To think two hours homework a night is not excessive for a year 10 pupil

[Challenger5]

DD 1 is adamant that two hours a night homework, is against her human rights. She has been stomping around, refusing to start her homework. DD 1 is being exceptionally rude to me swearing at me for sending her to a prison camp and claiming to be-having a nervous breakdown due to the schools expectations.

I am trying to calm her down and reason with her, that two hours a night is quite proportionate for a year 10 girl at a Grammar School. This especially as the school as stated her target grades are 7-9 in all ten GCSE subjects.

She has also informed me that her head of year as given her a after school detention, today for calling her English teacher a 'mean cow' for a poor homework mark. DD denies calling the teacher that, saying she was misheard when she pulled her face at the teacher.

DD is saying the detention is unfair and against her human rights because it is grossly an excessive punishment even if she had accidentally muttered 'mean cow' when the teacher spoke to her. DD argues that her face pulling was justified because someone has to stand up against the schools unrealistic and unreasonable levels of homework demanded.

What hours is she at school?

I think 2 hours of homework a night is too much. I'm with your DD.

I think that’s a bit much too 😬

GCSEs shouldn’t be that hard

Well done for being reasonable with her. Keep being realistic with her and reinforcing respect for her teachers isn’t optional. She will come through it if you’re consistent and keep the hugs readily available. You’re doing a great job!

2 hours a night, every night, is excessive.

But she does seem to have a bit of an obsession about 'her human rights'.

An hour is fair enough but two yeah it is too much, definitely. That's no time for any extra curricular activities either.

2 hours a night is ridiculous. 45-60 minutes is more than adequate

I think 2 hours is a lot, an hour is plenty, I'd expect some nights a bit less some a little more.

2 hours a night she will struggle to concentrate and be counter productive

It is a lot but it’s the start of GCSE’s and if she’s wanting grades of 7-9 then a lot of work does have to go into that. My DS2 got all 9’s bar 2 and 3 x A* in his A levels this year and he put in a huge amount of work. DD has just started year 10, she doesn’t have 2hrs a night, but she’s not in a grammar school. I wouldn’t entertain any stomping around or kids being rude to me as that’s where I draw the line (very lenient in many ways). I’d also tell my DD the school will issue punishments as they see fit, she probably did call the teacher a mean cow, I doubt they’d make it up

I think it’s a lot but I can imagine the standards are high in a grammar school and they expect good results from their pupils.

im in Scotland so have no real knowledge of grammar schools but presumably they select the brightest kids so think this is manageable for them

I think 2 hours a night is ridiculous.

Entirely with your daughter here. Two hours is a lot and children are under a lot of strain. Having target grades can put a lot of pressure on top. And the teacher does sound mean if she gave a detention for poor homework; however, though understandable, making faces and calling names isn't advisable.

I would have loved to have only had two hours a week of homework in the fourth form. Seems completely normal.

DS1 is in year 10 at Grammar (and one that is highly selective to boot). He gets about half an hour to an hour of homework a night. I went to grammar and I don’t remember getting more than an hours worth a night either.

Your DD is right-it’s too much.

If she is in school 9-3 then 2 hours is fine at year 10 - working hours are 9-5 so bearing in mind she has no caring duties or is running a household then schooling of 9-5 including homework is not against any rights - least of all her human rights 😅. Perhaps set her an essay on what constitutes true human rights abuse as a perspective against her own self entitled world.

I'd have given her a detention for poor homework, and she'd have a day in isolation for calling any member of staff a "mean cow", regardless of whether it was aimed at them or not.

Two hours is too much. If they need that much homework to get the grades the school expects then either the school is full of kids who only got in with tutoring, or the school is expecting too much. DS had nowhere near that much at his grammar.

It's 2 hours a night....

It sounds like she's going through a bit of a rebellious stage. It's all part of her development.

Take her for a coffee or something and explain that it's a guide, not a prescription. As long as she completes her work the best she can you're not going to enforce it strictly. If you get messages home about her poor attitude then you'll have to treat her as a child.

Also explain to her that this is now high stakes results, ultimately it's up to her but you are not being a good parent if you don't support the school.

Her behaviour toward her teacher was disgusting and you are right to pull her up.

Good for you for raising a child that can stick up for herself though. Obviously this will backfire every now and then.

It will be fine. Part of being a good parent is tearing your hair out.

90 minutes a night at GCSE and 3 hours a night at A level. Two hours seems excessive.

GCSEs shouldn't require that much work if the children are extra bright. A selective school should already have taught them to a high enough standard, so that by the time they reach GCSE exam time it isn't too difficult. At my private school we had already covered GCSE level a year or two early in most subjects, so we're well-versed in the exams and bored by the time we sat them. I got mostly As and only revised for one or two subjects.
If the school is setting that much homework and pupils are not happy it suggests they're falling short in their teaching standards.

Back the school and let them deal with her. You know she didn:t 'accidentally' mutter an unpleasant name at the teacher. She is being as unpleasant to staff at school as she is to you at home. All her human rights are a pipe dream. If the school decides to suspend her, or move her to a less ambitious class where there are other children like her, let them. She has earned it.

I'm sure we were getting about that much every night when I was in Year 10 - by the time you take into account homework for 2-3 subjects, filling 2 hours doesn't take that much! Her tantrum about it might be a sign of deeper stress and general unhappiness though. Grammar schools do tend to put more pressure on the pupils for results and maybe she's feeling that and that's why she's lashing out?

Two hours is too much. It's not conducive to good mental health.

I went to a grammar school and never did two hours a night. I went to university and did well.

Let her take the pressure off. Embrace her strong values and sense of self. One hour should be more than enough.

Not every child is an A* pupil. If rather mine got Cs with good mental health than As but felt immense stress

I'm with your daughter and it must be a pretty poor school if they have to rely on students doing all this extra study to obtain their results. My dd2's school only set 10 minutes of maths homework a week, apart from revising for tests etc, and art coursework. They still got good results!