My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To see if there’s any groups for single parents even though I’m not a single parent

84 replies

Onmyownbutnot · 01/10/2022 19:00

I’m exhausted here so this may be a bit more self pitying than I mean it to but I’m on my own all weekend and for large chunks of the week as well. Husband works away a lot. Even when he’s home he’s in that headspace where he’s thinking of work if you like. Then at weekends there’s always something that needs doing.

I am a bit low after endless walks in the park to look at the ducks on my own. And other friends are with their husbands and partners having family days out. I was trying to think of a way round this and single parent groups seemed a possibility but id probably just piss then off?

OP posts:
Report

Am I being unreasonable?

176 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
87%
You are NOT being unreasonable
13%
Rummikub · 02/10/2022 17:14

Onmyownbutnot · 02/10/2022 17:07

It isn’t just the recycling centre though, it’s somehow lots of small(ish) tasks that amount to me never seeing him!

You do those. He looks after dc.

He is taking himself away so instead you swap. You are not powerless here. Even if it feels like it. I find that jobs expand to fit the time too.

Report
Rummikub · 02/10/2022 17:15

im sorry to say the issue is your husband taking you for granted. Always expecting you to pick up family stuff.

Do you work?

Report
Onmyownbutnot · 02/10/2022 17:20

A lot of the things I can’t do, @Rummikub they relate to his work, or need a van driver, or involve horribly complicated DIY, or sorting the garage or helping a friend. I can’t list everything in the last three months that has swallowed weekends but as I’ve said, I’m not thrilled about it but I’m putting up with it and trying to just enjoy the time with my children. It would just be nice to have some adult company.

OP posts:
Report
Rummikub · 02/10/2022 17:24

talk to him. Does he know how you feel? Really feel? Saturday morning say could you go the gym or anything and then he does his jobs in the afternoon?

What are his priorities?

You can do some of the stuff. The bits you can do.

he could not go help his friend.

it sounds like you wait for him to make time for you. Something needs to give and right now it’s you.

Report
Onmyownbutnot · 02/10/2022 17:27

But I don’t really want to go to the gym to be honest - I’m happy to spend time with the children but it’s a bit relentless doing it all myself.

I have spoken to him about it but don’t get anywhere as he just says that well this needed doing or well I had to do that, which is probably true.

OP posts:
Report
Rummikub · 02/10/2022 17:31

It’s only going to change when you do something different.

Something other than gym; meet up groups?

Please look into what you can do otherwise you will feel resentful, your dc will be grown and you’ll think where did the time go.

Tbh I think he’s making excuses and taking you for granted.

is he there now? Can you go out for a walk/ a drive?

Report
KeepOutingMyselfAnotherNameChange · 02/10/2022 17:31

Op yabu. Having a husband working all week then being on your own at weekends is nothing like being a single parent you're taking the piss.

Report
Onmyownbutnot · 02/10/2022 17:42

He’s not here, but I think we’re talking at cross purposes a bit. I’m not asking for time out of the house on my own as such. Yes, having the children all weekend is a bit exhausting but if I need to get my hair done or something I can, that’s not a problem. But life ideally shouldn’t be an endless round of jobs to do. There should be time to spend as a family too but at the moment it isn’t happening.

@KeepOutingMyselfAnotherNameChange have you read the thread? I conceded that very early on Smile

OP posts:
Report
Rummikub · 02/10/2022 18:53

I do understand what you’re saying. Adult company is important. Time away from
dc is important. You’re not getting much of either.

But I don’t think he will see it till you either remove yourself and leave him to it for long periods or be explicit in what you want from him.

I agree about the endless round of jobs to do. Come to an agreement that you’re both happy with.

It changes when your dc are at school. You’ll have more free time and that’s different again.

Good luck with it

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.