To ask what is the biggest mistake you've made in your life

[Smileeriley]

Mine is a double whammy, getting married and buying my current house.

The house in particular is a noose around my neck. I'm basically renting it from my mortgage company and it will never be mine.

Worst thing I ever did was but this house with my ex husband. He's a whole other thread.

Stayed in a relationship with a mentally abusive alcoholic for too long. No longer i that relationship and a lot happier these but I still mentally struggle at times

Allowing my mother to rule my life - career choices etc. I did her bidding all my life then got fucked over in her will - nasty old cow.

Moving out when I was 21 and renting instead of saving to buy a cheap terrace. Still happy in the same relationship and now married with a DD and cat but wish to god I wasn't renting.

I don’t think you ever really know whether something was a mistake because you will never know what would have happened if you’d made a different choice. What about the people wishing they’d learned to drive? They may have learned and then been in an accident.

I don’t mean the really awful stories like @DimplesToadfoot ….that wasn’t a mistake made by her anyway.

Getting into debt more than once. I’ve been too focused on keeping up with the joneses than saving money in the past.

But by far the worst mistake I ever made was to trust midwives during my first pregnancy. They missed DD was not growing as she should and got measurements wrong and she was stillborn. How I wish I could go back and do things differently 😞

Studying accounting&finance. I'm trying not to think about my mistakes too much though and pull this string as I married the best guy I could ever have, so maybe things were meant to be the way they are.

@Didiplanthis "Doing medicine, then staying a GP after I realized how much it was destroying me. I'm still doing it, and it eclipses all the good things in my life... I love the job it should be.. the job it is (for me) is truly awful due to the broken system and utterly unrealistic expectation. I hang for the glimmers."

I'm sorry you feel like this (and I'm not being patronising).

I wished I could have studied medicine but I wasn't academic enough.

Some of us appreciate all that you and your colleagues do.
Maybe I am lucky but I have always had excellent care from the NHS, and so have my family.

Please don't leave - you are badly needed.👑

I think trusting the wrong people and staying too long around them and not listening to my instincts.

Staying in London for too long. I should have moved out years ago.

Going on a date with my now partner 10 years ago and subsequently getting a mortgage and having a child together. I would never be without my DD, but me and her dad are wrong for each other in so many ways. A huge fall out between our families means he won't speak to them or even let them in the house when he is around, whereas I'm always keeping his family 'onside'.

Having 2 abortions. 1 at 20, 1 at 34. The first was right but the second I did through fear and MH issues. I'll probably never have another child, and I'll always wonder 'what if'. It hasn't done my already poor relationship any good either.

@Didiplanthis

Don't do this to yourself.
Medicine is a qualification not a life sentence.
Let it all go.

Allowing myself to be severely abused as a teenager

Ever getting together with my first husband

Not doing Maths at uni (I did a much more useless subject which was fun but not as good career wise)

@Shefliesonherownwings

I'm so sorry, from my heart, about your DD.

I wish things could have been different for you too.

It's not your fault.

I wish I'd been a better housemate. I really was awful. I would have hated to live with me and needless to say, by the time our contract ran out, no one wanted to know me despite being friends before. Looking back I'm horrified and embarrassed by my behaviour.

I also wish I'd had more sexual partners and explored that a bit more. I have always ended up in LTR. I'm 46 and have only slept with 4 people.

Having abortions. It’s completely ruined my life and obviously the unborn babies lives that I ended . I wanted to commit suicide in March because of the abortions.

My regret is not being more honest with a wonderful, beautiful man in my past whose heart I broke. I heard he died a few years ago (he was in the public eye). If I could go back in time, I'd tell him this... I think the world of you, but our lifestyles will never be compatible.

@Threebutterflies did you post about this on MN? I remember a thread but don't want to post too much so as to not upset anyone or if I'm wrong, but if you did, I've thought about you often and hoped that you're well

Been to drs back on antidepressants taking it hour by hour if any one cares.

Not insisting that DH and I move to Canada when he finished his PhD. It's going to be much harder and more expensive to move across the Atlantic with two small children and a dog, if we can even manage to do it at all.

@Always4Brenner I didn't see your earlier post because there are so many. How are you doing? Did the Dr tell you what to expect?

@crymeout
yes i did a couple of threads on here . I’m glad I did as I was asking if my kids would be better off without me ( when I was really suicidal) and the replies really helped me . I decided I’ve ruined my own life but it wouldn’t be fair to ruin there’s to . So even though my abortions haunt me everyday I keep going for my kids . I wrote a lot on pregnancy choices to to try and help other women . Thanks for thinking of me x 💐

Back on the antidepressants taking it hour by hour now just get through each day till I’m gone. Into new home.

Getting married at 19 to who I thought was the one which was a nice mistake

I am only 23, but so far the biggest mistake of my life is developing alcohol addiction.

It crept up on me in my mid-teens without me even realising and before long it had me in a choke-hold. While addiction isn't a "mistake" per say, my biggest regret is not reining it in as soon as I saw a problem arising. I was 18 years old when my drinking really began to get out of control. I KNEW it was out of control, I could have sought help or told someone then but for reasons best known to myself, I dived head first into alcoholism and almost enjoyed it at first, as if it was my dirty little secret that I had.

At age 19 I was at my worst. I lied to my parents, my boyfriend, I told the most abhorrent, bare faced lies in order to keep drinking - it eats me up inside now as I've always hated liars.

I treated people disgracefully, I embarrassed myself constantly, I nearly ended up in jail and on two occasions I was very nearly killed due to dangerous circumstances I put myself in during my drunken states. I turned up to work drunk, I would drink during the day, I would turn up at the village fate or the pub already slurring my words at midday. I said awful, awful things to my boyfriend which I still cry thinking about. He is so perfect, the fact I treated him so poorly baffles me, it's like I was a completely different person when I was drinking.

I have been completely sober for almost 3 years now and my life has been transformed completely, but I am still eaten up every day by the overwhelming regret and shame that I have for my actions during that horrific period. I feel undeserving that my parents and my boyfriend stuck by me and loved me unconditionally, despite the fact I was so evil to be around.

Every day I work to make myself a better person and my relationship has never been better, but I am carrying the burden of shame and getting myself into that situation and it was the biggest mistake of my life (hopefully the only mistake I make of that magnitude in my life). I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for the monster I became, even if she is long dead now.

To the poster whose daughter is thinking of doing psychology, I didn't regret it at all. I know someone said it could be wishy washy but that wasn't my experience. Probably worth paying attention to course details.
I feel lucky that I don't have massive regrets but I do regret being scared to take up new job opportunities at times, scared I would be found out to be a failure. Now I have heard of imposter syndrome, I understand myself better, but I let so many opportunities go.

@OopsAnotherOne well done you , forgive and move on ❤️