I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

Can you cut down your energy usage, the forecast would be based on your previous usage. So if you use tumble drier, cut that out, that will make a big difference to your bill.

Most families couldn’t afford to have just one parent working, could your partner find part-time employment?

What's his side hustle OP? Is there any way this could make more money?

Are you doing the married couple allowance to share some of your husbands tax allowance (may not be called that)

I think you need to change the car.

however you must be on about 2.7k take home after pension and loan - £800 mortgage and no childcare, where is the rest of the money going? You should be ok in theory do you have high debt elsewhere?

Before you panic, what is your annual usage in kwH? If you don't know, check your latest bills or email them and ask. Then use those figures and your current rate to work out what you will actually need to pay over next 6 months, then set the direct debit at that figure. Your dd seems huge, do not assume that they are setting the direct debit at the correct amount!
Once you know your usage you could also look at the other threads here and compare with houses of a similar size to make sure you're in the right ball park.

Change your car, if you use a lot of electricity to charge this one you've got. You seem to have cut down on everything else except that.

I’d also say you obviously live in a cheap area, as your 4 bed house was £270k. Round here it would be over 500k and I’m no where near London. So surely childcare costs must be cheaper than average too?

Sorry but I would be dead on my feet if I worked all day taking care of young children and then worked 6pm-midnight in a bar. Would lead to total burnout. Just not a realistic suggestion.

My husband high up in the military and just over half of that.

I can't work due to health.

He has to travel to opposite sides of the country to work. We are f*ed.

That’s what I was trying to work out £60k, with an £800 mortgage and no child care costs should be doable even if it means cutting back on holidays/savings for a bit.

We looked into this earlier this year - the letting agent told us we would struggle to attract anyone to rent a room in this area when we have a baby who still wakes overnight.

That energy bill is high! Is it based on your actual usage or is it an overinflated estimate? Even if you can’t have a smart meter, I would speak to them to see if you can get on a pay monthly for only what you use payment plan and then ensure you submit your meter readings in time.

The other obvious ones is that your DH picks up some part time work. Nights are a ridiculous suggestion when he has sole charge of LO during the day but he could do a weekend day and/or a couple of evenings. For example, a full day Saturday and 1 evening of something like 5-9pm would be a common shift pattern in a supermarket.

The hospitality industry is crying out for staff. Can he do more than two nights a week?

I'm saying this with the best possible intentions. I don't know where your money is going.
You seem to be living as cheaply as possible, you are not servicing debt, there should be enough money to afford essentials plus a certain level of comfort on top. Have you drawn up a scrupulous and detailed budget?

It’s YOUR DD not Bulb’s. What’s your actual usage? Whatever it actually is: reduce it to that.

I would ride it out. It will get better. I'd take a break from paying into your pension, for now.

Presumably he's learnt skills in the military that he could use to earn much more money if he moved into a civilian role?

Outrageous that he's earning so little in such a serious senior role though!

You’d think so but no. The cheapest nursery round here is £8.50 an hour!

OP that is a huge increase and I completely get how scary that sounds. But I think you need to look at everywhere your money is going, because it’s not quite adding up here. Are you saving a lot? My DH earns similar though slightly more than you (and no student loan) we pay rent of £1400 a month as well as all the other costs of living with a child out of that, food, bills, savings, council tax etc, as well as a bit of charitable giving. You shouldn’t have nothing left paying only £800 on mortgage and your DH pub job paying food.

I used YNAB for budgeting and it’s a live saver, I wonder if it would help you see exactly where all the money is going and what savings could be made?

No there wouldn't. I've seen that suggested many times.

STOP. You, and everyone else, is making this much more complicated and catastrophic than it is.

No need to re-examine all of your expenses. You need to bottom out the figure Bulb have asked you to pay. This would appear to be much higher than your usage will actually make necessary.

The new price cap is roughly double what the price of energy was a year ago (on a variable rate, at least). If you were paying 120 a month then (variable rate), I can’t see how Bulb can justify asking you for three times more. They are trying to put money in their own coffers to try and shore up the business, at your expense.

So your only task now is to go and look at your usage, work out how much you now need to pay them to cover that usage when calculated using the current price capped kWh rates, and agree only to increase your DD to cover that amount.

This doesn’t add up. You live in one of the cheapest areas of the country, £60K salary, no childcare costs, mortgage 1.99%… where is your money going?!
Other than student loan, is there debt you’re not mentioning? Maintenance for another child?
How much is your mortgage?
It’s not that I think 2 adults would be living the life of Riley on £60K, but a £180 rise in bills shouldn’t wipe you out completely.
You mention a £60 dog insurance as non negotiable which makes me wonder if there are some other “non negotiables” up your sleeve.
Living in a cheap area, is childcare really more than he can earn?

You don’t need a 4 bedroom house. Downsize?

At the very least, in one of your two unnecessary bedrooms you could be getting more than your shortfall from a lodger, tax free.

He’s a SAHP at the moment. This is a luxury you can no longer afford. He needs to get a job. Especially if you don’t want to downsize and sell the house.

Yes, good advice - often given to women SAHM on here.

Can your husband getting an evening job? Yes you wouldn’t see much of each other but needs must. Could you consolidate your hours to do 4 long days so if he does get a job you just need 4 days in childcare? I think increasing your income is the only way of coping. It’s a big house to heat but moving would also be costly

If your DH likes being a SAHD and all the toddler activities that involves, actually training as a childminder is a good call longterm and could make that second child viable. There is a big shortage of childminders. I know plenty of people who would be fine with a male childminder, even some who would prefer it for their sons so they have more male role models.