to not need mansplaining regarding my breasts?

[Minimalme]

I have had some localised breast pain for last couple of months.

GP examined me and said she could feel "something" so referred me to the breast clinic.

Appointment today and was told the male
Consultant wouldn't wear a face mask but I had to.

He examined my breasts which I found really difficult because he is male.

He has concluded the pain I feel is because of my underwired bra being too tight. I told him it isn't and the pain has been consistent and I don't sleep in a bra and often wear non underwired bras.

He told me that he "still thinks it is" caused by my bra.

Then he refused to do a mammogram. He said as am 49 I will get one soon anyway.

DH has taken a day off work so I can be dismissed after a 5 minute examination.

I am upset, angry and importantly, still worried because this man has dismissed my GP's concern using his special powers of mansplaining.

I am now going private. We are not comfortably off by any stretch of the imagination.

I got referred to the breast clinic on the 2 week pathway - my GP didn't even see me, just referred me based on my e-consult.
Turned out the lump was my rib. I felt like a prize idiot, but I'm sure I'm not the first and I won't be the last.
He was thorough and kind and the chaperone was lovely.

I wouldn't say that an actual doctor giving his opinion on what you're going through is 'mansplaining'. He is diagnosing you based on your symptoms and his experience and training. Not remotely the same as mansplaining

YANBU if the problem was underwire surely it would be your ribs that hurt rather than breasts? He obviously doesn't know how bras work. Hope you manage to get your mammogram!

You're doing the right thing in seeking a second opinion, OP.

Sounds like he was quite dismissive.

If you're in Gloucestershire OP, I got a letter for a mammogram in the month of my 50th birthday and then another letter about 3 months later when I'd completely forgotten about booking it. When I did phone, I was offered an appointment around 10 days later (Cheltenham).

So fed up with the phrase ‘mansplaining’ it’s cliched and sexist but I do think it’s good to get a second opinion to put your mind at rest.

I wouldn't have taken anyone with me even if I had had the option.

It was far, far better being there with women only (aside from the staff) and actually there was a nice sense of camaraderie as no one had brought husbands, friends, relatives etc. Into what is already a stressful, painful and somewhat humiliating experience.

The understanding that we were all in the same boat made the whole environment more comforting and friendly. Several women spoke to each other while waiting for the next procedure/exam etc.

I wish they had continued this policy, it made the whole thing much more bearable.

My outcome was ultimately good, although I remain high risk for various reasons. I hope yours was too.

I had numerous male doctors dismiss my horrendous period pain as 'normal'. I was made to feel like a nuisance.

It turned out to be stage 4 endometriosis and I had cysts the size of apples. Due to being ignored for 18 years, I'm now I'm infertile. They literally took away my chance of having a family.

Get your second opinion, OP. You don't want this to cost your life. We put FAR too much trust in these people and they get it wrong sometimes.

Listen to your gut.

Have you missed the several posts on here from women who had breast pain and it was resolved from not wearing underwire bras, after being advised the same as the OP was

I laugh at women on here who think they know more than a bloody doctor about breast pain

Did you miss the part where the GP felt a lump? My best friends mother is dying of breast cancer (she didn't feel a lump), so yeah I am pro screening

YABU if you think a breast consultant is a "mansplainer".

My NHS Scotland breast specialist ran a one-stop-shop breast clinic for women in Glasgow. AFAIK it still exists.

I was 36, (already had a different cancer and expecting metastases), felt a breast lump, was referred by GP, and in one afternoon at the ISS clinic I had a mammogram, an ultrasound, a needle biopsy, and an appointment with the professor Consultant who advised me the results suggested an urgent surgical biopsy the following week. It confirmed breast cancer.

10 years later , I'd moved house and GP practice and discovered another lump; new GP referred me to the same clinic for the same procedures same Consultant; who wanted another GA biopsy. That time, just a benign cyst.

Because of my history I was recalled every 3 years for mammograms at a mobile clinic, (all negative) to age 70. Now I'm 75 and too old for the automatic recall mammogram appt but I can opt to attend on request. Haven't needed to so far. I still self- examine religiously and thoroughly on the 1st of every month.

I wonder if those male rocket scientists who have never been to space are mansplaining when they tell the astronauts what buttons to press. Please stop over-using the word.

On a separate note, a dismissive medical professional when you are in pain or worried isn't great, I feel for you there.

@BaileySharp

The Gp thought she felt a lump. Not conclusive hence the referral.

The GP is not a specialist, a specialist investigated and said it was due to underwire bras.

Other posters were told the same and guess what, their doctors were correct.

The OP only thinks she knows more because the consultant was a man

I had a breast lump. The male consultant gave them one look and said word for word (as I sat there topless, cold and uncomfortable!)

"You're both too young and your breasts are too small for cancer"

So I sat on the bed, aged 33 at the time and stayed nice and calm and asked the nurse "is there a real doctor in the department who does thorough examinations or is this all we have?"

She left and came back with a doctor who confirmed my lump was a concern and that cancer doesn't age discriminate.

He also said that a comment on the size of my breasts was unprofessional and he encouraged me to complain. So I did

😠 still makes me cross

Hope you're OK OP xx

OP, your experience is absolutely disgusting. But commonplace. And people are worshipping the NHS whilst it is completely and utterly fucked. Problems need admitting before they can be solved.

You are doing the right thing to get a private mammogram. The NHS has cut so much that some people actually think this kind of standard of care is OK, as illustrated on this thread. It isn't OK, it is arrogant and slapdash.

Hopefully you do not have BC. However for the people who think you have to feel a lump, my mum had a lump that could not be felt by her or the GP and was completely painless. Anyway it was BC. It was detected because her nipple collapsed. She had missed her routine mammograms because the last time she went to one, the male operative was rude AF to her and she was humiliated. This stuff kills people.

And OMG, the op's DH took a day off work to support her because she was going to an important appointment that could have diagnosed her with cancer. Your DH did the right thing. People can be mean. And they are utterly hoodwinked thinking that the care the NHS gives is OK. It's 3rd world.

And all the while, there are 18yos with 4Astars at A level getting told to FO by medschools and ending up in alternative degrees. Our country is fucked. If I didn't have family here, I'd emigrate tomorrow. "Free healthcare for all" is more like "5 minutes and fuck off and possibly die".

No it isn't. The clinic starts with consultant examination and then goes through mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy. You bail out at any of those points if the medics are happy to rule it out. You're given the long time frame in case you're there for all of it.

Ugh sounds like Treliske OP. You in Cornwall? Hope not

I suggest then that you never do some internet research on medical negligence - failure to identify breast cancer on Westlaw or similar...

As for the word "mansplaining" - if this ends up as a case of medical negligence, by the time lawyers have finished demanding and sifting through all medical evidence available, using correct technical legal-medical terminology, "mansplaining" will seem a welcome word choice.

This is the "wait and see" approach. We all know that most cancers are best caught early, and we have modern diagnostic equipment available to assist with that or to reassure that there is peace of mind. But in the UK, with the NHS, it has somehow become acceptable to adopt a practice of waiting to see if the symptoms worsen over time.

yabu for calling him a mansplainer. There are many women GPS and consultants that would have come to the same conclusion and have also failed to send people for screening on this and other conditions.

breast cancer rarely manifests firstly as pain.

As a point of reference I have had breast pain twice and both times it was because I was wearing the wrong size bra. Both times bra was too small.

Some of the replies on here are ridiculous. So defensive about men and consultants.

Anyway, despite MN 50% or more finding me unreasonable for feeling patronised by a man on the topic of bra pain and blocking access to a fairly basic test, I have booked a private MRI for £££.

Which is a shame but there you have it.

I'm off because I've got stuff to do and am finding this thread monumentally unhelpful.

OP if you have a moment to answer this, were you told the breast MRI would be better than the mammogram?

They aren't all the same..One clinic started with mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy then consultant.
They don't all work the same.
The first time I went, I through the system for a loop as I didn't want an automatic mammogram without first being examined. So my appointment went ultrasound, then I thought I was waiting for the consultant, but because I'd confused the system he's gone home and I had to go another day.

The second and third time I went it was the same system but I accepted the mammogram rather than have that hassle again. But then I'm really not happy with two mammograms in under a year.

Also, the GP felt a lump. Which she documented in her referral letter.

I spoke to the GP about breast pain and she examined me.

I also worn a bralette all summer because it was so hot.

But carry on laughing and deriding me. I expect nothing less from MN.