to not need mansplaining regarding my breasts?

[Minimalme]

I have had some localised breast pain for last couple of months.

GP examined me and said she could feel "something" so referred me to the breast clinic.

Appointment today and was told the male
Consultant wouldn't wear a face mask but I had to.

He examined my breasts which I found really difficult because he is male.

He has concluded the pain I feel is because of my underwired bra being too tight. I told him it isn't and the pain has been consistent and I don't sleep in a bra and often wear non underwired bras.

He told me that he "still thinks it is" caused by my bra.

Then he refused to do a mammogram. He said as am 49 I will get one soon anyway.

DH has taken a day off work so I can be dismissed after a 5 minute examination.

I am upset, angry and importantly, still worried because this man has dismissed my GP's concern using his special powers of mansplaining.

I am now going private. We are not comfortably off by any stretch of the imagination.

It was before covid so things might have changed but my dh went to our local breast clinic as he had some lumps and he waited in the same waiting rooms as the women

Sorry to hear about your husband..I hope he's OK now?

Personally I feel differently about men who are there as patients themselves. I feel the same empathy/sympathy with them as with female patients.

I actually think not allowing extra people into all medical settings during covid (obviously except for children or those who are vulnerable/need additional assistance etc.) generally made hospitals/clinics much more bearable.

Having twice the number of people in a clinic, only half of whom need to be there, just makes everything more overcrowded, uncomfortable,noisy and stressful.

The breast clinic I attended was very specifically a breast clinic, nothing else being done there, and it was the height of covid so very strict rules about entering the hospital. You couldn't even go in to get a coffee before your appointment.

It's only my personal experience but there was a genuine sense of camaraderie, mutual support and respect for other patients (all of whom were women on that day at least) which I found comforting at a very difficult time.

Quite the opposite of attending antenatal clinics where blokes sprawl across chairs looking at their phone while pregnant women have to stand.

I respect your view and that others feel differently.

i'm not responding to those other posters (not you) who thought it was appropriate to mock me, say I don't like my own husband or that I'm 'scared of men'. There's no need to insult people because they feel differently about something.

I actually think not allowing extra people into all medical settings during covid (obviously except for children or those who are vulnerable/need additional assistance etc.) generally made hospitals/clinics much more bearable.

It made it much more bearable for you.

It no doubt made it much more stressful for other people, though.

I’m the first to not want men on ante- and post-natal wards, for example - especially outside visiting hours - when women are actually vulnerable, frightened, exposed, and in need of privacy and dignity.

But in a waiting room? No, I’m fine with people who need someone with them to have that.

It’s not mansplaining, it’s doctorsplaining. He’s the expert. Listen to him..

Why do people still have such faith in doctors? I've read horror story after horror story of issues being misdiagnosed and missed.

My FIL has only a 30% chance of being alive in five years due to being told he was suffering from piles - for five years. Now has a Gleason score of 9.

My friend's mother was so ill with bowel cancer she was hospitalised and they somehow still missed it. By the time that was diagnosed she was terminal.

I have permanent injuries from a medication that a doctor should not have prescribed to me.

People have to inform themselves, and advocate for themselves. "Listening to the expert" could just as easily kill you.

I agree with you about ante/postnatal wards, based on first-hand experience. But that's part of why (in retrospect) I felt so much more comfortable in a clinic without male partners hanging around - because I learned that men really don't have any respect for women undergoing medical procedures, regardless of whether or not their own partner is one of them.

Personally, I felt extremely vulnerable, frightened, and exposed while moving between the different parts of the breast clinic, waiting to see if I had the same disease that's killed most of my female relatives.

Clearly there are differences of opinion here. I recognise you feel differently to me. It would be nice if we all had a choice, but given that getting any treatment at all on the NHS is like winning the lottery at the moment, that's obviously a pipe dream.

Just because someone is wrong doesn't make it mansplaining.

Sorry, I hadn't realised you were the same poster who made the very nasty dig about 'some people actually like their partner'. I wouldn't have bothered responding if I'd realised.

I’m sorry I upset you with the comment. Genuinely.

Personally, I felt extremely vulnerable, frightened, and exposed while moving between the different parts of the breast clinic, waiting to see if I had the same disease that's killed most of my female relatives.

This sticks out to me, though.

This feeling is exactly why some people want to have someone with them. And it’s exactly why some partners want to go with the person having the appointment.

I have had several routine screenings, where I’ve gone by myself, because it’s routine and I didn’t feel I needed anyone.

But one time I went because I had specific concerns and symptoms, and DH came with me.

I felt frightened and vulnerable, and wanted someone with me - likewise, breast cancer killed both my grandmothers before I was even born.

Yesterday, for my routine screening, DH asked me if I wanted him there, and I said no. That wouldn’t necessarily always be my answer, though.

he completely dismissed what she was saying though