*trigger warning* Should we let pedophiles go?

[killthemall]

I'm just thinking outloud here but I'd be interested in opinions.

I was groomed and taken advantage of by an older relative when I was a teenager. Didn't learn my lesson and was groomed again by his brother! (I wised up at the similarities though and nothing happened a second time)

Anyway the point is as I know them personally (and they are both still very much involved in the family, I was blamed as the evil temptress obviously) so I know all of their dirty little secrets. And theg have both gotten themselves into positions of power, given themselves access to vulnerable people. I don't know I'd anything has gone on but u wouldn't be surprised. What I do know is that they both preyed on vulnerable women for partners and abuse them now. I don't know the full extent but I know enough to know they haven't changed and are a source on society.
My children aren't allowed near them.

Now I was talking in a group about paedophiles, as you do when there is yet another case in the news or on the television, or on netflix.
Anyway, we were chatting and we got along the lines of whether it is an illness or not.
I don't believe so. Thinking the thoughts may be unpleasant but acting on them is another thing entirely.
Then it was said that if they aren't attracted to women then perhaps they wouldn't reproduced and if there was a peado gene maybe it would have died out.
And then we were saying that in the old days if you found out uncle Jim hurt your child like that then you would kill him and that be that. Because let's face it, you would if there was no law against it.

But what I've seen time and time again is creating, sharing and possessing indecent images of children isn't given a 15 year sentence. It's given a tap on the wrist 2 years 18 months with good behaviour.

I was watching a program about the police and there was a paedo and he had disgusting videos and images on his laptop, admitted to it, and was let out on bail on the same day waiting for his devices to be checked by whoever does that, Despite them already finding them!

Now I think if I was like that and I knew I'd get a couple years for possessing and sharing images like that then that's a minor deterent.

Or the ones who actually go through with it and hurt children. Oh god. I think they should be locked away indefinitely. I really don't feel safe knowing anyone could be one, but even ones who are caught are let go, ready to do it again. Loads of them do.

this was sparked by the should be bring back state murder thread and my first thought was 'not for murderers'' but then someone posted about paedophiles and I thought "oh yeah they can die" without a second thought.
I really think harsher sentences and they should be locked up. I mean that man who got caught and let out has surely just been shown that he can do it and he gets 24 hours in custody and then he's free basically (I know its on bail but they said he could be waiting 12-24 months to have his devices checked. imagine what he could do after being arrested and the videos were found and he confessed and then let go? Je is going to be exhilarated and possibly fearful of what's coming in a few years. he might go out and do what he can! he's just go away with it basically.

But that's because you're trying to rationalize it. They don't think what they are doing is wrong. To them it's normal behaviour.

I don't really care whether it's an illness, an orientation or whatever. But I think that attempting to treat or rehabilitate a paedophile or other sex-offender is the worst kind of woolly-headed wishful thinking. They're like that for life. Releasing them guarantees more victims.

I think you all sound deranged. Except miajk who I agree with.

And further on paedophilia..... A minority of paedophiles are true peadophiles; they are exclusively emotionally and sexually attracted to children. They generally do not form relationships with adults.

Most child sex offenders are not true paedophiles. They do not exclusively form emotional and sexual relationships with kids (or try to, I suppose). That are not exclusively attached to kids emotionally and sexually.

Most child sex offenders are a combination of character traits that often line up with personality disorders ie highly exploitative, highly selfish, immoral, low integrity, sociopathic, predatory etc.

They simply predate on and exploit children because they see them as easily exploitable - for many reasons that are pretty obvious.

They are vulnerable, they have always been. This type of character seeks out and exploits vulnerability.

The same sort of person will be the type of Jen who will have sex with people who have learning disabilities, people who are unconscious, at the extreme end .. corpses, animals etc.

They are united by being self serving, exploitative, having no boundaries, no personal responsibility etc. They just see and take an opportunity for sexual gratification - where a decent human would not.

It must be some mental illness as we know it's not normal to view children this way.

True paedophilia is a type of mental illness.

But the vast majority of child sex abusers are not true paedophiles. They are opportunistic, exploitative, no integrity, predators.

That's a very valid point and an important distinction.

I think I just can't quite wrap my head around how someone could get sexual gratification from anything involving a child unless they truly are mentally ill.

It must be some mental illness as we know it's not normal to view children this way.

I have to break it to you but a portion of the male population just sees any human, including a child, as a collection of holes to fuck & ejaculate into .... And the advantage of kids is that they often can't say no, or can be made not to tell, and may not know it's wrong etc etc. Their sexual abuse is always accompanied by grooming Inc threats to make sure they don't realise it's wrong or don't tell.

NO WE SHOULD NOT LET THEM GO
THIS THREAD IS STUPID

They are predators with low/integrity.

Whether that constitutes a mental illness, I don't know.

They are often generally prone to immoral behaviour all round (cheating on partners, using sex workers, stealing in some form, financially abusing partners, fraud etc etc ; you'll see lots of other examples of it in their lives if you know they're a child sex abuser.

I think I just can't quite wrap my head around how someone could get sexual gratification from anything involving a child

You probably feel exactly the same about animals, or unconsious people, or people with severe disabilities, or corpses (sorry to go there) yet men have been caught penetrating all of them.

Exactly this

*They are often generally prone to immoral behaviour all round (cheating on partners, using sex workers, stealing in some form, financially abusing partners, fraud etc etc ; you'll see lots of other examples of it in their lives if you know they're a child sex abuser.

My Grandmother went on a cruise on which a man murdered his ex wife.

He had transferred pretty much all his assets into her name (on civil terms 🙄and the murder was related to the finances.

It transpired, but should be no surprise, that the resin he'd transferred his assets out of his accounts (in the US) was because he'd been caught having sex with underage girls and was vulnerable to compensatikn payments to them. All round sociopath/psychopath.

That's the first convincing argument I've heard against the death penalty.

(Aside from the 'to err is human" aspect).

Back on topic; true paedophiles (not the majority of child sex offenders) apparently do have observable brain differences. Parts of their brains are not developed as they should be.

That just illustratrs that they're dangerous (until we can replace faulty brain parts in the future) though.

So how come you know so much about paedophiles then, lemondrop. Are you a psychiatrist, or a social worker, or a JP?

I would like for them to get life in prison or death penalty but its unlikely to happen because i think alot of the lawmakers and judges are pedophiles and perverts themselves.

Pedophiles are very good at getting themselves into positions of power and close to children, very manipulative and calculated

To cause such trauma to a child is horrendous

I saw a treatise online, later removed unsurprisingly, written by a paedophile (whether he was a true paedophile, I don't know- from what he wrote, it seemed so) from his point of view on why children should be allowed to make the decision on whether to enter into a relationship with him.

A large part of his argument was that he would a second or third guiding, supporting, wise, contributer to the child's education, development and welfare. The relationship would be a positive in so many ways for the child.

He was absolutely convinced of this.

The non typical child sex abuser probably doesn't think that, who knows, but convinces themselves they're not doing any real harm. Plenty convince themselves its mutual esp the older the child is.

One thing that I read that struck me was that a child sex abuser could talk for hours about the negative impact on his life of his crimes, but when asked what he thought the impact was on his victims life; was absolutely blank faced and could not come up with one thing.

but I think a differentiation must be made between actually abusing and merely accessing images that already exist.

Images would not be created without a market.

More would not created without the market.

Firstly op it wasn't your lesson to learn- the blame for what happened to you solely lies with the two men involved so please don't blame yourself.

I have really mixed feelings on this. On one hand I've worked with kids who have been abused who then have gone on to abuse other children due to their unresolved trauma. I wouldn't class them as paedophiles because they're kids and victims themselves but as soon as they turn 18 they are classed in that bracket. So it's not always as straight forward an issue as people think.

I'm not one for the death penalty in any circumstance because I think it's a lot to say that certain people can never ever change or reintegrate safely into society. But I do think that some people regardless of their circumstances need to be kept away from society because they're maybe unable (for whatever reason) to make safe choices themselves. And for that reason I would absolutely support tougher sentencing.

I do however think there should be a mechanism where people experiencing those thoughts and urges can speak to someone and get support/ be removed from the public before they act on it. At the minute we don't have that and I think it makes it even more likely that someone will act on their feelings rather than having a safe place to go and look at why they are having those urges in the first place and get support to manage them in a way that keeps others safe. Wouldn't work for everyone- some people will always make that choice, but it might stop some from acting on it.

I managed to trick a grown man as a virgin child didn't you know? I was told off by everyone except my mum and my friends mum. They wanted me to go to the police but after hearing what everyone else said about me I chose not to.
I actually believed it was my fault and I'd given off the wrong signals. I was really ugly too.

I avoid him at family get togethers now but I didn't for a few years. when I started asking if he was going and it was obvious I was avoiding him, everyone brought up the fact that he should be avoiding me for tricking him into bed.

Before this though he used me to get close to other girls my age and that's part of the reason I felt so guilty for so many years.

oh well. at least i know enough to keep my children away from him. that's enough for me.

Agree with @LemonDrop22 on the whole.
Society is the problem. We raise men to believe theyre superior. Some take it to its natural conclusion by abusing those with less power/who are 'inferior'.

It's complicated. I've worked in child protection and saw vile men as opposed to mentally ill men

No idea how we sort this shitshow out

It was a massive saving as well, nearly a half million dollars on average. Apparently every year you spend in prison reduces your life expectancy by 2 years in the US. Average age of death is 56 for a UK prisoner.

We should absolutely let them go and live on a small island somewhere. Drop food off regularly

Lepers through no fault of their own had this done to them.

Why not them.

Wouldn't be dropping food though, they could raise their own from initial stocks. Give them something to think about other than their cocks 24 hrs a day.

Don't you think our society has kinda normalised it. Watching a documentary about the making of Death in Venice and it is so obviously dodgy and yet it's heralded as a great work of art. And then there are the marriages that I remember from the 80s where an old very famous rock star married a very young 15 or 16 child.

I know psychologists that try to study this area struggle as no funding etc... I would rather they studied it and understood it so we can identify it earlier, prevent it happening. Harsh punishments would probably lead them to killing the witness.

Does every society experience this?