn’t have to interact with them.

like a pp, that dread of hearing the first of 4/5 cans open every night.

Complaining that I didn’t want to have sex with him but taking no responsibility for the decline in my desire to have sex with him.

The refusal to let me leave the house in case "anything happened" the school run didn't count though

My birthday and mother's day was all about him basically the kids wouod pester him for something for me for mothers day he would say it's sorted then on the day he would "forget" (but never forget his mum) kids would be disappointed he would shout and stamp about the "cost" moan it's she schools job to sort it where is the fucking money coming from etc etc then do a uturn and put us all in the car drag us to sainsbury's or somewhere let his favourite child pick out a cheap gift for me and pay for it then he would flip shit because we still weren't happy he can't do ANYTHING RIGHT we are UNGRATEFUL PARASITES we would be NOTHING WITHOUT HIM

I still hate birthdays

His obnoxious dad. Glad I never have to see him again.
Starting a job, anything and then asking me to finish it. This extended to him putting a load of washing in but not getting it dry, ironed and put away. Him agreeing to our dc going to a friends house but me having to trail to pick them up. Him starting to cook but then asking me to peel and chop the potatoes, all the veg, make the Yorkshire puddings oh and whilst I’m at it the gravy. Me specifically telling him that for once he must watch the children whilst I have an important assignment to finish and him fucking up by inviting other children into the house then not watching them, them causing havoc and bang goes my assignment time.
Arranging things without consulting me: be it inviting randomers round for dinner, which I always ended up cooking, him going away for the night/weekend and leaving me to sort out the children.
So glad I am no longer with him.

Yep and he would gone on to tell me that he slept with a lot of women and none of them needed this romantic stuff. Apparently women are ready to throw themselves at him and just look at him and want to bang him. He honestly thought that it’s ok to grab my crotch and I should be turned on. And I told him many times not to bite my nipples as it hurts and he did that on 3 occasions as ‘forgot’. Not missing this!!

Sova, mine would sometimes come up behind me and slapped my bum or grab my breasts.. in a shit attempt to seduce me. I also have inverted nipples, so during sex, I'd tell him not to kiss that area as I am very self cautious... he would always forget and declare "but I love them", good for you pal, but I dont.

You’ve reminded me… occasionally Mother’s Day was ok but then not getting me gifts but feeling a gift is that he is joining us on a day I planned or a trip I planned and paid for. Then telling me ‘you’re sick’ if I said something like ‘I’m not getting a present then’. I’m being so ungrateful as kids drew me pictures and it was very hard on him to get them do it.

but happily accepting expensive and thoughtful gifts from me although always saying ‘he doesn’t care about bdays’

The sniffing, the farting. The insistence he was a good guy despite his puerile friends sharing awful pictures and videos of women that he never quite managed to delete. The completely passive nature- never actually doing very much just letting himself be looked after and managed.by me. The fact that everyone thought he was a really woke great guy..

Just found out he has met someone else and it still hurt but this thread is helping!

The two-shedding.

If I had a headache he had a migraine.
if I had an upset stomach he had food poisoning.
If I had a sore toe from stubbing it he had near gangrene from a horrific injury.

After all the years apart that’s one thing that I still feel grateful for - if I moan to DH about something he doesn’t have the need to two shed it.

crochetmonkey74, glad this thread is helping :)

I also don’t miss the messing around over maintenance and contact. His latest ex is going through that now and as much as I can’t stand her (she was personally nasty to my girls) I pity her as he’s an absolute shit.

The hot and cold behaviour is the main one for me. Total head fuck never knowing where you stand with someone!

I feel nasty saying this but my STBXH, when talking, would never use any expression, very monotone voice (he never used to be like that!), I would feel bored listening to him. Also, he was involved in this big scandal 15+ years ago when he was a teenager, his friends always talk about it, he always talks about it, I just hate hearing the same thing all the time... I used to always think "havent you dont anything else in your life?!"

It's only been a week for me, but so far I'm not missing
Beer fart/beer poo stench
Snoring
General Unreliability
The hour long moaning session every evening as soon as he got home about work and the evils of the modern world
Being told the same anecdotes over and over
Increasingly being exactly like Victor Meldrew making him a miserable old git (and not the loveable curmudgeon he imagined)

rubbing dead skin off his chest (which he'd then eat) with the other.

I've just thrown up a little bit in my mouth at that;that's unbelievably grim.

I definitely won't miss all his stuff. Every nook and cranny in the house was filled with stuff. Football stuff, bags with god knows what in them, boxes of stuff everywhere. My house is so free of clutter now and it's brilliant.

Bestcatmum, I love your juxtaposition :

His erectile dysfunction nearly every time despite pestering me for sex.
The way he could never put a tent up straight.

The sulking

The ability to ruin special events by being moody

The excessive, extended “telling off” he’d give our children for quite minor or “thoughtless but not intentionally bad” offences.

The occasional drunkenness to the point where he would put himself at risk.

The ability to fill an entire house with his silent anger.

The disappointment.

I started reading this whilst eating 🤣
Fuck what a load of gross men

I'll get into mine later, when the food has been digested!

Two pumps and a squirt. If I was lucky.

His arrogance. He had to be better than everyone else, cleverer than all others.
Gaslighting, and I mean serious gaslighting.
The need to have the best of everything, his clothes from JL or Debenhams.
12 meals cooked in 23 years. 0 was loads/school runs/housework/shopping trips/packed lunches.
His affairs.
His paranoia.
Fuck I love being away from him!