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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be bloody offended

79 replies

bagpuss90 · 03/10/2022 10:30

My SIL was over yesterday - she’s a foster carer. I’d been sorting through old photo albums of my kids. She was looking through one and there were pics of my kids in the bath - covered in bubbles , bubble on their heads , noses etc. She said how inappropriate it was and if she’d known me back then she would have reported it as a safeguarding issue . They were innocent pics - no social media back then , only ever going to be viewed by me and the kids dad ffs. She’s not the kids aunt - she’s my current partners sister . I appreciate as a foster carer she may see things differently-but bloody hell

OP posts:
SuperCamp · 03/10/2022 12:44

How ridiculous.

I dare say there are strict rules about pics of foster kids, but she would look a total idiot if she reported you for a family pic like that.

I would be eye rolling rather than offended though as it is too preposterous to take personally and she is the one making a fool of herself .

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 03/10/2022 12:44

That is someone I would not have in my house again, she has practically accused you of a heinous crime.

Sunnyqueen · 03/10/2022 12:45

People like her are the reason social services are so overrun, busybodies making complaints up. You would think foster carers would know better but a lot of them seem to develop holier than thou complexes. I would stay well away from her It sounds like she will report you for anything that doesn't fit within her own warped parameters.

MaverickSnoopy · 03/10/2022 12:45

I'd recommend new safeguarding training. I've done lots and this absolutely is not a concern. It would be a concern if there was malicious intent.

I've got lots of these types of photos of our children. Most parents do.

NoSquirrels · 03/10/2022 12:45

That’s absolutely ludicrous. Ignore!

SuSen · 03/10/2022 12:48

Current SIL needs to get a grip. It's not a safeguarding issue if it's an innocent bathtime photo that was never showed on social media.
How about you accuse her of being a pervert for looking at the photo?! That's as ridiculous as her comment. 🤔

ApolloandDaphne · 03/10/2022 13:22

She is being ridiculous. I am a retired SW who used to work in child protection and I have photos of my kids like that when they were small. There is no safeguarding concern at all.

bagpuss90 · 03/10/2022 14:55

I told her I thought everyone did this . Might add my kids are in their 20s now ! Don’t somehow think they’d give a shit !

OP posts:
Calandor · 03/10/2022 19:29

She's a knob. Me and DP and all my cousins have plenty of old bath photos from when we were kids in decade old albums. They're funny and cute and hardly going anywhere except the back of the cupboard.

Blowyourowntrumpet · 03/10/2022 19:31

She sounds unhinged

Chattycathydoll · 03/10/2022 19:32

Was she abused & is now projecting as well as fostering to subconsciously rescue the child she was then? 🤔

LikeAStar1994 · 03/10/2022 19:35

I would have laughed in her face. She is totally batshit. It seems they let anybody become Foster Carers now.

Just look at Amber McElravy.

Oneandone · 03/10/2022 19:41

I wouldn't put a picture like that on Facebook. Family photo album is fine though, especially one from 20 years ago. YANBU

Maybe she's done some recent training and can't think logically outside of it.

LaughingCat · 03/10/2022 20:15

Haaaaa! Oh, what a precious lovey. Weren’t those the photos you take to embarrass your kids with on their wedding day, right?

Georgeskitchen · 03/10/2022 20:45

I have a photo of my 2 toddler sons running around naked in our back garden, about 30 years ago. Does she want my name and address to report me to the police?

HairyMothballs · 03/10/2022 20:48

She's quite ridiculous.

userxx · 03/10/2022 20:58

Absolutely ridiculous.

blubberyboo · 03/10/2022 21:09

what did your partner say?
I’d be telling him his sister has a dirty mind and is no longer welcome in my house

Imissmoominmama · 03/10/2022 21:23

I have a photo of DS2, aged around 3, standing absolutely naked on the sill of our bay window, looking out and waving to his dad (who took the photo to show me what he was up to as I was cooking dinner). DH was met with that sight as he returned home from work.

This was before camera phones- I had that one developed in Boots!

Ladysodor · 05/10/2022 17:01

Ignore the silly bint!

Ladysodor · 05/10/2022 17:02

Ignore the silly bint.

OopsAnotherOne · 05/10/2022 17:05

Don't stress at all OP, it's a ridiculous accusation. Somewhere in an album there's a photo of me like that as a child, and my DP's mother has a photo of my DP as a child in the bath covered head to toe in shaving foam that she’s hung on the wall for all to see! Nothing weird, nothing inappropriate.
She sounds like a lunatic - wait until you tell her that you actually bathed your child, while they were NAKED! And that even now as a fully grown adult, you have the audacity to shower naked too!

Laurdo · 05/10/2022 17:13

My parents are foster carers and take pictures of my baby nephew in the bath etc.

She's just a weirdo trying to make herself sound important. Ignore her. If she makes any comments again just say "report me then!"

TheRubyRedshoes · 05/10/2022 17:16

Op as others have said I would feel extremely nervous having her around again.

I

courgettigreensadwater · 05/10/2022 17:18

What a nob. Don't even think about it again.

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