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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think life would be better in Canada?

244 replies

ButtercupsAndBluebells · 30/09/2022 15:20

I've always been very happy with my life in the UK, but I am starting to feel so disillusioned (as many others are too, judging by several other threads I've read today). My brother moved to Canada (Calgary, Alberta) a few years ago and is currently staying with us for a visit. Although he hasn't been openly critical or boastful, it's obvious that he's been taken aback by how things have deteriorated here. He seems to have such a wonderful life, and it's left me feeling very flat about my own.

I know I shouldn't compare, but it's hard not to. DH and I have similar jobs to my brother and SIL. They have the huge house and cars, a fantastic family doctor, a mobile home that they take into the mountains most weekends, access to the most incredible wilderness despite living in a city. In contrast, we have a small 3 bed terrace without any parking, disposable income is shrinking month by month and let's not even mention the state of the NHS. We live in a really nice area, but there's still litter everywhere and it's like nobody cares about their surroundings.

I have done some reading online and I think we'd have a good chance of being accepted to migrate ourselves, but would it really be that different? I'm tying myself in knots thinking about it. Please can someone either talk me down or give me some encouragement!

OP posts:
Allthestarsabovemyhead · 30/09/2022 22:25

I have family there and they seem to have a great lifestyle, they live in a mansion.I’ve only visited as a child. I do know that in the winter their snow reaches up to their front door. I wouldn’t be able to cope with the weather. I also don’t like the accent no offence .

Florenz · 30/09/2022 22:26

I think a lot of people have an idealised vision of Canada as being like the best bits of the UK and US with no downsides.

Pilipalapal · 30/09/2022 22:51

Allthestarsabovemyhead · 30/09/2022 22:25

I have family there and they seem to have a great lifestyle, they live in a mansion.I’ve only visited as a child. I do know that in the winter their snow reaches up to their front door. I wouldn’t be able to cope with the weather. I also don’t like the accent no offence .

If you can cope with British weather, you can cope with the weather in certain popular areas of Canada. They’re barely any different.

The accent also varies hugely across the country.

hereyougoagain · 30/09/2022 22:51

@Squiblet 40-something Tim Horton outlets in UK 😉

Vanillazebra · 30/09/2022 23:10

This is our "rightmove" if anyone want to look www.realtor.ca/

MangyInseam · 01/10/2022 01:53

QueefofSheena · 30/09/2022 22:10

I have a lot of family in Canada. My experience from visiting, which may not be entirely well-rounded, is that the food quality is pretty bad compared to here, it’s either boiling or freezing and that no one actually comes from there. Virtually everyone I’ve met is from another country originally. The lack of ‘old’ buildings and other cultural things we take for granted also messed with my head more than I thought it would.

That tends to be more true out west. Calgary in particular is a city made up of people that came from elsewhere.

If you were in the Maritimes you'd likely find it quite different in that respect, and lots of older buildings as well.

Food can be very variable. But more expensive than the UK on average in my experience. Our sandwiches are no where near as good as yours. I am not sure why, it seems like it should be an easy thing to do well.

knitnerd90 · 01/10/2022 02:24

I have extended family in Canada and sometimes I wish we'd tried to go there instead of winding up in the US (where we do have a good quality of life).

My uncle is a retired doctor in Toronto. I would say the health care system is good, in some respects better than the NHS. Family doctor availability varies by province with Quebec being worst, but there are walk-ins and wait lists--you'll get a permanent doctor eventually. You do have to pay for prescriptions or have supplemental insurance. There isn't a competing private sector for most covered services, so you cannot jump the queue. The hospitals are better staffed than the UK, and staff are better paid. Family doctors aren't forced to restrict referrals the way GPs are and it's much easier to see a specialist. There's issues with access in rural areas especially in the Maritimes.

Yes it is expensive. People on MN think the USA is expensive; Canada everything is more. There's less product choice and less competition. I think the food in the major cities is good, and lots of choice for restaurants because of immigration, but you have to deal with food being shipped in during the winter. Things can feel a bit... staid, perhaps. For example in several provinces there's only 1 auto insurance company, owned by the province, and in all but 1 (Alberta) liquor stores are government owned too.

If you're coming from London I think even Toronto has a bit of a "small pond" feeling. Canada is half as many people as the UK in a vastly bigger country, and Canadians are quite self conscious about being next to the USA and not wanting to be in its shadow. I think Canadians are being underrated in this thread; they may be more low key and polite, but they are quite funny.

Vancouver is absolutely gorgeous, cost aside, and the climate is not far off the UK. Montreal is a fun city, but the language politics would put me off. You could not pay me enough to live in the Prairies. It can be -40 in winter. I have heard of Alberta referred to as the "Texas of Canada" though, which is also a reference to the oil industry as well as the more conservative politics.

Pilipalapal · 01/10/2022 02:49

MangyInseam · 01/10/2022 01:53

That tends to be more true out west. Calgary in particular is a city made up of people that came from elsewhere.

If you were in the Maritimes you'd likely find it quite different in that respect, and lots of older buildings as well.

Food can be very variable. But more expensive than the UK on average in my experience. Our sandwiches are no where near as good as yours. I am not sure why, it seems like it should be an easy thing to do well.

Oh that’s a good shout re. supermarket sandwiches. I do miss me a meal deal.

RenardeRenarde · 01/10/2022 04:03

How long ago did your brother move over? We are British ex pats living in one of the provinces brits tend not to move to (so not Ontario, BC, Alberta or Nova Scotia) so house prices are less terrifying here but anyone who moved even 3 years ago could get a LOT more for their money than you can get now. Anyone who came 10+ years ago got the best deal and you couldn’t emulate their lifestyle if you moved now.

Wages are better here for our industries but everything costs a fortune, food is expensive and frankly poor compared to back home, things like mobile phone contracts and Wi-Fi are obscenely expensive. Don’t get me started on the price of cars! Work also want their pound of flesh for what you’re paid and generally holiday allowance is poor (sector dependant). This drastically reduces your ability to enjoy travelling and experiencing the country which is undeniably beautiful.

The people are nice but nice only goes so far, I would disagree with posters that say Canadians are funny, I find them quite dull on the whole but that is probably area and personality dependant!

I enjoy the extra space and slower pace of life but I wouldn’t consider it better than home in any other sense. The space is also a negative in that a lot of the services you take for granted at home are much slower and/or poorer here because they’re servicing such a huge geographical area.
If I got pregnant I would run home as fast as I could, there is no chance I would raise a child here. I think they would have a richer life back home.
We have no GP and are unlikely to ever get one and we’re not rural. This seems common across the country now.

I would think very carefully about whether you would prefer somewhere else in the UK before making this kind of move. We came from a lovely part of the north west which was quiet, safe and reasonably priced, I don’t honestly think we get “more” here, life is different but not necessarily better or worse. Personally we came for the adventure and to experience something different, but we’re child free with very moveable jobs so our situation made it less of a risk than it might be for others.

whatyousayin · 01/10/2022 04:07

I live in Canmore, AB, in the heart of the Rocky mountains, probably where your brother comes out to visit with his motor home.

Although it is beautiful where we are, life is incredibly dull in Canada in comparison to the UK. In fact, we are planning on moving back to the UK next year.

Calgary is a bloody awful city, it's got absolutely zero character. The city itself is just dreadful, the only ones that walk around it are the homeless high on meth. Yes a lot of people have big houses (cos they are relatively cheap), but no body talks to each other so it's soulless. Canadians aren't very forth coming and often keep themselves to themselves, so it can be difficult to make friends, at least ones that are more than skin deep.

Yes the healthcare is good, but it's not all free, you get stuck in jobs because you need insurance to pay for medical supplies eg. Drugs. They charge for ambulances.

Alberta is completely land locked. To get to the ocean, you are talking at least a 12 hour drive. Colleagues of mine would drive 4h one way to go camping for 1-2 nights usually in the wilderness. So you really need to go with family or friends which is what alot of Canadians do. Others are very unlikely to talk to you, like British would.

There isn't much to do with/for young children, especially not where we live. So the weekends are long.

The cost of living out here, is sky high. My food bill for 2 adults, 1 toddler is easily $250-300 per week. And the quality is poor, the selection, little. In comparison to M&S, Morrisons, Sainsburys etc who constantly change their products, over here, the supermarkets sell the same old shit year round.

The UK has so much variation to offer in all aspects of live, not to forget we have Europe to easily travel to and it isn't that expensive to fly. Over here it is painfully expensive to fly, as is the travel insurance. Then there's the lack of holiday allowance. My husband gets 2 weeks a year.

We get easily 6-7 months of snow a year. And yeah to be fair there is options to enjoy the snow but honestly who wants snow that many months a year. There only is 2 seasons, Winter with snow and Summer which is super hot ~30's with a high chance of wild fire smoke sometimes we have recommendations not to go outside because the smoke levels are too high.

Trust me, the grass isn't greener on the other side.

Vanillazebra · 01/10/2022 05:25

Agreed

ElCaMum · 01/10/2022 06:11

We emigrated 3 years ago to Canada on work permits (which we got in 3 months as we had a job lined up) and got PR after 2 yrs so immigration isn’t always slow.

As someone else said we came TOWARDS something so we weren’t running from the UK.

There are pros and cons as there are to any country.
So I love the space of Canada but miss the deep history of the UK.
We earn better money here but have less vacation time.
Our kids have grown in confidence (there’s a seemingly in built confidence to Canadian kids) but education takes longer to ‘get going’ with lower expectations in early years education.
The people are very friendly but it’s hard to go deep.
Food, car insurance and phone contracts are expensive but other things are cheaper.
We’re west coast and we get proper winters and proper summers so it can get cold (-15) but the summer brings more consistent sun, making it easier to get outdoors and kayak, bike and hike etc.
The pace of life is slower but sometimes that means things are processed very slowly as they are very labour intensive and less automated (means more jobs but can be annoying!!!)

We love our life out here but that doesn’t mean we think the UK is horrible. If it’s something you want to try, do it but do it for good reasons.

CoveredInCobwebs · 01/10/2022 06:56

@ElCaMum The confidence thing is true of American kids too and I’ve wondered in the past if it’s because achievements are so much more celebrated at all stages. I mentioned upthread about noticing that parents seemed much kinder to their kids in general - is that true?

Vanillazebra · 01/10/2022 07:21

It’s a more child friendly society in many ways. Very extra curricular focused for out of school activities and sports

ChagSameachDoreen · 01/10/2022 07:23

Too much wokery.

If you want your children to be taught by a man sporting huge fetish breasts, by all means move there.

JamSandle · 01/10/2022 07:29

I cried when I first came back to the UK from NZ/Australia. It felt cramped, dirty, this palpable air of misery. Maybe it depends where you are in the country. I've heard people in Sydney are very unfriendly.

Everything has pros and cons. But its worth looking into if you think your quality of life may be better elsewhere.

Quincythequince · 01/10/2022 07:33

I lived in Vancouver for ten years.
I suppose it depends on where I’m Canada you live, but it’s very different depending on where you go.

Vancouver for example has a ridiculous housing market which is probably worse than here. Food prices are extortionate and the wait for their healthcare is also very long.

Ans when you get old and less mobile, ther not much to do.

My dad and mum would rather be in the UK. More to see and do, and way more accessible too.

Quincythequince · 01/10/2022 07:34

P.s. I live in the UK (Herts) and have lived in Canada and I wouldn’t move back there (I have dual nationality).

Notplayingball · 01/10/2022 07:49

WisteriaLodge · 30/09/2022 22:04

Where on earth are you? Not everywhere I'll think you'll find! I'm in West Sussex near the South Downs and it's very pleasant thanks.

I am in a lovely area of Scotland, and like where I am. Nothing is perfect, all areas have their downsides.

I am able to get into countryside within a five minute walk from my home - definitely not full of despair 🤣

Quincythequince · 01/10/2022 08:24

Although it is beautiful where we are, life is incredibly dull in Canada in comparison to the UK. In fact, we are planning on moving back to the UK next year

I agree with this!
My Canadian city, Vancouver is a very scenic place to be, but visits of up to a month at a time, are enough.

When you’re old and infirm, you’re sunk in Canada,

Quincythequince · 01/10/2022 08:45

Florenz · 30/09/2022 20:08

Canada is VERY cold in the winter. I have relatives there and while they generally like it, they found the winters very hard to get used to in the first few years. Below freezing temperatures, day and night, for months on end, and snow piled up everywhere. The summers are warmer than here.

Again, it depends where in Canada you are.
It is not like this in Vancouver, nor on the island.

kitcat15 · 01/10/2022 09:40

JamSandle · 01/10/2022 07:29

I cried when I first came back to the UK from NZ/Australia. It felt cramped, dirty, this palpable air of misery. Maybe it depends where you are in the country. I've heard people in Sydney are very unfriendly.

Everything has pros and cons. But its worth looking into if you think your quality of life may be better elsewhere.

Why are you posting about oz on a Canada thread? 🙄

ChilliPB · 01/10/2022 13:28

CoveredInCobwebs · 30/09/2022 21:29

@Eeksteek If that's the climate you want then wouldn't the east coast be better? That sounds like Ontario/Quebec to me. The west can be very wet and grey. (I used to live in the US but on the Quebec border and that was exactly our climate. Absolutely glorious but I love the long winters because I ski.)

@ChilliPB I thought you might say somewhere in Scotland Grin After a decade up here I cannot imagine living in central/southern England. I even find it claustrophobic visiting.

Same @CoveredInCobwebs I go back fairly often to visit family and friends but I really don’t miss it. Love it here and can’t imagine ever moving back South!

ElCaMum · 01/10/2022 14:32

@CoveredInCobwebs yes I would say it is true that parents are kinder or maybe quieter when dealing with their children! I still yell for my kids to leave the playground and am aware that I’m a rare breed!!!

For those who are saying it’s dull, I think it depends on your lifestyle and expectations. We like our quiet life and we have some great friends who we love to hang out with. However, the humour is different but there are plenty of people from different cultures so we just save our banter for our British and Aussie friends.

The reality is you could pick apart any country and I think there are some pretty harsh comments about both Canada and the UK so it really is personal choice.

VoiceOfCommonSense · 01/10/2022 15:31

I would say Australia is much better. Check to see if your occupation is on the skilled occupations list and if you can meet the points test. You get all the same good stuff you oils with Canada, but just with nicer weather 😀