I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

You’re 31 with a 4 bedroom house, an expensive dog, cars, a healthy food budget and you’re paying 4 times as much into a pension as I was at that age. I’d say you’re doing fine.

This sums it up perfectly.

My comment on the end of that quote disappeared.

That sums it up perfectly.

Made easy because so many people can't be arsed to look at their bills, or won't spend 5 minutes checking they're accurate.

Or believe tabloid crap about 'the price is fixed at £2500' without actually finding out for themselves how a bill is calculated.

Or see it as a bizarre point of pride that 'they're bad at maths'. No-one would go round shouting that they can't read the books they were given in primary school, yet it seems that half the country can't do the maths they were taught at the same age.

Oh don't worry, waaay ahead of you on that one! We have tried every food under the sun and the only thing that's kept him 'well' for any length of time has been raw. The problem is if he gets any kind of illness anywhere, it flares up because his body starts attacking itself rather than the infection. Before raw, he used to get tons of little skin infections/ ear infections etc because he's a very yeasty dog. The more carbs he eats basically the worse the yeast gets. Every yeast overgrowth used to come with a secondary bacterial infection which would then result in his autoimmune flaring and from a tiny infection most dogs would just shake off, he'd end up in the vets for a week on deaths door.

We have to be so careful with him. Any scratches or little tummy upsets or even tooth decay can cause his autoimmune to trigger and make him really really poorly.

Pre-raw he'd be poorly maybe once every 8 weeks, post raw it's about twice a year.

It makes me so sad and angry to hear some posters suggesting to OP to rehome her dog.

If she was asking for advice on whether she should buy a dog then that is a different matter but her dog is already 'here'.

Our dog is a much most 😂 loved member of our family. When we bought her into our home our commitment was to love and care for her as long as she lives and that is what we will do. There are many many things that I would cut down on/give up before rehoming her. A dog is not a disposable item 😡

I would also like to say a massive well done to you OP. You clearly haven't had the easiest start in life (understatement) and yet you have achieved so much 💚

Have you been on Martin Lewis' website, he has an amazing spending/budgeting tracker that we did, and we were shocked at where our money was going. we thought we were really lean, but still managed to save ourselves £150ish per month.

The other thing is I find morrisons expensive! I use Tesco/Sainsburys but buy their Aldi price matched stuff so might be worth swapping for whatever you can't get at Aldi

Even seeing the breakdown I can’t believe where all your money is going.

We are a family of the same size, albeit in a two storey three bed rather than a three story four bed, but we can easily manage with a food budget of £400 (and that’s not even just buying budget stuff). We’re on a combined income of £55k pre tax, pay £1k a month mortgage, and £700 a month childcare and still have money leftover. Also both have decent pensions and pay student loan.

£750 is a huge amount for a pension.

Our bill (with Bulb) in the summer was around £70-£80 so I just don’t see what you’re using to have such a high bill other than the car. Also if you look on your Bulb account it will show you a minimum direct debit amount which may be different to what they’ve suggested (ours is a minimum of £84 but they suggest £150 which we’ve been paying to build a buffer for the winter). If you submit a meter reading to them each month when they request it then you’ll get an accurate bill.

Our dog is 8 only slightly younger than yours and pet insurance has never been more than £40, we always pay top level.

Sorry but there are so many areas you could save money here, you need to look at it properly, like so many other PPs have said starting with what energy you actually use.

I’d definitely speak to DH about him trying to earn more up to tax threshold. That’s where most benefit will be seen, it’s pure additional income for your family. I appreciate he’s childcare to one toddler but lots of parents work around that. If he’s not looked for a while he might be surprised what wfh is available eg evening call centre or look for more hours in evening or weekend hospitality. Even if it’s minimum wage it might have perks like free meal on shift. If you are struggling and he can earn just under £1000 a month tax free seems silly not to. He has car access too so more possibilities.

People saying op is fine as she has a 4 bed house - she did say how cheaply they got it for. She's not living in a high end fancy place.

The cost of reducing my pension payments in the long term is massive, but might be needed until DS turns 3 for example.

As the OP is a high earner, if she reduces her pension she will be paying 40% tax on anything she stops paying into it (which is likely why she is choosing to pay so such).

So if she reduces her pension payments by £400 she will see at most £240 of it (perhaps will lose NI payments on that too). Financial planning wise it makes sense to overpay into your pension as a high earner, but you can do this only if you can afford your other lifestyle choices (expensive pets, high car insurance, one working adult etc).

Well done for talking to Bulb.

Solar panels from Government grant, and air pump central heating system has reduced my power bills dramatically. I had them installed this year in anticipation of the energy crisis. I had a credit from the electric supplier of £240 last week based on overpayment over the summer. I qualified for the grant on disability grounds, but others do on income related grounds. I appreciate your income may bar this, but it would be worth looking into a private installation if you have any aspirations to stay in your home long-term. The new solar panels are very efficient and can be installed quickly in roofing or gardens. I live in a large Victorian property with 9 bedrooms, that was unbearably cold due to 25 year old oil boiler on its last legs and ancient radiators. Other renovation work badly needed was zapping income and savings. We now complain we are too hot from the new system and the house is huge so very difficult to heat on the old system! There are grants for air pumps coming into force and mine is proving to be peanuts to run compared to the old combi oil guzzler.

@Theyarellthesame - good to hear, he's lucky to have you in his corner!

Yes this is very good advice.

You're £700odd in credit and they still wanted to put your DD up??? what the hell, they're such criminals!

Could you get a black box on your car or anything to reduce your car insurance bill? give them a call and ask them if there is anything you can do?

I live with my husband, toddler (And dog) and our food shop per week minus dog food is £65-£75 per week, we have a strict meal plan and budget, so that would save you a lot too.

We have also put a lot of our daughters old toys/clothes on Vinted/eBay/FB Marketplace, which has made us a bit of money back, not loads but enough to sort her out for Christmas this year.

We used to use a childminder, as I worked PT but days, same as my husband - I moved jobs to working 2 nights per week in a supermarket, Its good pay, and we didn't have a need for childcare, your husband would likely earn a lot more than working in a pub, and there are always extra shifts going begging around this time of year as we are setting up for Christmas, so there is always the opportunity to earn extra money.

3650 a month with an 800 mortgage and food all paid for by your DH’s money?

I don’t get it….your fuel bill could be 1k and you’d still have more than enough. Is this made up and you haven’t bothered to do the maths?

Who looks after your children when you get in from work? It's just the same, only flipped where he'd look after the child in the day instead of the evening, the OP looks after her child then, and they share night waking.

I just want to say that I think you, your husband and your SIL sound like a pretty fantastic, head screwed on, well grounded, forward thinking family. You've had a really rough trot over the years by the sounds of things and I'm really sorry about this shitty situation you find yourself in now. I really hope things work out for you.

OP the issue isn’t your energy bill - it will be your mortgage at the end of the fixed rate if you want to continue to have only 1 parent working and saving £1k per month.

Hello op. Well I’m glad to see your update that you’re in credit with Bulb! That’s great!

We have a new build 4 bedroom house and my gas and electricity with bulb is £50 (because of the government warm home payment or whatever it’s called). We don’t have the heating on for more than two 30 minute slots a day and not until we’re really cold (late November maybe?) and we are all fiends about turning off lights and appliances. No electric car though which I’m sure makes a big difference to your bill.

The food bill is high as other people have said. Also for now I’d probably cancel Spotify because it all adds up.

It sounds like you have an awesome family and are doing a great job at providing a secure and safe home for them. I’m sure it’ll all work out ok. But you will probably feel so much better if you can cut down the bills so you’re breaking even.

I pay £10 pm for my phone with giffgaff (sim only) and I’m sure there are even cheaper deals.

Best of luck!

I reread your posts OP.

One thing that jumped out was that your DH plans to be a professional ukulele repair person when childcare no longer so necessary. But I don't understand how that isn't enough to justify a few hours at play group now for your DC and why he's working at a pub instead, if it's genuinely a viable way to earn a living.

Sadly I don't think it is and whilst it's great that your DH gets to chase his dreams with his nice electricity guzzling double garage work area, some cordon bleu cookery and a few shifts at the pub, it does feel as if you are paying the price on his behalf.

Just something to think about longer term.

Sell ,buy a smaller house ,less bills ,less to heat .free up some capital and reduce the morgage

Hi Op,

There’s a guy Ramit Sethi, has a podcast and book called “I will teach you to be rich”. (He’s American and I promise it’s not as sleazy/ get rich quick scheme as it sounds).

Very sensible advice for maximising income, investment and handling of debt etc.

I would keep doing what you’re doing, don’t panic to sell house or anything, and look at ways to increase your income via either extra hours for hubby/passive or second income for you. If you want to. Keep playing the long game.

Even just a couple hours a week for a bit extra. Where are hubbys skills? Could he clerk for a parish council/governors of school etc? Often a couple hours a week and flexible around fixed monthly meetings. A friend did data entry in the evening 7pm-10pm some nights for a local distribution centre. All adds up.