To be bloody offended

[bagpuss90]

My SIL was over yesterday - she’s a foster carer. I’d been sorting through old photo albums of my kids. She was looking through one and there were pics of my kids in the bath - covered in bubbles , bubble on their heads , noses etc. She said how inappropriate it was and if she’d known me back then she would have reported it as a safeguarding issue . They were innocent pics - no social media back then , only ever going to be viewed by me and the kids dad ffs. She’s not the kids aunt - she’s my current partners sister . I appreciate as a foster carer she may see things differently-but bloody hell

It's a silly comment. Don't give it headspace and go about with your day.

It's absolutely not inappropriate. What a weirdo.

Yanbu. Completely out of order to have said that. Don't we all have photos like that to some degree. I hope you told her how uncalled for her comment was ?

Don't 90% of parents have these photos in albums? I know my mum and MIL do 😂

I'd not give it any further headspace, it's more weird she's seeing something inappropriate in the photos!

She was being very goady - pretty much calling you some kind of kiddly fiddler??

I would not have her in my house tbh, cos she has made some random judgement about you - that is godam awful

I would have marched her straight out the door the dodgy little cowbag

I have bath pictures of my kids - smiley faces, bubbles everywhere.

That’s really silly - no right to say it and makes no sense. They’re your kids in the bath in your own photo album. Think nothing more about it, if she brings it up again suggest she does some training on safeguarding herself.

Huh

yanbu, an odd comment indeed!

I’ve got photos like that of my children and grandchild. It’s completely normal. Your SIL is being ridiculous. I’d keep her at arms length if that’s how she interpret s something so innocent.

Oh dear, she'd report me then. I have lots of photos of my kids and their cousins in the bath. They are 5 and under and their private parts are covered. They arent online but they are printed in various albums I have. My siblings are all the same.

She is the weird one!

I know a woman like this - the phrase "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing" was never so apt. She is some sort of social worker / health visitor who deals with children on the at risk register, or who have been removed from their parents. She however cannot separate the awful situations she deals with at work from her own children or children she comes across at school or playgroup.

Every parent is abusive. Everyone is just waiting for the right opportunity to abuse a child. Face painting at nursery not allowed as it was a "safeguarding issue" to have her child in such close proximity with an adult. A parent who removed her kicking and screaming child, rugby ball style, from a party when they refused to leave was reported to the police. She is completely unhinged.

That’s absolutely insulting. She needs to wind her neck in!

It’s left a bad taste that’s for sure

omg there must be literally millions of versions of this photograph in homes all over the country. I have one on my fridge.

Total misuse of the word 'safe guarding'. As the previous poster said " a little bit of knowledge " etc.

@bagpuss90

ignore the stupid cow. Distance yourself from someone so ridiculous!!

She getting confused about what is appropriate in a loving family setting vs in a foster care situation. She probably has been told that taking photos of children in the bath is never ok and in her work that’s correct.

Forget it.

Lol what an idiot. I have photos of my kid in the bath. I think we all do. I'd be concerned that she is looking at a clearly innocent picture and making an inappropriate conclusion

I think it's completely normal in family situations to have photos like that. I certainly have plenty of photos of my toddler in the bath with bubbles on his head and things. I just make sure I take them from an angle where his genitals are not visible. I also share them with close family (through private chats not on social media)

I'd make the point that foster carers are bound to rules which aren't applicable in a usual family setting and if she didn't concede that she was wrong I'd wind down your relationship with this woman as she is a clear liability.

I should add that I also work in a professional role with children where I am trained in safeguarding procedures and when to report

She is being ridiculous and you should tell her so!

I would imagine if she had reported you she’d have been laughed at. Take no notice of the stupid woman. We all take pictures of our children like that and it’s perfectly normal. Sounds like she’s trying to wind you up

Yes she is being ridiculous, she would be reporting me to the police as I have a picture of my child streaking through the garden this summer from behind (no genitals on show) it was just a hilarious moment as DC just stripped off with no warning and ran round the garden in just sandals. I am not going to post it anywhere was just a funny memory! It may well go in an album to be laughed at in a few years.

Very weird from her. I do have a friend that sends me images I find inappropriate of her child (very much on display in/after the bath etc). I don’t think it’s inappropriate for her to have them, I do think it’s inappropriate to send them. I just delete them straight away as don’t want them on my phone. We aren’t that close and I barely know her child, I don’t know why she does it!

She's ridiculous, but maybe she needs to spend more time around non-abused children.

That is a huge implied accusation to make - as long as these photos are kept within immediate family there is no issue.

Last time she looks through family photos - you could just say as she is not immediate family is it inappropriate and a safeguarding issue.