I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

OP you are ignoring all of the posters asking you for a breakdown of your outgoings. On your income (and DH's £350 per month) and with no childcare costs and a mortgage of £800 per month, even with the rise in energy costs you should not be struggling.

How much is your car finance? Any other debt other than student loan? This just doesn't add up.

As for the increased energy cost, cancel your direct debit and pay for what you actually use.

Exactly the same advice was given to a woman on here yesterday. If you can’t afford to live on one wage, someone has to earn some more money.

How much is the student debt and are you massively over contributing to your pension as the maths don't add up.

Also, and I'll probably get backlash for this, I fail to see how anyone can justify the expense of a pet when they are struggling to pay bills. Pets are a luxury not a necessity.

I think there are two things to bottom out OP:

1. Where is bulbs figure coming from? If you look at your annual usage x the new rates/ 12 does their figure add up? If it does, how can you reduce usage? If not dispute the cost with bulb.

2. where is your money actually going? A £180 increase on fuel is a lot don't get me wrong, but if you were living within £180 of your monthly income you must have a lot more expenditure than you're detailing here, some of which might be able to be trimmed. Have you ever sat down and listed out your expenditure to see where your salary goes over a month?

OP I can only second what others have said on here already:
What your energy provider wants to direct-debit you, and your actual energy costs, are two pairs of shoes, just keep the direct debit as low as possible (phone them up if need be) and pay for your actual usage/top up accordingly every month.
I don't think you should sell your house,stay put - but you absolutely need to take a look at your outgoings - there is a bug discrepancy there that needs sorting.
Also, your DP will soon be able to work more, when your little one is older: You just need to hang on a bit longer. Can he do anything else in the meantime that allows him to work from home a few hours here and there?

Can you take a couple of weeks of unpaid parental leave and he can use it to make some? Or would that still not be worth it? Taking into account you wouldn't be using the car.

Completely missing the point but I'm intrigued to find out where the cheapest area is?

It sounds like you can't afford to have a pet. It's not an essential unless it's a seeing eye dog or other support animal.

This. My friend worked evenings and her DH worked the days so they had no childcare bill. Places like Tesco and Sainsburys pay OK and you can often get 4-6 hour shifts that start at 6 or 8pm. It would give you enough to get you through the winter.

I know several people who have successfully rented out rooms with infants in the house. They didn't go through a letting agent, they rented to friends, or friends-of-friends, or sometimes new starters at their work place who had just moved to the area. Worked really well, one of the tenants ended up being one of the baby's godparents.

FGS can people stop insinuating that the OP should give up her dog? Rescues are already overwhelmed with pets from people who genuinely can't afford to look after them.

They don't need another one from someone who just needs to take a bit more care with budgeting what is almost certainly more than enough money to live on.

I don’t think anyone can advise properly until you give a better breakdown of your outgoings - how much is council tax, water, insurances, student loan payments, pension and payments for the car.

On the face of it you should be ok even with the increase with the bills and I am puzzled why you are skimming over most questions about your outgoings ?

Can you hire out the wood shop?

We do. I think it's pretty dire that everyone is suggesting that the child would be better off farmed out so that the OP's husband can earn the minimum wage in a pub. There was also some crazy idea that he could do Deliveroo deliveries or something and take the child with him.

As things stand, the OP's child is being well looked after by one of the two people who cares most about him. No the husband shouldn't go out to work in the evenings every day. I've been a SAHM and there is no way I could have done an evening shift at work too.

OP, I think your biggest problem is your supplier who sounds to be plucking figures out of thin air. I'd keep reading your meter, every day if necessary, and putting in your daily readings online. That way you can at least keep track of what you're actually using (and, potentially, paying).

The only other thing that i wonder is whether you could use the car less, if you don't want to swap back to a petrol one. That's clearly an expensive thing to run at the moment.

Ignore the comments about your house being too big etc. It's great that you're in the position you're in at the age of 31. There are some odd ideas about houses on here.

Absolutely ridiculous.

There would be exactly the same advice as given here on this thread. If you absolutely cannot afford to heat your home then it’s quite reasonable and sensible to say that the SAHP needs to get a part-time job to make up the difference and alleviate the pressure. And that’s been said to SAHMs on many threads over the years.

You need to list your outgoings as at the moment it doesn’t add up. Small mortgage, Spotify, gas/electricity (even at those prices) plus council tax, water and pet insurance can’t add up to £3000.

(Sorry, I expect the threads moved now, but I couldn’t let that stupid statement go)

I agree that your direct debit do not sound right, there is a cap now on unit rates...work it out by going on martin lewis website, they have a energy usage calculator.

DH’s side hustle is usually what we save for the holiday fund, we’ve been putting it into rainy day funds instead its a rainy day now

^ This

You earn the same as my dh - I am a SAHM we have 6 children. Tbh i dont feel like we are struggling at the moment - we are not rolling around in spare cash(!) but im not worrying about heating etc.

we are only just buying our first house (we are 40) which is £170,000 - hopefully moving on friday. Perhaps it may be that you need to reduce the housing outgoing - to me your house does seem expensive ! I do live in a very cheap place though !

Bulb did similar to our DD - way above what I expect our usage to be. However, you can really easily log into your account and adjust the monthly amount. I reduced ours by £100 from their suggestion and - using meter read amounts each month - have never gone above the monthly amount I set… never mind their suggestion. I’ve left it at the value I set to build up a cushion for when we use more energy through the winter. But I don’t think our monthly usage will get close to what they set.

As others have said - look at your previous usage over the last year, and work out what that will cost. I’m sure you’ll find you can then set the DD lower than their automatic amount. And in my experience changing the amount is an easy online action (no need for discussion with anyone at bulb!)

I would sell to be honest a Victorian house just isn't energy efficient at all. It's probably going to cost £££££ to get it up to scratch . I would get DH to get an evening job and start preparing to have a career. DC only stay little for a very small period in time they will be at school before you know it.

@girlmom21

He can't retire yet otherwise he would lose his pension.

So your monthly take home pay is £3,575 + £350 and your mortgage is £800 and you’re struggling?

if your lifestyle is so frugal I can’t see how you can’t afford a few hundred pounds extra power costs?