AIBU to think life would be better in Canada?

[ButtercupsAndBluebells]

I've always been very happy with my life in the UK, but I am starting to feel so disillusioned (as many others are too, judging by several other threads I've read today). My brother moved to Canada (Calgary, Alberta) a few years ago and is currently staying with us for a visit. Although he hasn't been openly critical or boastful, it's obvious that he's been taken aback by how things have deteriorated here. He seems to have such a wonderful life, and it's left me feeling very flat about my own.

I know I shouldn't compare, but it's hard not to. DH and I have similar jobs to my brother and SIL. They have the huge house and cars, a fantastic family doctor, a mobile home that they take into the mountains most weekends, access to the most incredible wilderness despite living in a city. In contrast, we have a small 3 bed terrace without any parking, disposable income is shrinking month by month and let's not even mention the state of the NHS. We live in a really nice area, but there's still litter everywhere and it's like nobody cares about their surroundings.

I have done some reading online and I think we'd have a good chance of being accepted to migrate ourselves, but would it really be that different? I'm tying myself in knots thinking about it. Please can someone either talk me down or give me some encouragement!

I’m sure in some ways it’s better but I don’t think I would want to spend months of every year waist deep in snow and have to regularly dig my way out of my own house.

As a Canadian who’s daughter lives in the UK. Yes it’s very different.
Travel to see family is expensive.
Canada’s a nice easy country but it’s a big step.

Following with interest. Just had a client meeting with a guy from Canada who's earning 10x more than I do for doing the same job. And their family lifestyle sounds amazing.
I know shit all about Canada though. Apart from maple syrup and everyone is friendly.

It's my dream to move to the Canadian Rockies! I'd definitely consider it if we didn't have elderly parents here to think about

Even Calgary isn’t as nice as it was 20 years ago - and good luck getting their motor home into the Banff national park in under 3 hours on a Friday afternoon!

I think your brother is having a wee boast.

I live in a different country and I am appalled when I visit the UK. It's so run down and feels full of dispair. It's frankly shocking

My partner and I left the UK 18 months ago. He's just had an offer to go back to the UK and we both said no way! We both found life outside the UK much easier. It's different for me as I'm not originally British so I was already living abroad (although I was in the UK for 15 years so it was definitely home for me) but this is DP's first time living outside the UK! Aside from occasional home sickness which is sorted with a visit home, it's been even better than we had hoped.

Research carefully so you know what to expect. I don't live in Canada but I know it can be very very expensive so your salary needs to match that. Moving, shipping, then trips home are expensive too.

I suppose it depends on many factors, if you can get a decent job you should be ok. A good friend lived there for a few years and enjoyed it, but came home when she had a baby because she missed her family too much.
I spent a few months travelling around Canada, and while I enjoyed it (beautiful scenery etc.) and it's great if you love the outdoors - but wasn't some utopia.

House prices in and around the cities are ridiculous, and food was expensive and varying quality, there was lots of homelessness in central Vancouver and I got followed down the street a few times and pestered for cigarettes by homeless people, pretty intimidating and I felt unsafe at times. Also the tipping culture really annoyed me.

Overall it's a great place but it's not perfect. Nowhere is.

You have an easy in as your brother is there. It doesn’t sound like you have spoken about nitty gritty to him. So salaries, hours worked, expenditure.
Maybe visit for an extended holiday.
What would you be leaving behind - eg elderly parents. If you have children how would it work education wise.
Our old neighbours emigrated to Australia excited with their 3 boys - had been married years. Was his dream. He was an electrician she was a pt nurse. He couldn’t pass Australian exam he needed so ended up role swap and she worked ft him labouring. Eldest boy hated it came home to uk as he wanted gcse and a levels and went to live with grandparents. They then split up. He then became very ill with cancer and died (his parents were in uk)

Good luck getting in.

Even if you’re accepted, the immigration process takes years.

My neighbour emigrated to Canada, was on the preferred skills list, and his visa took 5 years to come through. And I don’t know what happened, but they were back within a year.

Every country has its drawbacks. There is no such thing as a perfect place to live.

Is a move somewhere in uk less risky - I’m up north in an area that scores highly on best places to live - easy access to countryside, lakes etc.

Also, I know I'm going to get slated for this but I found Canadian people lovely, very friendly - but a bit dull. As in, they didn't have the same sense of humour, or ability to make fun of themselves, and took everything quite seriously. But maybe that was just my experience.

Can't imagine anything better than moving to a country with the immensely dislikeable authoritarian Justin Trudeau in charge.

I had exactly the same experience so it's not just you.

Well, I live in Canada, I think you have some very rose tinted glasses here.

Housing is more roomy, certainly, than the UK, if you can find it. It may be cheaper in some places but in other, particularly more popular cities, it is very expensive. There is also a significant housing shortage in many of these same places. The city I am closest to has had tents everywhere and even a bit of a riot with the police this past summer. So this will vary depending on where you want to live.

Covid authoritarianism was huge here compared to the UK and in general the government here now is very left-authoritarian. Protesters had their bank accounts frozen! If you have seen that crazy male teacher with the giant fake boobs in the news it's a good example - the school was too scared to say anything because of the laws. If your kid needs therapy, and has gender issues, it is affirmation only by law.

State education is poorer here than the UK, and I would put that in a very direct and straightforward way. University education is more expensive though not so bad as the US. Health - it depends somewhat on the province, but also in serious trouble. About half the people in my province have no family doctor, and wait times at the ER are in the 6 to 12 hour range. They are trying to make up for it with remote care, but it's not really working.

It's interesting that your family in in Alberta. It's overall a much more right wing provincial government, and in many ways Albertans are a lot more like Americans. They did suffer less extreme restrictions during covid compared to much of the rest of the country. Sometimes people with more socialist leanings find it hard to discuss them. But Calgary is a city with some of the housing problems you see elsewhere and they have always been very affected by what's going on with oil prices.

Anyway, over all I am not sure you'd find it radically better. To really get that kind of less expensive housing etc you would need to move to a smaller or more depressed city, and that would have a lot of the same trade-offs as doing the same thing in the UK.

Canada always looks stunning on TV and magazines but like most countries, behind the polished veneer you will probably find exactly the same social problems the world over. Homelessness, drugs, alcoholism, crime rates
And as PP pointed out above, Canada has been horrifically captured by trans ideology. Very scary indeed!!

Very interesting post. Canada would be my first choice if I was to emigrate. I like Australians, but I can’t bear the heat, so Oz would be out. New Zealand would probably be option two. Nowhere is perfect though. We always project what’s lacking in our own country onto others. The one major upside for me would be the room. I can’t bear Essex any more. You just can’t move. Awful rabbit hutch houses are being jammed onto every piece of scrap land, and the roads are a living hell. Even my local woods have been hacked into for housing space.

I sure as hell couldn’t put up with Trudeau. He is the archetypal smug, sanctimonious liberal poseur. A man who likes the smell of his own farts, as W H Auden put it.

There is more sense of space, for sure. I find the UK does seem to close - it's part of why I find it hard to sympathize with those who think upping immigration in the UK is a great idea. You have so little room.

That being said, sometimes people don't realize that most Canadians are squashed into the strip along the US border, or into the big cities. If you go to Ontario or even Calgary there are housing estates of rabbit hutches too. And public transport and trains to get out of the city are less available than in the UK.

Even the big national parks like Banff are now increasingly crowded and expensive. They don't feel like getting away from people, that's for sure. Parks Canada is in the position of trying to increase numbers while also trying to deal with the fact that increased numbers absolutely affects the wilderness and degrades the ecosystem. You won't feel more "away" from people in a place like that compared to going to a big park in Scotland, for example.

If you are up for serious wilderness trekking yourself, days away from civilization in a canoe and not expecting any support, you can absolutely see some amazing wilderness. But that is not just casual holiday stuff, it's not cheap, and it takes some skills.

I would have grave concerns about Trudeau and the current state of women’s rights over there.

I have family in Ontario and Quebec and have spent a lot of time in Canada over the years. We were there this year for the first time since covid and I have to say, aspects of it didn’t feel as lovely as they used to - it felt more similar to the US than it has in the past - more obvious homelessness and drug abuse; so much obesity.

However! One thing both DH and I noticed (separately) was how kind people are to children and how lovely the parents all were to their kids. We were in quite a few settings where kids are tired and fractious (airport, mall, roasting hot entertainments with queues) and I never saw anyone being unkind or snappy to their child. Whereas in the UK I feel like I’m constantly hearing awful things like ‘you’re running the day for everyone’ ‘you’re so bloody ungrateful’ etc etc. We were mulling over whether this is why Canadians are so lovely (and for the most part they really, really are!) and it’s a virtuous cycle of kindness.

Anyway, in terms of emigrating, I wouldn’t trade Scotland for Canada at the moment but I also couldn’t imagine living in a built up part of England.

*ruining the day for everyone!

Canada is a wonderful country where I could easily emigrate. He's not wrong.

Have visited in laws in a Toronto suburb and it was ok for a holiday.

But no real bus service, have to drive and culturally it was a bit derelict. Would have to travel quite a bit to get into the city to enjoy finer things.

Perhaps another town/city would have been nicer….

I posted in another thread that my Canadian cousins would love to move here. They have the same problems we do: skyrocketing prices, job insecurity, can't get on the property ladder and good rentals are increasing in short supply, greedy corporate overlords, awful politics, terrible transport infrastructure (as in non-existent) outside of major cities, and on and on...

They love how close we are to the EU for travel, our public transport systems and cheap (to them) food.