I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

We insure 3 cars through Admiral multi car policy and that is less a month than yours! Including a provisional driver (DD) and another early 20s with not much no claims discount.

Way to undercut your own point by talking absolute shite.

You will be benefiting from individual tax allowances etc, which don't apply when one person has a large salary.

Might be an idea for your DH to take up child minding? He could easily look after 3 children instead of 1.

The cheapest Hybrid Kia Sorrento on Auto Trader is £37k and the cheapest plug in hybrid is £47k. If you traded it in for something a bit more modest, you could save a fortune. With your length of commute, you must be predominantly using petrol and therefore paying far more than a smaller petrol engined car

Sorry you're going through such a hard time at the mo OP. It is absolutely terrifying what is going on with bills right now.
You should be so proud of everything you have achieved so far!
Food bills others are saying are quite high, but ours are around £400 a month for 2 adults and 1 DSC every other weekend.

With the energy, British Gas are constantly trying to up my direct debit, even though I'm in credit and our usage is less than what I pay now £117 p/m. Ignore their direct debit, I swear they pull the number out of their ass. Only pay for what you use.

Your pension is high, I can understand wanting to pay as much as you can to set yourself up for your future. But sometimes you need to just think of the here and now.

We live in a 3 bed semi detached house with single glazed windows (so heating in the winter is a must), we pay around £3000 a month for all of the bills and we're not left with a lot. But we don't pay as much as you do for pension (nowhere near as much).

There's lots of tips online of how to reduce energy costs etc. But the first step is to keep your direct debit the same, or cancel it altogether and only pay for what you use.
If you are still struggling after doing that, your DH needs to work more and you'll need to look at reducing your pension payments temporarily.

Wishing you the best of luck

My Income: £3,600
DH's Income: £350
Energy: £470
Life insurance: £30
Car Insurance: £140
Home insurance: £14
Mortgage: £849
TV: £15
Phones: £40
Fuel: £150
Pet Insurance: £160
Dog Food: £70
Food: £500
Pension: £750
Spotify: £12
Playgroup: £30
Income Insurance, boiler insurance, appliances insurance: £44
Rainy Day savings: £100
Council Tax: £310
Broadband: £22
Student Loan: £400
Income: £3,950
Outgoings: £4,106

This is a really confusing breakdown, your numbers don’t even add up. They don’t leave you with a minus.

You’re listing your pension and student loan as after tax which isn’t how it works.
What is your actual take home?
Do you pay £750 to your pension or is that the total contribution made up from your employer’s contributions too?
£750 from your contributions along is over 20%.
You post is making your your take home to be £2450 but your pension should not be after tax and at your income as your pension contributions go up your tax bill goes down. Even if you are paying 20% pension contributions which I really doubt your take home after standard student loan should be £2900 odd. And then you had an additional loan for accommodation.
Income £2800
DH income £350

Then your listed expenses including the £100 saving and the higher energy bill leaves you with about £200.

You say your husband picks up extra shifts when SIL stays so some months are higher.
If you want a higher buffer you could reduce your food bill and your pet insurance, possibly reduce your pension more in line with 10-15%.

I'm crap with money and even I'm like eh?!

What was costing £240 a month over the summer in energy? Your DH wood working stuff?

The car is clearly a huge expense in terms of both fuel and insurance, you need something that works for a sizeable commute. Could you buy something smaller and cheaper?

I'd look at the food bill as well, it seems a lot for 2.5 people. We spend less on 4.

I echo everyone telling you to find lots of little ways to cut costs.
We have a huge joint monthly income but our everyday lifestyle extravagances and general sloppiness with expenditure is biting us hard on the bum with cost of living increases.

We were facing not having enough money for a new car (ours is 12 years old and bashed to bits) and one four star canaries holiday a year - obviously I get that this is still enormously privileged and insulting to those in genuine need but it is genuinely baffling when you consider our monthly income.

We’ve recently budgeted and managed to find ways to save £400 pcm just by lots and lots of little tweaks and abstentions here and there. DH did this kicking and screaming however - he thinks penny pinching is not something you should have to do ‘at our stage in life’.

This is more of a nice to have idea than an immediate financial solution, but our friends rent out their property through Airbnb when they go on holiday which more than covers the cost.

Could that be an option for you ? You could make it 3 bedrooms and chuck a lot of your stuff in the 4th bedroom and padlock it.

Anyway some of your issues seem
Short lived. Once March comes you should be able to cut car insurance costs dramatically.

fuel bill is astronomical- act like a 1970s dad and live your life to a chorus of “shut that door”.

So true! Happy memories of mine saying that! Not happy memories of the cold rooms that didn't have central heating though. Also "switch the light off" although with low energy bulbs, especially in places like the stairs and other hazard areas, keeping them on is okay.

I am finding myself shopping for those old-fashioned grey draught-excluder strips as we speak... really. And perhaps an additional stuffed one, shaped like a dachshund obviously.

I think a lot of televisions - especially with soundbars and back-lit, desktop computer set-ups, gaming consoles, kitchen gadgets and so on are really guzzling electricity. We have none of the above - not seeking martyrdom, just happen not to - and our electricity bill is small even though it's now gone up. We charge computers and phones, and run a hairdryer a few times a week for a few minutes and have a microwave, that's it.

Anyone working from home, make sure you get the small-but-helpful tax rebate that is meant to cover extra utilities. Which reminds me, we have overpaid tax to claim from last year, not a lot, but it'll help...

Someone I know has bought a smaller hotel-size kettle which is easier to lift and means they are not accidentally heating more water than they need for a cup or two. Only cost-effective if you need a new kettle anyway though.

Haven’t read the full thread but I think you need to not panic but try to do 2 things, reduce the bills and up your income.
Reducing bills- give your SIL the room in the loft then don’t heat that floor when she’s not here. Use the secondary glazing on windows in bedrooms. Get door curtains. Consider if you can use just a few rooms through winter (we have shut our sitting room off and just use the kitchen). Don’t use the electric oven or tumble dryer unless you really have to.

Income- I also agree that DH needs to try to earn more. If he even brought in an extra £50 a week this would go a long way towards the increase. Can he do a couple of shifts at a supermarket on a Sat/ Sun instead of or as well as the bar work? There should be no snobbery about this- a couple of my degree educated friends have done shifts in Waitrose on a Sat/ Sun for periods. It’s not forever.
I also agree your car insurance is really high- it might be worth thinking about selling the car and getting a cheap run around for a few years- my insurance on a big car is only £300 a year.

They did need a new kettle. As do I.

If you cut down your pension contributions for a while and your DH works another couple of evenings per week you'll break even and can stop worrying.

I'm not surprised you're stressed, you're taking on all the financial pressure alone.

I would drop my pension contributions to £450 per month for now, freeing up an extra £300.

DH needs to work further hours out of the home. With the best will in the world, 2 night a week and burning patterns into ukuleles isn't enough.

I wouldn't get rid of the dog 😮and I doubt there's much you can shave off your food bill with prices as they are. I would tackle the additional hours for DH and pension contributions first as they're the quick wins.

Then I'd look at shopping around for car insurance, cutting food bills and asking SIL for even £20 a week - every bit helps.

You can get through this, you just need to take action now.

Out of interest, do you think stay at home Mom's who do the daytime childcare work a few nights and face a small side business ready to expand "faff about all day".

What the duck does he do all day? The same as a Nanny earning a good wage

Challenge bulb. Rent out a room, also have you looked at married peoples tax, I think he can transfer some of his allowance to you, but you might earn too much for that.

I would cut the pension to get past this crunch with the childcare issue. 750 is a hell of a lot of money when your minus.

Sure you have to think of the future. But that also means thinking about the immediate future as well as the distant.

Saving as much of that as you can to give you some leigh way will pay dividends later when your DP has to return to work.

If he truly does want to start a business you need some retained cash to weather the peaks and valleys without having a heart attack.

Buy an excellent life / income assurance insurance policy as opposed to the pension for the time being.

If you have been paying that amount for a while I assume you have a good pot already.

Goodluck

My friend’s supplier wanted to massively increase his DD but he’s refused. No smart meter. They will be doing it on averages and assuming people will use central heating/radiators over winter whereas he doesn’t at all. Coal cost hadn’t increased massively last time I asked him but he does buy several months at a time. They have no radiators on top floor anyway and 2 children have slept there for years no issues just heat from chimney breast.

I think you need to put all that in a spread sheet, largest amounts at the top, and see if you can manage to shave 10% off everything somehow. Pension, car insurance, pet insurance, fuel look like the first easy wins. Then food. That's a lot for 2.5 people. Work your way down the list and at you will feel in control.

Then look at upping your income. Side hustle for you? A coupe of extra evening's work for DH.

You are so close to being fine, don't despair!

If your phone are OK look at ID mobile for a sum only deal. I pay £7 a month.

And if bulb is in administration absolutely cancel the DD!

I have to be honest and agree with the PP (cant find it now) who said financial management classes would be a good idea.

I genuinely think you should look at this as realistically (in my opinion) this is not a cost of living driven problem, it is pure mismanagement of money. You can easily live a good life on your salary but you're making silly choices.

Cant be bothered to rtft but your dh could become a childminder

We weren't struggling when we built the workshop or when the dishwasher broke...

Just to be clear - Bulb is in special administration having been bailed out by the government and your credit is protected. I still don't let it run up too high but it's not at risk.