Summer Born Babies - to feel sad?

[confusedMumm443]

My daughter is summer born. Just started year 3. I felt very sad today as she was being her usual playful self and the group of girls near her were laughing at her. She is very immature compared to the other girls. They seem very grown up whereas she’s very young. She’s the youngest in the class and just for context 3 of them have already turned 8 whereas she won’t turn 8 till end of August. I spoke to teacher today too who said she is very young and she can see she’s very young compared to the other forms she hangs with. Is this what school will be like for her now? I feel really sad and sometimes think whether we should have delayed the start of school for another year.

It was just so upsetting seeing her play around at drop off whilst waiting for the teacher and the group of girls laughing at her. I can’t get the image out of my head. She’s so innocent she didn’t realise they were poking fun at her.

*forms no autocorrect meant girls

I have two August borns. Just sending a big hug as I know how it feels.

Forgot to mention. It’s a new school
as we moved. I didn’t feel it at all in her last school.

I felt like this in primary but by year 6 she had caught up. It isn’t forever, they all catch up at different times but they will

I don't have any advice or experience really but that must be really sad to see 😔 I supposed the only thing really is if she doesn't realise the girls are poking fun at her then she is none the wiser and happy regardless..maybe? I would hope the teacher would picking up on the girls laughing at her.

@Iamnotsoexcited thank you x

Aw that sounds hard to watch. I'm not at that age yet but I imagine that the gaps will begin to lessen as they get older.

If it's a new school, can you move her back a year? There's tons of research showing that being summer-born confers a disadvantage all the way up through the education system. Holding them back a year makes sense, especially as it's a new school so she won't miss her friends.

@Teadrinkingmumofone i did speak to teacher and she made out the girls are all so lovely and wouldn’t poke fun of her. The group of girls have made a few other remarks about my daughter which I overheard. My poor darling didn’t realise what they were saying! The teacher doesn’t think they’re being mean but as a parent it’s hard to watch.

What @KvotheTheBloodless said. X

I was born in August. I can’t remember it causing me any problems.

I have a summer born DS, but he was born an old man. My youngest is October born. There is a big difference, but it becomes less significant as they get older.

encourage her to be herself.

I'm an August 31st baby. In my 40s now. I honestly wouldn't have thought a thing about it if my mother hadn't made such a big deal (academically I did well, but it was hard not being able to "legally" go to the pub when everyone else was celebrating their a levels).

At lower primary school the difference can be noticeable - however I can assure you from personal experience it does even out the higher you get in the education system.

More her back a year if u can, I did.

I would speak to the teacher every time you see or hear something, if you can and hope they do then deal with it.
Try and remember that like most things its harder on you than it is on her. It sounds like she is unaware 🙂 and ignorance is bliss isn't it.

My girl has a 30th August birthday and she seems very young and innocent compared to most of her year group. Primary had it’s ups and downs but year 7 was awful. Now in year 8 with a new friendship group and things have turned a corner for her. She goes to Guides and has friends in year 7 which helps. A neighbour is less than a week younger but in year 7 and they get on brilliantly. Luckily my DD is doing well academically and is starting to take pride in her geeky reputation. I’m sure your DD will find her people in time.

Thank you everyone. Can you believe I’m sitting here crying my eyes out! I feel so pathetic. It was just so sad watching her and the girls looking and laughing.

As she gets older the gap between her and the others will become less obvious. Years 3/4 it really shows up but it’s a different story in years 5/6.
In my DD year group it’s hard to tell who is the oldest and youngest as there are some very mature, levelheaded ones who are summer-born and some flighty, tearful, immature autumn-borns in the mix.

Try not to worry, she will find her path, and hopefully nice friendships too, in her own time.

Does she do any clubs out of school? Mixing with kids of different ages might do her good, Cubs, Brownies, drama etc.

I'm late August-born and honestly it's been a positive more than a negative. So what if I was usually the youngest, someone always is the youngest after all, just happened to be me.

Fear not OP, it looks worse from the outside than it is when you're actually the subject. It's much harder when you get to 60 and finally realize that you're the oldest now and the days of being the youngest are long gone.

Just to put the other view. My DC is late August birthday and also has mild autism. Primary school was tough but it all changed in secondary school. Not bragging in anyway but GCSES were all A* and A. I'm delighted for my child.

They found their niche and thrived.

Don't panic in Y3 it's going to be tough. It may well not be

I have a summer born in year 3 too. It is hard and sometimes I do wonder whilst she's pushing her teddy in a pram to school if her friends still do that too. She seems happy though and never mentions feeling younger compared to her friends.

Keep on with the teacher to stop the others picking on her. Maybe it would be an idea to move her back a year if you feel it'll benefit her. I suppose though she doesnt notice herself which is good.

I have one born in late July and my stepson in August. No issues - my son was most definitely ready for school.
Why are these girls laughing at her? It may have nothing to do with her immaturity.
I think the rules of the playground are harsh - kids have to toughen up fast. It can be heartbreaking, it brings up all the times we ourselves felt picked on, excluded, laughed at. Hopefully she will make a friend soon.

My DD is August born too. I felt the same way in the early years. DD has just started Year 7 & actually, the gap is now less obvious. It undoubtedly helps that her best friend from primary school is also August born & is now with her at high school. They pretty much take on the world together. But they aren't obviously younger than their peers any more.

May help that DD is my youngest child. Not sure.

Don’t move her down a year because some 8 year olds at a new school are being shitty. I had this at school and I was October born! It was because my mum parented very differently and didn’t let me get my ears pierced, have makeup, watch older films, buy new trendy clothes etc. Some kids are just awful and I am glad I didn’t get on with them, they grew into insular homophobic bitches whose entire life achievement was playing netball against the neighbouring village and winning that one time and those who made it to uni both dropped out by year two.