To think school should be more responsible for my childs' stuff?

[Mama234567]

My son (nearly 6) keeps losing his coat outside at lunchtimes. Today it was raining all day so coat got carried home wet while he got rained on. Lunchbox keeps getting left in the hall. He's in year one and we did not have this problem in reception. He's also come home in another child's trousers instead of his own, I sorted this with other mum and we laughed about it.

I do think this is partly down to his personality and I tell him everyday remember your lunchbox etc.. but he's not the only one. Another parent has had an expensive logo jumper lost already.

YABU- son should be more responsible for his things.

YANBU- school should help more.

our school sweeps everything up and puts it in the lost and found. It is up to the children (or parents) to retrieve the misplaced items by the end of the term. Anything left gets donated.

I suggest investing in custom made sticky labels. They are bold and easy to read. It makes it much more likely an item will get dropped back with a student if the person picking it up doesn’t even have to look for a name, they just see it without even trying. If items do end up in the lost and found, the bold labels make them much easier to retrieve.

but no, teachers don’t keep track of student items at this age. There is just too much going on. Since dd was very disorganized, we would inventory at pickup and make sure she had her key items and if not send her back into the building to search. I just bought two lunch boxes so that I always had a backup. -

No. Teachers and TAs have enough to do without being responsible for every item of clothing in a class of 30 children.

Kids lose stuff, particularly young kids. That’s the cost of doing business really. You need to teach your son not to lose stuff and instil a sense of responsibility. This takes much longer with some kids than others but that’s just the way it goes. Not the school’s responsibility.

I teach year one and have this problem every year. I think it’s just a year one thing 😂

I can remind my current class to remember coats etc.. as they leave the room for break and lunch and can still guarantee at least 10 of them will forget.

On the bright side I tend to find it gets better after Christmas when they are all more settled into a routine!

Bless you OP! I'm afraid that's school.life!!

I have 2 DS. DS1 always lost everything in reception and year 1. Still does to be honest (he's in yr 6 now!!!), but not quite as often!!

We labelled everything, and most things eventually made their way back to us!

DS2 hardly ever loses anything and has always been pretty good and remembering stuff! It's just life!! Dreamers Vs non dreamers! I'm afraid it's just something you'll have to get used to!

Try some sticker rewards for days he comes home with everything he went in with, that might help!

Thankyou it seems like the replies are getting kinder and more understanding of my son... but I'm thinking I probably won't bring it up with the teacher now. Just destined to have a complete dingbat of a child! I do find it funny most of the time but today it was raining and not as fun looking for the bloody coat on the playground.

Yabu but I get the frustration. My year 1 and year 2 sons are exactly the same. They'll learn though, and it'll do them good to have the responsibility rather than relying on teachers.

Don't worry! Those dingabts turn out to be pretty lovely, fun kids :)

I know it's annoying but YABU

Doesn’t seem like it

You can make your own ‘going hone checklist’ if that might help?

Card (laminated is good) inside his bag with pictures for him to check everything at the end of the day. You could sticker or stamp for every day he has everything and have a reward system?

An eight year old? Sure. A FIVE year old? No no. Someone should be looking after him.

There's barely enough teachers. You can't expect them to look after 30 children and all their stuff at once.

OP - does he get picked up? Could that person remind him about his lunch box?

Why is he taking his coat off all the time?

The school is not responsible, but your son obviously needs a little more direction, so ask the school if they'll try nudge ie signs that say

• Have you got your coat, or did you put your coat on your hook?
• put your lunch box away once you've finished eating or do you have your lunch box
• Check the name on clothes are they yours?

You can use nudge too in his school bag - include labels that ask him to do the same checks and it'll hopefully trigger him to do it.

Good luck.

It's harsh to say its on a child to do ABC cos they all develop with their own skill sets and at different rates, so help him out. He'll get there or maybe not, I bet he's a genius at other stuff!

Losing things and suffering the consequences is how children learn to look after their things.

I work in a primary school and some children just lose things constantly- general class reminders to hang coats on pegs, make sure you don't leave things in the dining hall etc. fall on deaf ears.

If everything is named it usually works it's way back to the child eventually as staff tidy up.

Tell him that if he takes his coat off he needs to go hang it up not dump it on the ground! Mine was the same, just needs drumming in.

Are the school insisting that he wears his coat out to play? I think if they're making him take it out and he's instantly taking it off, maybe they could let him out without a coat to avoid the same thing happening repeatedly.

YABU

Your child needs to start being careful and more responsible.

What exactly are you expecting teachers should do with a school full of potentially featherheaded children? Spend half an hour every day sorting out lost belongings?

The natural consequence of leaving your coat in the playground after lunch is being rained on, and leaving your lunchbox in the hall is having no lunchbox next day. This is how children learn.

I'm with @Kite22 and @SkankingWombat . Looking at this from the perspective of an ADHD parent and teacher in mainstream and special school, some children will always find this more difficult and just a little bit of adjustment now could make a world of difference.

Yes, there are 29 other children in the class but that doesn't mean that a child who is obviously struggling to develop a specific skill others find easy should just be left to get on with it. A quick verbal reminder from a TA or lunchtime supervisor isn't arduous, equally a specific 'going home' checklist takes v little time to organise.

Dealing with it now will make life further on in school much easier, equally if you notice that his organisational skills are not keeping pace with his expectations, it would be something to flag with school.

For winter I advise a cor through his sleeves with his gloves attached. Plus a multipack of matching gloves as they lose them singularly never in pairs.

You want (sometimes) 2 adults to look after 30 kids AND keep track of all their stuff?

Losing things at school is annoying, but it's realyl up to your son. Keep his stuff clearly labelled and check the lost and found ever so often. It's the only way around it. DD is not in year 4 and I get her to check the lsot and found when she's lost something, it normally shows up eventually (if her name is in it).

I had a child (now adult) the same. I remember one winter week where every coat he owned was in school and he was told that if it was raining the next day he'd be wearing a binbag!

But mine has SN and was at Special School (same school from reception to 6th form) with only 6 to 8 kids and at least 3 staff members per class, so somewhat different to a teacher with a class of 30 in a big school.

He will be reminded to fetch his coat at the end of play but as others have said there aren't enough staff to be checking the playground.

@Pharos

I agree it's something to note, especially if it persists and also if it's a trait that is apparent at home too.

However, the average TA or playground supervisor may well be watching out for kids who have already been diagnosed with SN, or the kid who fell and cut his or her knee, twisted an ankle, banged his head, was stung by a wasp, etc.

I've been a Reception teacher for 25 years and this happens day in, day out. Angry parents at the end of the school day demanding we find DC's jumper/cardigan/coat/bag/lunch box. Me, "is it named?", Parent, "No but it's an age 4 red/green/blue jumper". So, in a 3 form entry that's potentially 90 jumpers and lockers to check the following morning when we should be doing our formal teaching/learning. We do a "check" with the children at the end of the day as they collect their belongings ready for home. We call out an item and the children shout "check" (they love this). Goes something like this, "Jumper" check, "book bag", check, "lunch box" check. You get the idea. All of this encourages children to become independent and take responsibility for their own belongings. An invaluable life skill. Some children get this quickly, others take a while and this is ok. Schools are full of rules and routines and children's heads are full to bursting with all of this. They will get it! Give them time and encouragement. The school staff really do understand your frustration.

I've seen children shout out 'check' without doing the actual checking. They get into the rhythm and just chant along.

@Mama234567 quick question as you say "he's away with the pixies" a lot. Is he similar at home with not looking after things? What have you done to ensure he is more responsible? Are you starting to give him consequences rather than brushing it off?

I'm asking because there seems to be a inexplicably large amount of men/boys who have to keep asking the women in their lives where the mayo is, where did they leave their car keys, etc. Wonder if it stems back from "but he's only 5!" mentality? Girls always seem to be more aware from a young age for some reason. I brought this up as theres a running thread about men being unable to see things and calling the wife in another city or country. Its mind-boggling how they survive.