To think school should be more responsible for my childs' stuff?

[Mama234567]

My son (nearly 6) keeps losing his coat outside at lunchtimes. Today it was raining all day so coat got carried home wet while he got rained on. Lunchbox keeps getting left in the hall. He's in year one and we did not have this problem in reception. He's also come home in another child's trousers instead of his own, I sorted this with other mum and we laughed about it.

I do think this is partly down to his personality and I tell him everyday remember your lunchbox etc.. but he's not the only one. Another parent has had an expensive logo jumper lost already.

YABU- son should be more responsible for his things.

YANBU- school should help more.

Op if it was raining all day why did your son take his coat off?

I've taught this age group for over 10 years. And of course it's your responsibility to teach your DS to be responsible for his own things, but if you really think he's struggling to manage its fine to speak to the teacher about it.

It's all in your approach. If you ask with an attitude and give the impression that you think it's the teacher's job to run around after your child, then you will get no where. But.. "Max is struggling to keep track of his belongings, I've spoken to him and he knows it's his job, but can you please help and remind him?"..will be fine.

Thankyou I think this is what I will do in a week or so if things don't improve.

OP please enlighten me - what does "an out to lunch type" mean?

There’s an ‘out to lunch’ type in my year 1 class. I had to ask mum to get his hearing checked- it’s fine.

Is there anything left that parents think is their job rather than the school’s, these days?

One of mine was so bad with coats we had spare raincoat in his backpack as he was always leaving his school coat somewhere in school

Toilet training is now a teacher’s/TA’s job. Unless there are SEN I find this unacceptable. I couldn’t send mine to nursery unless they were dry but now we have to accept reception chn that soil themselves daily.

I don't know how they did it, but my kids school taught the kids that anything that comes off, e.g. jumper, coat, goes straight into their school bag. It was great.

Not sure if that would help with leaving it outside though. Maybe teach him to leave it in a certain place that he will see on his way back to class.

How did he leave it outside today, if it was raining all day?

It wasn’t raining all day here.

The OP said it rained all day.

If he's anything like my DD then you'll be still be having these issues when he's a teenager.
She's in y8 and has lost a pencil case, water bottle, PE top & swimming towel... since the start of term.
She drives me absolutely mad with it.

Don't send him with anything expensive & teach him that there's consequences for not being responsible for his own belongings.
Then hopefully he'll learn much faster than my DD has😅

OP says in her first post it was raining all day.

Today it was raining all day so coat got carried home wet while he got rained on.

I also asked OP why he took his coat off if it was raining but it seems @Mama234567 missed the post. If OPs son is taking his coat off when it's raining outside then it doesn't really make a difference if he walked home without wearing it, as he's likely to still be wet from playing earlier in the day with no coat on.

Yes, I have several colleagues who have suggested to a colleague that they let the school sort it. That’s their approach with their own kids as the school “did such a great job” with their first kid(s). I genuinely think it’s appalling how much parents think schools should be responsible for.

It is frustrating I know but yes, that is unreasonable. They have too many children for tracking all belongings.

You don't have to be naughty to learn there are consequences to actions (or inactions). Nobody said he was naughty. What a strange response

My son is like yours. 2 weeks in to term and we've lost a water bottle, full PE kit, music book and coat. It's a nightmare.

But it isn't the job of the teacher to look after it, find it or replace it.

I agree! ⬆️ It's bloody relentless!!

Oh dear OP. It’s going to be a long 6 years for you 🤣
Im afraid school is like the abyss. Belongings go missing daily. It’s like a missing person- if you don’t find it within 24 hours you’ll likely never see it again.
Had multiple kids go through primary school and it’s been the same every time.
Just remember to check they come out with everything, if not go back in and find it. otherwise it’s probably gone.

If it’s named, it will find its way back to the child. If it’s not, you’ve only yourself to blame.

He will learn. The only thing you can do is label, label, label. DD is at secondary, always comes home with her PE stuff, plus a load of others which is not labelled! DS is hopeless, just started Y7 because everything is labelled with sew in and sticky labels, his PE top and water bottle have been returned after 2 weeks.

My two age 7 and 9 are constantly losing stuff, lunch boxes and jumpers being the worst! My 7 year old lost his coat last week and there is no sign of it (says he left it outside and when he went back it was gone)! All his stuff is labelled and although some reappears in lost property there is some that disappears never to be seen again. I suspect there might be some stealing going on too (most of the lunchboxes never turn up).

Unfortunately one teacher to 30 6 year olds they are not going to be able to help with keeping track of belongings. I have 1 DS and struggle to keep track of his own shoes in our own home. Playdates with several children end up as choas. I have no idea how teachers manage to keep track of just keeping that many small children in one place without absolute bedlam, let alone actually help them learn stuff. They simply don't have time or headspace to be concerned with each individual (of 30!) And their items of clothing etc.

But if it's part of a wider issue - a behaviour/ concentration issue that you're concerned about then by all means mention it. To me I don't think labelling your child as an 'out to lunch' type is particularly kind. Addressing forgetfulness and lack of focus could be useful though.
But if it's that you're finding the transition from Early years care to yr 1 independence and it difficult that he's not 'looked after' more and you're worried about him loosing his stuff than that's not really the school's problem.

I would say order some big brightly coloured name stickers (get him to choose them) for every item that goes into school. Get him to help sticking them on stuff so he knows how to check it's his own jumper/ coat/ water bottle etc. Start putting more responsibility on him for his own belongings at home - ask him to put his shoes in the right place, hang up his coat.... While sitting eating breakfast ask him if he needs to take anything to school today. Discuss the weather, ask if needs a coat today . As you leave the house for school ask him if he has everything he needs. Leave his lunch box on the side in the kitchen. Ask what he's having for lunch. Ask him if he has it in his bag. Tell him to check and then go and get it. Get him thinking for himself about his stuff and take responsibility. Obviously for a few years yet will need help, but just start shifting the responsibility to him.

You are being incredibly unreasonable.
Your kid probably picks up on the fact you find it funny and therefore of course he won’t be making an effort to keep track of his stuff! If you keep brushing it off as being cute. And now you want school to take responsibility? 😂😂 you need to take responsibility as a parent. School staff is not there to pick up after your little prince.

Teachers and school staff aren’t responsible for picking up after the children, they will remind them of responsibility of their things and looking after them. How will they learn if someone does it for them all the time?