To think school should be more responsible for my childs' stuff?

[Mama234567]

My son (nearly 6) keeps losing his coat outside at lunchtimes. Today it was raining all day so coat got carried home wet while he got rained on. Lunchbox keeps getting left in the hall. He's in year one and we did not have this problem in reception. He's also come home in another child's trousers instead of his own, I sorted this with other mum and we laughed about it.

I do think this is partly down to his personality and I tell him everyday remember your lunchbox etc.. but he's not the only one. Another parent has had an expensive logo jumper lost already.

YABU- son should be more responsible for his things.

YANBU- school should help more.

How is his coat getting lost outside, is he taking it off and leaving it lying around? If so, that's on him, not the school. Is the coat labelled?

Teachers, TA and school admins are dealing with a lot of kids and a lot of loseable items on a daily basis. Everything should be marked with child's name and nothing expensive should be brought into school (although by logo jumper I assume you mean school crest style logo jumper).

You need to drill into your son that he needs to be in charge of his stuff and if he's not good at that then you need to think of a solution (cheap coat so you can have a spare for example).

I say this as a mother who has one twin who would lose anything you give her in the blink of an eye!

Teachers are there to teach, not keep track of 30 childrens coats, lunchboxes and every other piece of crap kids bring to school. Do you think they should go round and check each individual child’s every item of clothes whenever they get changed for PE? Can you imagine how long that would take?

that said, when I’m on break duty I do do a quick sweep around when we go in and collect up anything that’s been left on a bench or whatever, so unless he’s hiding his coat somewhere it probably shouldnt be left outside.

School are not in any way responsible for your child's things.

Reception usually has a lot more staff than other years and are obviously given a lot more help as they are completely new to school. This naturally tails off as they move up.

if it’s anything like my school I can assure you that staff will have reminded them multiple times to check that have everything, to get their coats etc. some children just don’t hear/don’t listen. It’s very early days in year 1 and he will (probably!) soon get used to having to remember more himself.

Yes you are. He's old enough to look after his stuff and the school staff have enough to do without tracking list belongings.

I think it's just one of those things, I'm sure if a teacher saw someone had left something outside they'd pick it up and take it in but when they have 30 plus children to teach/look after there are bound to be some things get missed (and I say this as a parent of a child who looses everything) more often than not things get found at some point but I don't think the teachers are to blame when they don't.

What do you want school to do?

Sorry but this is on your son.

No, no and no! I’ve got 30 in my class this year - if all 30 parents thought like you, I’d be delivering no education beyond “how to look for a coat/lunch box/etc.” Put his name on everything in waterproof sharpie and teach him to remember his own stuff.

Maybe you should sew him into it 🤣

Its time to teach your own son to be responsible. Thats on you. My DDs already knew that suff before reception. Out of curiosity what age do you think your son should be responsible for his own things?

Schools do their best but the staff have a lot on their plates. I think they are wonderful doing what they do already.

It's part of school, learning to be responsible for your own belongings and having accountability for your actions.

I know he's only five but he needs to remember his own coat if he takes it off.

There is no way the adults can keep track of who brings their coat in and who wasn't wearing a coat and who was wearing a coat when they went out but took it in and put it on their peg and who was wearing a coat when they went out and has left it outside.

Maybe he will remember after the rain incident!

If he has mixed his trousers up with someone else's then he needs a new system. They will be asked to put everything they have taken off back into their PE bag or they will have been asked to pile things neatly. They won't have been asked to leave everything on a big jumble so you don't know which things are yours and which and the persons next to you.

The teacher can't go and check every one has the correct trousers on.

Make sure his things are named so he can easily spot the label. So not with sharpie.

He will get better at all of these things.

Your son is in Year One now so it is time for him to take care of his things himself. In Reception staff help children with possessions and do things for them hoping they will learn how to look after themselves. It's a hard lesson of life but a necessary one. Small boys are very often careless with possessions - he will learn!

They have to learn. He won’t like getting wet so he maybe won’t take of his coat when he’s outside. Get a spare lunchbox, as long as they are labelled he’ll get it back. I don’t think the trousers thing matters. The parent who sent an expensive jumper to school is an idiot.

They have extra staff in reception. The teachers and TAs will be reminding them. They aren’t nannies. He has to learn and you need to get a bit cross with him if it’s bothering you.

YABU - teachers have to teach not check labels in trousers and double check all 30 children brought a coat in.

He won't get it right all the time but he won't learn either if someone always checks. Independence is developed as they travel up primary but it has to start somewhere

Teachers have not got time to mummy every child so you need to teach him to be more responsible. Even at such a young age it’s good for their resilience and self esteem.

I just want to say now I have nothing but respect for teachers and school staff and understand they're very busy. It just seems obvious to me that my son isn't capable yet as this is happening near enough every day. Other 5yr olds might be but he's a very 'out to lunch' type of child as my mum would say. I'm not actually angry with the school at all I was just considering bringing up that he might need more help to remember his stuff.

Thankyou for replies. Hopefully he will learn. And his name is in everything already.

Teachers teach! they are teaching your son to be responsible for his belongings

And by logo jumper I mean school uniform

Sorry, I voted you ARE being unreasonable and I have a child exactly like yours. He's lost so many things but they're all labelled and all get back to us eventually (his coat took 3wks). There's just no feasible way school staff could be responsible for this, how would that work?

YABU. Your child is responsible for his things.

Maybe they could employ an extra member of staff to locate your son's belongings 😉
He's Y6, are there any tricks or tips you can think of to help him remember. It's his responsibility. Next year you're really going to struggle if you think that it's the school's responsibility. Secondary school will be a bit of a shock!