I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

You know your husband can earn roughly 1k a month tax free? If he found a job working just 20 hours a week at £10ph you’d be much better off

you can’t afford to pay £750 into your pension

also you absolutely do not have to pay that much via DD to the utilities company so just stop your dd

Your energy usage seems really high. £240 per month in the summer?

what on Earth on? We are a family of 4 and have a large 5 bed house and charge an electric car and we were well under £100 in the summer

Then you need to stop putting 22k per year into savings.

Can SIL provide childcare when she's home so DH can work (if she's not financially contributing to the household)?

It would be good to see your expenditure OP. Our rent is £680, so less than your mortgage but we run two cars spending around £280pm on fuel, £60pm on insurance, £50pm on tax, have Sky and Disney, 2 x £32pm phone contracts, repay £100 pm on a small credit card debt plus save £100pm and our monthly outgoings including an enormous grocery bill is still £600pm less than yours. Seeing it all would help people give more meaningful advice.

Well first of all you need to check your energy account rather than just accepti ng the DD requirement. Our engery company (shell) keeps changing ours, most recently asking us to put it up by several hundred pounds a month, despite being in a pretty huge credit (£500+) and moderate usage for the time of year. I declined and put it at something that accurately matched our use (and a bit). But you have to take a look at what you are actually spending.

Is there any chance of you working compressed hours so that you get a day where you can do childcare? Then your husband could do a big shift either at the pub or fulfilling his extra orders? That on top of the couple of evening shifts would hopefully add perhaps another 300 a month?

Check with your council about any schemes they have in place to insulate houses- usually on the cheap.

Do you heat every room? Like others, I’d wager this amount is an estimate, so I would look into that. Does that new amount include the 60 the govt is paying your energy company?

I wouldn’t reduce pension too much. If anything see if you can do that with the student loan.

@girlmom21 apologies! 😀
I thought you were suggesting night shifts!

Unfortunately that's a reality for many families and it's extremely dangerous.
I had a technical role a while ago and had to visit the manufacturing site some nights, and I heard many operators with small children choosing to work full night shifts to save the child care costs, and the toddlers were left in front of a tablet/TV while they were sleeping, nobody else to supervise!
Is absolotly terrifying :-(

OP, we are lucky enough to live in a 4 bed house too, a small one however. We were with The Peoples Energy and got moved to EDF when they folded last year. In April, EDF told me that they wanted to increase our already stupid, £375 per month, to £975. I told them that there was no way that was happening - I got chapter and verse on how I'd have a debt to pay etc. etc. I was 'assessed' again in September having given my latest meter readings and am actually £775 in credit, so honestly, it was scaremongering. The thing is, it's a guess that they are making in terms of how much usage they think you will have. Push back and tell them that you are happy to take the risk and if you have a debt, will deal with it.

Out of interest why did you have to save so much for maternity? what does your job offer in terms of maternity cover?

i'd echo others and reduce your pension contributions.

OP you are getting a lot of stick, which doesn't seem deserved. Also please don't describe yourself as privileged, I honestly can't see how you have been and you have done amazingly well given a tough start.
If both yourself and hubby went to Uni, how is it he can only earn minimum wage??

Full list:

My Income: £3,600
DH's Income: £350
Energy: £470
Car Insurance: £140
Home insurance: £14
Mortgage: £849
TV: £15
Phones: £40
Fuel: £150
Pet Insurance: £160
Dog Food: £70
Food: £500
Pension: £750
Council Tax: £310
Broadband: £22
Student Loan: £400
Income: £3,950
Outgoings: £4,240

You are using an enormous amount of energy even accounting for your car. If you reduce you usage a bit then you should be fine.

Your finances make no sense to me either. With you 60k and your husbands 350 a month even after paying 750 a month into you pension you should have more than enough money. Can you post a full break down of your finances.

When I was a sahm I worked on a Saturday. If your husband did that then you could afford the increase easily.

Statutory only - no enhanced.

If your DH worked two 12 hour shifts in a factory or shop or similar per week he'd take about £1k a month net.

If you don't earn enough alone, he needs a job on your days off.

For 60k your SL deductions look a bit too high?.

I would definitely look at reducing your pension in the short term. £9k a year is loads vs your income. 15%!! Even putting it down to 8-9% would free up some cash for you.

Bulb unit increases aren’t as bad as we expected. DH said they whacked up our DD hugely last week, but you can go in, look at usage and make it a sensible adjustment to the DD for sure.

Renting out some garage space is definitely an idea, is DH able to put in more hours over the weekend? Or put his prices up? It sounds daft, but if he’s got more work than he can manage, an increase in prices would likey mean he loses some, but then he’s gain more for less effort IYSWIM

£500 a month on food jumps out at me as very high considering you're 2 adults and a toddler and have a SAHP who can do meal prep etc. can you shift to a cheaper supermarket? There's surely a saving to be made there?

It seems the OP is the family cash cow.

you repay other people‘s kindness by being a lovely wife to your DH and a good mother to your children not literally allowing them to sit on their arse is while you fund them for the rest of their lives.

1. Reduce your pension payment - I think its a great idea in principle, but right now you can't afford it.

2. Student Loan repayment - needs some careful calculation, but what is the interest on this vs. the amount gain on your pension? You may be better increasing this and reducing the pension, clearing the student loan and then maxing the pension.

(so 1 & 2 together cost you £1150, you need to presumably pay 5% pension to get the employers contribution - this is a must. If you reduced the total by £150, then made 5% pension payment and put the rest into clearing the student loan, then once the student loan cleared put the whole £1000 into pension would you be better off? Needs a spreadsheet! )

3. What options exist for DH to earn more. Is there any "free" childcare possibilities - friends, family, DH's sister??? other locals with small kids that can do a childcare swap? Can he work evenings, weekends when you are home. Could you take some time off work (holiday) and he can do extra woodwork? Could you get compressed hours - so you work your hours over 4 days instead of 5?

4. Victorian houses ,with the best will in the world, are expensive and cold.....we have one - I know! I am currently looking at sealing the chimneys by putting in new electric fires (chimneys are a big heat loss) - or by just using the cheap chimney balloons. When I redecorate the outer walls will get a layer of insulation. But definitely not the cheapest type of house to live in.

Hi there.
Cancel this hideous direct debit and pay on what you used. DD's are now rip off. I guarantee you'll save £200 alone by doing this.
What's your husband's earning potential? Will his salary cover childcare only or will there be surplus left if he goes to work?

I think the £240 in summer is here where you need to start op.

We're over paying at £185 a month, yes smaller than yours by a lot but three kids Inc two toddlers, washing machine on tons, tumble dryer in tons, TV on TONS

How much is the garage being heated? Can you invest rainy day money to get it insulated and then turn the heating off when he's not in it?

Same for your office and SILs bedroom. Make sure they are well insulated and turn the heat off unless it's being used.

Re car, are there charging points that work out cheaper than your electricity bill?

Tumble dryer / dishwasher?
Are all your electrical items in decent nick? Is anything draining the power?

The only solution seems to be that your DH picks up some more work somewhere. Either at the weekend or more in the evening. As it is tax free for him based on his earnings that will be the best way to maximise your income.

Why is your DH only able to earn minimum wage?

Also, your pension contributions are very high but I'd be weary about lowering them since your DP is a SAHP so doesn't have a pension probably?

To be honest it doesn't sound like you can afford to have one of you stay at home.

Are you paying the additional 750 pension after tax? Ie not in your workplace pension? Are you claiming back the tax via a tax return?

Even if you won't change anything you could make a gain there by submitting a self assessment

Nothing helpful to add, but I think you sound lovely OP