Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think two hours homework a night is not excessive for a year 10 pupil

438 replies

Challenger5 · 03/10/2022 20:49

DD 1 is adamant that two hours a night homework, is against her human rights. She has been stomping around, refusing to start her homework. DD 1 is being exceptionally rude to me swearing at me for sending her to a prison camp and claiming to be-having a nervous breakdown due to the schools expectations.

I am trying to calm her down and reason with her, that two hours a night is quite proportionate for a year 10 girl at a Grammar School. This especially as the school as stated her target grades are 7-9 in all ten GCSE subjects.

She has also informed me that her head of year as given her a after school detention, today for calling her English teacher a 'mean cow' for a poor homework mark. DD denies calling the teacher that, saying she was misheard when she pulled her face at the teacher.

DD is saying the detention is unfair and against her human rights because it is grossly an excessive punishment even if she had accidentally muttered 'mean cow' when the teacher spoke to her. DD argues that her face pulling was justified because someone has to stand up against the schools unrealistic and unreasonable levels of homework demanded.

OP posts:
DontMakeMeShushYou · 05/10/2022 20:09

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 19:52

Maybe you should try and set up a quiet space somewhere in your house to enable your child to study then. At the very least let him / her have someone's room (yours if necessary) to do some quiet study in. Then he /she can get the bus home in time.

Or does your loud noisy family only have one room between you all to live in / sleep in too...

WTAF?

Why on god's holy earth would you assume I was talking about my own family?

Or does your loud noisy family only have one room between you all to live in / sleep in too...
How unbelievably sneery of you. As it happens my eldest is at uni so my youngest has a large 4 bedroom house to rattle around in with a plethora of rooms they can use for revision (and did, as evidenced by the full sweep of 8s and 9s in their GCSEs). But I am not so far up my own arse to not realise others in our rural community are not so privileged.

HTH

Goldenbear · 05/10/2022 20:18

Removing the emotion from the debate what is the answer then- are you suggesting there are no solutions. If no homework can be done, no revision can be completed either, do we just acquiesce and let the gap in attainment between the wealthy parts of the country and the poorer parts of the country just get worse. Government interventions that don't allow the poor state of affairs for housing are hardly going to happen anytime soon so what happens for those children in the here and now?

Bubblesandsqueak1 · 05/10/2022 20:19

I think 2 hours a night is way to much after being at school 7 hours should be no more then a hour tops a night

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 20:31

DontMakeMeShushYou · 05/10/2022 20:09

WTAF?

Why on god's holy earth would you assume I was talking about my own family?

Or does your loud noisy family only have one room between you all to live in / sleep in too...
How unbelievably sneery of you. As it happens my eldest is at uni so my youngest has a large 4 bedroom house to rattle around in with a plethora of rooms they can use for revision (and did, as evidenced by the full sweep of 8s and 9s in their GCSEs). But I am not so far up my own arse to not realise others in our rural community are not so privileged.

HTH

I have no idea of your living circumstances. Why would I? And why would you be shocked to think I was talking about your family when you've put it out there. Or are you offended because you do have lots of room and I thought you didn't? You sound sneery yourself.

Anyway, whatever people's circumstances, people need to do what they can. Find a quiet space. Use headphones to block out the noise. What ever it takes to help the children in these environments to create better opportunities for themselves. It won't work for everyone. Sometimes the challenges are too great. But there does seem to be a tendancy to find excuses rather than solutions on this thread.

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 20:38

Surely it's unusual to have spare rooms/ space for quiet study? I don't know any families with that luxury.

Not a bedroom or anything? My child is sat in my bedroom right now studying.

spongedog · 05/10/2022 20:51

I am horrified at how little homework that is for a GRAMMAR school GCSE top grade student. 10 hours a week! That includes weekends. So it is not 2 hrs per night. GCSEs now are much easier than they ever were. But if that environment is not right for your DD then its not right. But moving schools in Year 10-11 is difficult for many obvious reasons. She is clearly very able but not liking the pressure - can you reduce that in anyway?

DontMakeMeShushYou · 05/10/2022 20:54

Goldenbear · 05/10/2022 20:18

Removing the emotion from the debate what is the answer then- are you suggesting there are no solutions. If no homework can be done, no revision can be completed either, do we just acquiesce and let the gap in attainment between the wealthy parts of the country and the poorer parts of the country just get worse. Government interventions that don't allow the poor state of affairs for housing are hardly going to happen anytime soon so what happens for those children in the here and now?

Honestly, I don't know what the answer is and we probably do have to accept that there will never be a completely level playing field.

I would like to see more support for people with disabilities and health conditions. Young carers should not be a thing.

I would extend the school day so that sufficient independent work ('homework') and revision could take place at school, and I'd like to see much better resourced schools, able to provide much more bespoke support so pupils can reach their full potential.

Obviously all that would be hugely expensive and is unlikely to happen any time soon. In the meantime I would like to see a little more understanding and humility from those who are more fortunate. A realisation of the extent that luck has played in their good fortune. No child asks to be born into a family which is poor, suffers from ill-health, or where their parents don't value education.

Challenger5 · 05/10/2022 21:03

I wonder if this girl ever did two hours a night homework !

OP posts:
DontMakeMeShushYou · 05/10/2022 21:05

I have no idea of your living circumstances. Why would I? And why would you be shocked to think I was talking about your family when you've put it out there.

Because I didn't 'put it out there'. I made a remark about rural deprivation with no reference to my own family circumstances.

AbreathofFrenchair · 05/10/2022 21:08

Challenger5 · 03/10/2022 20:49

DD 1 is adamant that two hours a night homework, is against her human rights. She has been stomping around, refusing to start her homework. DD 1 is being exceptionally rude to me swearing at me for sending her to a prison camp and claiming to be-having a nervous breakdown due to the schools expectations.

I am trying to calm her down and reason with her, that two hours a night is quite proportionate for a year 10 girl at a Grammar School. This especially as the school as stated her target grades are 7-9 in all ten GCSE subjects.

She has also informed me that her head of year as given her a after school detention, today for calling her English teacher a 'mean cow' for a poor homework mark. DD denies calling the teacher that, saying she was misheard when she pulled her face at the teacher.

DD is saying the detention is unfair and against her human rights because it is grossly an excessive punishment even if she had accidentally muttered 'mean cow' when the teacher spoke to her. DD argues that her face pulling was justified because someone has to stand up against the schools unrealistic and unreasonable levels of homework demanded.

Seems a lot but then our school sets about 2 hours a week for year 10. School gets better results than the grammar too and my child is expected to get 8/9 across the board.

Is it 2 hours of set work a night or are you expecting her to do 2 hours of independent learning?

sjxoxo · 05/10/2022 21:10

I agree two hours is too much. I don’t really understand why homework needs to be so excessive in the UK. Isn’t it like doing overtime at work? No one does two hours every day. I’m with your DD I’m afraid! Ok for a big project. But surely she’s got no evening time is she’s doing 2 hours every night. X

Challenger5 · 05/10/2022 21:10

A bit of light relief from the video, as DD1 has just given me a detention letter for me to sign for another after school detention for arguing this time about socks....

I am furious with her...

OP posts:
sheepdogdelight · 05/10/2022 21:11

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 20:38

Surely it's unusual to have spare rooms/ space for quiet study? I don't know any families with that luxury.

Not a bedroom or anything? My child is sat in my bedroom right now studying.

Some DC don't have space for a desk in their bedrooms.
Some DC share with siblings.
The secondary schools that are open after school for study will soon be stopping this to save costs (my DC's school is).

sheepdogdelight · 05/10/2022 21:15

Challenger5 · 05/10/2022 21:10

A bit of light relief from the video, as DD1 has just given me a detention letter for me to sign for another after school detention for arguing this time about socks....

I am furious with her...

Is she allowed to do homework in detention? Maybe you could request she gets 2 hour daily detentions?

DD once had an argument with a teacher about socks too. in his case, he won (he was arguing that he was wearing his PE socks to save putting them in his bag but was not intending to wear them in any lesson other than PE and, as she'd stopped him by the school gate she had no proof otherwise). I think a lot of teenagers just like to argue :)

Noiamnotshe · 05/10/2022 21:16

Well yes it is excessive and shouldn't be allowed its all work and no play when so they get time to do anything else it is utterly ridiculous but this is how it is now and presumably when she took her 11plus to go to grammar school they were quite clear that this is how it is so wail n flail as much as she likes I'm afraid it's tough shite but yes very unreasonable and children should do their school learning in school if you ask me with only max 1 hour extra a day less stress less mental health issues less self harm less family fights n tension less suicides

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 21:18

sheepdogdelight · 05/10/2022 21:11

Some DC don't have space for a desk in their bedrooms.
Some DC share with siblings.
The secondary schools that are open after school for study will soon be stopping this to save costs (my DC's school is).

You do the best with what you've got. If you don't have a desk then use a bean bag lap tray. And let the kids do that in your room.

PinkSyCo · 05/10/2022 21:21

9 hours of studying per day is too much. Kids need their downtime.

Cuppasoupmonster · 05/10/2022 21:25

It’s sad isn’t it? Childhood is basically the best time of your life, it’s near constant stress afterwards. Should we really spend 9 hours a day grooming them for the world of work? I’m not a homeschool type and I agree with mainstream education but this is way over the top.

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 21:27

PinkSyCo · 05/10/2022 21:21

9 hours of studying per day is too much. Kids need their downtime.

It's not 9 hours. But don't bother then if you think it's too much for your children. 🙄

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 21:28

Cuppasoupmonster · 05/10/2022 21:25

It’s sad isn’t it? Childhood is basically the best time of your life, it’s near constant stress afterwards. Should we really spend 9 hours a day grooming them for the world of work? I’m not a homeschool type and I agree with mainstream education but this is way over the top.

What's sad is the lack of drive, responsibility and aspirations from those who could, but encourage their children not to.

PinkSyCo · 05/10/2022 21:46

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 21:27

It's not 9 hours. But don't bother then if you think it's too much for your children. 🙄

What’s with the eye rolling? No need for it just because I may have a different opinion to you. Grow up.

Sarasandman · 05/10/2022 21:53

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 20:38

Surely it's unusual to have spare rooms/ space for quiet study? I don't know any families with that luxury.

Not a bedroom or anything? My child is sat in my bedroom right now studying.

Usually bedrooms are shared.

sheepdogdelight · 05/10/2022 21:56

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 21:28

What's sad is the lack of drive, responsibility and aspirations from those who could, but encourage their children not to.

Is anyone encouraging their children not to? There is a difference between not "forcing" your child to study (and if anyone can tell me how you force a child to study I'd love to know - you can insist they sit down and produce something but you can't enforce its quality or make them learn if they don't want to/can't) and actively encouraging them not to.

If one of the aims is to encourage a good work ethic, then wanting to work because you see it as a useful and valuable thing is the point. Not working solely because school (or your parent) makes you.

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 21:57

Sarasandman · 05/10/2022 21:53

Usually bedrooms are shared.

Do you share your bedroom with your kids? What stops you from letting them use your bedroom in the evening for some study time. Not their shared bedroom. Your bedroom.

FatKyle · 05/10/2022 22:00

sheepdogdelight · 05/10/2022 21:56

Is anyone encouraging their children not to? There is a difference between not "forcing" your child to study (and if anyone can tell me how you force a child to study I'd love to know - you can insist they sit down and produce something but you can't enforce its quality or make them learn if they don't want to/can't) and actively encouraging them not to.

If one of the aims is to encourage a good work ethic, then wanting to work because you see it as a useful and valuable thing is the point. Not working solely because school (or your parent) makes you.

I don't force my kids. But I do everything I can to give them the space to do their work in the evening. I certainly wouldn't be encouraging them not to because it's all too much for them. And the comments from many that two hours is too much does not instill a great work ethic. That attitude spills over to children.