to not need mansplaining regarding my breasts?

[Minimalme]

I have had some localised breast pain for last couple of months.

GP examined me and said she could feel "something" so referred me to the breast clinic.

Appointment today and was told the male
Consultant wouldn't wear a face mask but I had to.

He examined my breasts which I found really difficult because he is male.

He has concluded the pain I feel is because of my underwired bra being too tight. I told him it isn't and the pain has been consistent and I don't sleep in a bra and often wear non underwired bras.

He told me that he "still thinks it is" caused by my bra.

Then he refused to do a mammogram. He said as am 49 I will get one soon anyway.

DH has taken a day off work so I can be dismissed after a 5 minute examination.

I am upset, angry and importantly, still worried because this man has dismissed my GP's concern using his special powers of mansplaining.

I am now going private. We are not comfortably off by any stretch of the imagination.

I don’t get his logic of ‘you’ll be called for a mammogram next year anyway.’ He could equally have said ‘you’re almost due your first screening mammogram so we will do one now’

A mammogram next year might not be much help if this IS cancer. And you have symptoms now. Whenever you go for screening - mammogram or smear or bowel cancer - they tell you to come back if you have symptoms and not wait for the next screening test for precisely this reason 🤦‍♀️

I’m sorry this happened to you OP. Hopefully it is just an issue with your bra but the consultant’s dismissal of your concerns and your knowledge of your own body is so disrespectful and downright stupid.

And it’s not even like he has gained your trust and put your mind at rest is it? I had an investigation at one of those clinics a couple of years ago and was sent for a scan even though I am pretty sure the consultant felt nothing. As I walked into the scan room the sonographer was laughing with her colleagues about the consultant I had just seen, ‘OMG he KEEPS sending me patients with breast pain. Breast pain is not cancer 😂’ She asked me what I was there for and who had sent me cue ‘haha of course it was him, breast pain isn’t cancer you know, it is hormonal.’ I just replied that my mum had died the previous year of breast cancer that had started with pain so I’d rather be on the safe side. She shut up after that. Lucky for me she was correct and my pain wasn’t cancer but it didn’t actually give me great faith in her. (I have health anxiety and it mithered me for a time that she might not have scanned properly.)

Please kick up a fuss and seek a second opinion OP.

The Dr just said for a scan. I am so done with this thread though thanks for asking an actual question rather than bullying me like many other posters have done.

Next time don't waste your time and go for private scan straightaway. This doctor has been ridiculous. NHS is becoming more and more useless.

You’ve ignored all the people saying you should go back to your GP, explain the male consultant was dismissive and that you want a referral to a female consultant.

Ugh i am so sorry OP. Definitely get a second opinion. But do your homework as to who to ask.

I was mansplained for years about period pain - 25 years actually - I had stage 4 endometriosis everywhere (even diaphragm) and adenomyosis.

Even the private consultant who diagnosed me (incorrectly as it happens at stage 1) asked if I wanted to have another baby to help my symptoms (I have three and had dangerous miscarriages with horrendous blood loss previously, so no).

I was once told by a hospital doctor that I had numbness in feet due to wearing tight shoes (I only wear trainers). Subsequently diagnosed with a condition that affects autonomic function and can cause problems with feeling in hands and feet.

🤦🏼‍♀️

I agree the NHS is basically over, isn't it.

You have absolutely no idea whether every other woman there managed "fine" or not. When I had to have extensive follow-up investigations alone during Covid - further mammogram, ultrasound, two biopsies, titanium marker insertion at a 'one-stop shop' clinic - the other women in the waiting room only saw me reading on my phone or making polite small talk. They didn't see me pulled over in the layby on my way home sobbing because I'd been internalising so much stress for two weeks.

There is nothing bizarre or odd about wanting support from one's husband at a potentially stressful time. What is bizarre is the prevailing attitude on MN that taking any kind of comfort in or enjoyment of one's partner's company is some kind of weakness.

I'm sorry you felt dismissed, OP. I think many of us who have been on the receiving end of it recognise the "here's another hysterical woman" mindset of some medical professionals, which is a very different thing from hearing an unexpected (whether for better or for worse) outcome but at least feeling like you've been listened to and investigated comprehensively. I echo the suggestion to go back to your GP and explain what happened - and what didn't - at the appointment to see if there is an alternative referral she can make.

I wonder if you saw the same male consultant as my Mum. She did have cancer. He was appallingly rude and brusque.

OP I’m sorry you are still worried, the whole point of the 2WW is as you said to draw a line under it either way.
When I went to the breast clinic I had a brief examination and then a breast USS. They didn’t do a mammogram as I was under 50 and was told it was thickened tissue. I was reassured from the USS but like you would probably still be worried from just a doctors examination.

As someone who has gone through all this and a mastectomy to end it ALL my doctors where male (never once felt awkward, they weren't geting their jollies from feeling my 6cm tumour), sometimes they even disagreed and contradicted each other but NONE where 'mansplaining'... its litrally their job.

Sorry you didnt like this medical profesionals opinion but a female doctor could have been the same or likely worse. All my breast doctors where male but I also went through infertility treatment and the women doctors where always far more dismissive, rude and 'talking down to you' than the male doctors.

Oh and let me say this re the 2 week wait/referral pathway. We think that this is fantastic because you aren't on a waiting list of months/years. It is actually shit and in other developed countries, you'd be seen the next day. We are totally brainwashed. We don't have enough docs, hospitals or anything. Wake up everyone!!!

I was also distressed and was comforted by my husband before/after the appointment. I'm talking about during the clinic itself.

There were women there of all ages from maybe 20 years old up to very elderly women, all of us in various states of stress, fear, pain, embarrassment, etc., having to repeatedly undress and undergo painful and humiliating procedures. It would have been a thousand times worse if there had been men there who weren't staff members.

There is nothing bizarre or odd about wanting support from one's husband at a potentially stressful time. What is bizarre is the prevailing attitude on MN that taking any kind of comfort in or enjoyment of one's partner's company is some kind of weakness.

It is also bizarre not to recognise that having people there who are male, not staff or patients, and not related to you can make an already traumatic experience much worse.

You may want your husband there - none of the other women there benefit from his presence - quite the reverse.

Not to mention that the clinic I attended during covid was already extremely crowded with only just enough chairs for the patients. Having had to attend antenatal clinics and stand up several times during late pregnancy while male partners took up chairs, I unfortunately know perfectly well that many men do not have the consideration or decency to allow women who are actually having treatment to sit down.

I know I am likely to have another referral in the not-too-distant future and I'm dreading it. Get comfort from your partner outside the clinic, not in a way that invades other women's privacy and takes up vital space.

The OP seems to think that her husband taking the day off work is the NHS's fault.

OP

nobody derided you for having concerns about your breast.
people have merely pointed out that your thread title is entirely sexist and dismissive of a persons qualifications.
You have to remember this man has seen , felt and scanned more boobs than you will ever see in your lifetime.

if you have started with….
“AIBU to ask for a second opinion ……”

people would have given higher responses in your favour.

it is very common for people to disagree with their doctor but they are people of all sexes and all conditions.

of course you have a right to go private for a second opinion

Bullying?
You mean they don't agree with you?

The fact that you 'feel shit' is on you not on him. He examined you and gave his diagnosis. If you are not happy with it then you are of course at liberty to go private. Particularly if you have particular needs as to the the sex of your doctor.

Have you considered not wearing a bra or just wearing a very soft bra for a couple of weeks to see if it could be that?

I don’t understand why you say he was mansplaining, if a female consultant had given the same answer would you have happily trotted off. What’s his sex got to do with it?

PMSL at those who think a consultant doctor can't be dismissive of a woman with a medical issue!

From a clinical point of view, breast pain is very rarely a sign of cancer and location will matter on that too. I don’t think it’s mansplaining but I wouldn’t be happy to be so dismissed. I’d contact gp and request mammogram referral or contact pals to see if they can get a second opinion from another consultant.

I'm sorry you didn't get the service you wanted, our breast clinic is nurse led which does somehow make it feel slightly friendlier.

If your MRI shows nothing then I would suggest asking to be referred to your nearest breast pain clinic for their advice.

Ours is run by a breast surgeon and she is lovely.

@Lessofallthisunpleasantness she literally stated she wears different bras and sometimes none in her op.

I did

You obviously know about your body and he has studied medicine and then his specialist filed for many years, involving many breast examinations along the way.
To dismiss his experience as 'mansplaining' is very derogatory.
If you are not happy with the opinion ask for another 2nd opinion, in the meantime avoid underwired bras and give his theory the test.

It would have been a thousand times worse if there had been men there who weren't staff members.

You know men can get breast cancer too? So you could very easily have found yourself in the waiting room with men who weren't staff members...

So did I, but in my case I'd had a CT scan for another cancer and it showed up the breast cancer and lymph node involvement clearly.

Can’t believe this thread. It’s well known that woman’s health issues are a massive area of concern. Op - I would go Back to your original gp and ask for 2nd opinion.