I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

The bill is not capped. The price per unit is capped. If you use a lot of units then your bill can go over the 2500.

OP - That is a huge salary but I am guessing your mortgage is huge. Have you had a really good look at what you spend - it is amazing how money can leak all over the place. I have managed for years on a fraction of your money though our mortgage is tiny. We budget really tightly though - I use an app called You Need a Budget - it is not free but I found it was the best for me and I recon it has saved me what I spend on it because I can see where every penny goes. And I can see how I am managing over time and save up for good things like holidays.

Just wanted to say OP that all I could focus on is how lovely you and your DH sound. And you've had such a lot to cope with over the years. The fact you're doing as well as you are is amazing. You've got this and you're going to be OK.

Wishing you so much happiness and luck and success.

And try to ignore the baiters on MN. There are so many at times!!

Stop shopping at morrisons - from my last 2 visits i think it is the moat expensive store. Swap to Sainsburys

Thankfully, our mortgage fix will end the year DS goes to pre-school and we’ll get the 30 free hours. The plan is for DH to pick up more shifts at this point while he builds the business. He’ll also gig again which previously contributed about £200 a month.

Ive just mentioned him renting out his workshop and he likes the idea. There isn’t a huge amount of tools etc but he says it’s often the space that’s the problem, people will bring their own tools.

You DH doesn’t need a job. 60k is a wage that a small family should comfortably be able to live off. Call the energy company and refuse to pay that ridiculous amount. Find others ways to make cuts around your life.

also have hope. Hope that We will get through this awful time once we have a new government who will help us thrive not just survive.

Looking after 1 toddler he will get some free time in day - child will still nap. Op wfh x 2 so is there to take over at 5pm no commute. 6-11pm x 3 or 2 evenings and a day at weekend would make a massive difference as he’s not paying tax it’s all income.
He’s working a bit (£350 - approx 35 hours a month) but if he can double it life is looking a lot easier it’s pure extra cash for them.
15 or 16 hours a week is very doable - he’s got a car, private quiet office at home (could do call centre work) etc
Supermarket job might also come with a discount card and access to reduced sticker bargains it’s not just the cash he makes or like I said earlier a hospitality job might include a free meal.

That’s good about workshop anything to bring in income.
Can he not gig now - assume most are evenings or weekends ideal for working around toddler.
Slightly left field but if he’s musical is he at all interested in running kids music classes - couple a week and could take toddler with him. DD used to go to some run by a lady not a franchise. Or music lessons from home in person or online early evening when you can have toddler.

@Theyarellthesame just popped on to say well done.

You have gained an education, a decent job, have made a family, a home for yourself and your family (including SIL which is fab) you have dreams and aspirations and importantly when you’ve hit a problem you are able to ask for advice.

I think you’ve some good advice and pointers (ignore the haters and those that didn’t bother reading the thread properly) I just wanted to say all the best. I know you have not had an easy start but you should be so proud of where you are now. Unless you have an understanding of impact of a highly dysfunctional childhood it’s impossible to underestimate the damage it can cause.

you will get through this and thrive because you have the drive to succeed and the humility to seek answers when needed.
your little one picked a great mum.

Hi, sorry I haven’t read the full thread, but I have read lots and all your bits. You have done so well. You are an absolute inspiration to me.
I have 2 suggestions. Your sister in law is an orphan and as such should qualify for the full student maintenance loan as an Independent Student. Most universities offer bursaries in those circumstances, generally about £2000, with additional help during the holidays so it’s really worth checking that she gets everything she is entitled to, she might not need to take on so many hours then.You may not want to charge her rent, but I’m sure she would want to help out so maybe her brother could also ask that she does a week of childcare in each holiday period, should then be able to make a few more ukuleles!
I would also suggest that your husband registers as a childminder. 1 additional toddler to care for is manageable and would treble his income.
I hope it works out for you.

for those of you who are surprised at the high council tax rates in different parts of the country, I give you Gateshead - in the N.E. - we pay an arm and a leg!
Band Property value (as set April 1991) 2022/23 Council Tax
A up to £40,000 £1,475.58
B £40,001 - £52,000 £1,721.50
C £52,001 - £68,000 £1,967.43
D £68,001 - £88,000 £2,213.36
E £88,001 - £120,000 £2,705.23
F £120,001 - £160,000 £3,197.08
G £160,001 - £320,000 £3,688.94
H More than £320,000 £4,426.72

OP, my heart goes out to you, 34 pages of people telling you where you're going wrong in your life. Yet your family sounds lovely, I have every admiration for people who appreciate and support teenagers/young adults who have lost their parents I was very touched to hear your take on that and feel bad for you trying to justify and explain every aspect of your set up and spending.

If we look at your original post, the first problem you asked about - energy costs: Bulb are taking the piss - they can ask you to pay anything and everything, I was offered a monthly direct debit of over £450 a month by my suppliers (EonNext) and now I've negotiated it down to £150. Don't be bullied - as you found out they were playing you like a violin, you have credit! So get that sorted first. Personally I might think that at age 31 your pension contributions are over the top so if you could get that reduced you'd be fine wouldn't you, its a simple fix. But please don't take all the intense criticism on board - if you come on MN and say can you tell me where I am going wrong I promise that people will queue up to tell you.

You sound lovely OP - and you sound like you have a lovely family and a very responsible young sister in law. your food seems high - maybe try an aldi or something when you are in town for your job? Cut down your pension a bit ( a lot?) till your kid or kids are in school. Could you let a room on a B&B basis during term time? Check with your mortgage provider, house insurer, and council (I don't know what the rules are) but if you are in a rural area that is not very touristy then there might be few places for people to stay for weddings, family occasions? www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/airbnb-hosting/

Can you rent your car out? If you are in a rural area it might help someone else on the days you are not working. (google 'rent your car out - there are loads of firms though I have no experience of this). If you own your car outright that might make the paperwork easier.

When our income dropped massively I rang all our insurers and massively increased the excess we'd pay if we claimed - our excess on the car is £500. This reduced the bills quite a bit. Also can you join a credit union? www.findyourcreditunion.co.uk/ they may save you on loans for things if you need them. Also that might provide peace of mind meaning you can cut down on what you keep in your rainy day fund.

Sell stuff - on Ebay or Depop. Especially when you've had baby 2, if that is your family complete then get everything out-grown onto Ebay. And your maternity gear! Your DH could manage that perhaps whilst juggling baby.

Do you use cash back sites like Quidco? That can add up especially if you do online shopping at Christmas.

Lastly can DH do small non-commission things that might sell in the run up to Christmas - key rings 'tattood' with interest pictures (blokey interest type things like guitars and fishing), book marks, or small book stands. Small and fast sales? On Etsy or Folksy?

Good luck!

Not sure how you are spending that much on energy in a semi detached house. What is your annual KWh usage? I'm paying about £250 a month after all increases with the same amount of credit as you in an old detached house that gets terribly cold due to poor insulation and a tag on conservatory on the kitchen. You need to check your usage as it must be wild for that amount a month?

In what universe is a 4 bedroom, 3 story house with a double garage basic?

I think there will be outgoings you can cut down on OP. If your DP works say two more evenings a week that would really help too.

Definitely shop around when your car insurance renewal is up. I recently passed my test and it cost £100 for the year to add me onto our car insurance for a new, fairly expensive car. I was surprised but my husband said because I'm in my 30s and not 17 they don't see me as a massive risk, even though I'm newly qualified.

everything looks standard I’d change gas and electric suppliers asap if you can and go for monthly pay for what you use instead of estimates this is what I’ve done for years so I’m only paying for what I use. Your car insurance seems really expensive mines been around £40 a month for years and I’m early 30s and even now with a very expensive car it’s still the same price, could you look into quotes ? The pet insurance seems very expensive aswell could you try a cheaper provider ? Animal friends have some cheap prices for decent cover some of the top ones are around £60 from what I’ve seen. Also I’d pay way less into your pension or not at all and revisit that part in the future when you and Dh have more money coming in, it’s a big chunk of your wage atm the rest all seems normal spending tbh, depending on what you watch it might be cheaper to cancel the tv licence and do a Netflix/Amazon subscription only. Your council tax is over double of mine but there’s nothing you can do with that as that’s also a high cost maybe check it’s in the right tax band ?

OP, I think you are making a huge success of your life. It's a matter of getting through what is likely to be a relatively short lived energy crisis. If renting out the wood shop space isn't enough then I hope that you'll be able to find the savings – get your energy direct debit down (they all ask more than they need to) and maybe cut back on groceries – so that you can stay put in what is clearly your perfect house. All the very best to you and your family!

@Theyarellthesame may be obvious...but if you are going to rent your workshop out, make sure you factor in electric/fuel usage by renter.

Oh please , can’t afford to heat your house but you pay £750 in a pension 😂😂priorities eh?

My energy is with bulb, it's £115 a month, they have just decreased it from £125. Look at you actual usage - it must be very high for a prediction so high. 3-5 adults here 3 storey 4 bed townhouse (resident numbers vary due to university)

i really want to tell you that this is not your fault OP. It’s the government that has caused a wage that was very liveable to borderline poverty.

OP has done everything right and shouldn’t be having to make any more cuts in their life.

I just really wanted to say , well done on turning your life around from such a poor start, and on supporting your SIL after the death of her parents.
She is lucky to have you by her side.

Most councils allow you to pay your council tax over 12 months rather than the traditional 10 months, so that is another way to help with cashflow.

I second a PP on selling old clothes etc. I have made over £500 in 12 months, selling my clothes, DD's clothes, books, makeup, jewellery, all sorts of things, all on Vinted. I kept the money in there until I booked our holiday (Travelodge by the sea).

I also have £60 sat on topcashback waiting for Christmas. It just means clcking via them to record it on items you would be buying anyway.

Regarding your food shopping, Morrisons is cheap anyway, but pick a few brands to downscale and see if you like the taste. Some you will, some you won't. I still buy Heinz products for example as it is the only ketchup that I like the taste of, and I figure we all have to have some sort of treat or what's the point.

I think you may well have to take a hit on the pension, you do need to live for now and not the future to a degree as you have to be able to afford to live now. I can understand your need for security given your upbringing. but like I said earlier, please ensure that you get accountant/IFE advice first or you could end up no better off.

If I was in your position, I'd ask DH to get weekend or weekday evening work. It will top up the household income and you can watch your child during that time.

My mum worked nights (7pm-12pm, sometimes more, 6pm-1am) when us three were little, I think two to four nights a week. But during the day she was at home with us while my Dad worked.

My parents had to do it in order to afford our house, which was quite big. I think that'd be a good solution. She worked at an out of hours healthcare provider as a call handler, so was able to do evening hours (if that's helpful)

@Theyarellthesame

You say your actual usage during summer was £240 a month. That's incredibly high - for comparison ours was £78 in august (obviously central heating was off). I would firstly buy a smart plug thing that measures the energy use of each device, then audit all the things (24 hours per device) that stay on for at least 6 hours a day ... could be something is malfunctioning.

Secondly are you using a tumble dryer frequently? If so can you reduce use by using the line on fine days, airers the rest of the time only using the dryer when absolutely necessary. If used a lot investigate a heat pump dryer (we have one) costs very little to run.

Thirdly - lights, are they being left on unnecessarily, what about radios, tv? What tools are used, are they power hungry?

It's a bit of detective work but I'm convinced your bill should be half what you are paying or less

I am sure the op mentioned student loans I could be wrong though.